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Harlequin
01-30-2007, 12:38 AM
All things is moderation... including moderation. Monotony sucks. You know this either by pleasure or pain. If the latter then it was a real wake up call & maybe you lost a relationship because of it.

NICE is BORING. That doesn't mean being the bad boy is the only way to go. Yet, when we act nice a hot girl used to being approached constantly may well hit defcon 1, "What does this guy want from me?"

And in response to the bad boy she realises that he doesn't need anything. Allow me to elaborate. Consider that the nice guy is one that may have hurt her in the past. Some oaf, playing the nice guy could have played her... & now she's on guard. So many have observed how the bad boy thing works. Relationships & pick up are my forte... you just gotta pick yourself up first.

Nice too often means dull. Naughty is at the very least, interesting. As is juggling whilst riding backwards on a bicyle... (wait for my video response on that one) Here's a few principles to think about when you're in a relationship.

In a relationship, sure, you're going to show love & there are five ways of showing love.

Saying it is one of the weakest if you're saying it all the time.

Doing caring things.

Giving gifts "Here, I brought you a squirrel."

Saying it.

Um... spraying it.

I've forgotten the fifth one... smeg.

Show that love day & night sure, make efforts in the relationship that bring you both happiness, but have enough space from each other that your beloved can feel the loss of you each day. When you're giving your girl attention it should be like the sun is shining in her face... (not out of her arse) & when you take that beautiful energy away from her, you enhance it even more.

What is a night without the day? Cold... the sun also rises. What is a nice day for 9 months like in the arctic circle? Boring & dreadful on the eyes. NICE? Pah... always remember, dark clouds make sunbeams.

Do nice things sure but master their absence & work on push pull theory within the frame of relationship. Forget Nice. Long term, Nice is AFC territory.

Here's a simple equation, hope + doubt = passion.

If you give a girl the impression you're going to be around forever you'll run the risk of boring the pants off her instead of taking her panties down with your teeth. Scarcity increases value.

When your time is limited it becomes all the more special for each moment they have the prize of you in sight. You keep her wanting for more because she fears the prospect of you leaving... RELATIONSHIPS ARE NO DIFFERENT! Scarcity = Value. Give the gift of missing you.

Be romantic, be adventurous, you can FLIRT with your own GF didn't you know? Be playful, be naughty, be yourself, that's sexy, but don't even get near NICE. You fullfil her needs, emotional security, physical hungers, thirsts... you feed her, you cook for her, you love her, you allow her your body & when you tease her, please her & have her screaming your name you satisfy her...

With any action eliminate the nice. For example, let's say you cook for her & get all romantic, you're not trying to be nice. If you cook for her you're showing her love. There's nothing wrong with doing kind things, or being kind to someone: kindness is love in motion. There is however, the wrong intention behind it & the wrong application of nice can bore a person if you're not exciting & interesting in equal measure to just being plain nice.

Over ten years ago (fecking smeg!) I was a nice guy to the first girl I really loved & I lost her because something more exciting came her way... travel in that case but still, if I'd had been as exciting as the prospect of that travel or had my own threat of going off on my travels at the time I would have been with her for longer. It's about prizability & satisfying the human thirst for wonder & the unknown. Not knowing... the most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. Embrace the unknown right (' *,)

Nice, predictable, regular... *YAWN* average... usual... *Zzzz* normal.

Versus

Passionate! Unpredictable... Boo! (bet'cha didn't see that one comin')Extraordinary! (Shouldn't that mean, even more ordinary? English blows) Exciting! Unusual, (' *,) Natural...

Live each of your days with passion. Keep her guessing, keep her wanting. Keep taking away. Keep surprising her. Exceed your own expectations & accept that your best is good enough. Have her invest in you at least as much as you invest in her... we become part of what we invest in. So garner this principle & reap the rewards.

rockdon
03-13-2007, 08:39 AM
Harlequin, wow.

Absolutely terrific post.

Stan
03-16-2007, 09:45 AM
Good work, makes so much sence that i am amazed that know one has written about it before.

Xtreeme
03-17-2007, 04:09 AM
I love you man.

I truly do and Im not gay.

Fuck I needed this three months ago, lol.

Peace bro!

Kevarg
03-17-2007, 06:29 PM
This is a good post and you are talking about a lot of things that are true.

We all go through this, Typical cat string theory. That cat gets bored, so does the girl.

There is just one thing you did not mention and I think is important for everyone to consider while doing this.

Yes give her the gift of missing you, abscences are good.. really good.

But now, don't be absence for too long or she will find someone else to fill her needs. Abscense is good if she is thinking about you while you are not there.

For short term abscences what I do is... if going out to a bar, tell her im picking her up at 9 and then show up at 9:30 she will be thinking where the hell is he.. he is never like this, blah blah I did it to this girl I was seeing and when she was drunk she told me that she felt like I was hitting on her when I was not even there... This is great shit if done properly

For long term absances, lets say you dont see her or talk to her for a couple of days...well you need to make sure she is thinking about you. So what I do is, lets say we are going out Saturday night to a bar. So she will be thinking about that while during the week you have been away from her.


As said in the first post in this thread, girls love that attention...but too much of it will bite you in the ass. So yes play with the abscences...and make sure when she does see you she has a great time. When she is with you if she is and HB8 she should feel like an HB10.
However, don't push yourself so far away that she will have space to find someone else.

CrimsonKing
03-18-2007, 05:20 PM
Excellent post and an excellent addition by Kevarg.

The 5teven
03-20-2007, 05:36 PM
This post seemed insightful and I agree with most of the content so I approve and yes my approval is what makes things law.

easytiger
04-25-2007, 07:38 AM
yep, another spot-on thread mate. damn I wish I'd have found the community ten years ago....

FlashVW
05-01-2007, 10:04 PM
Wow, this post is really going to stick with me. You have such a respect for women. I thought I lost the love for women when i started to learn about the game. You helped me remember...
Cheers,
Flash.

Smiler
06-07-2007, 02:46 PM
This sort of thing is really useful for us newbies. openers are good but i've got loads of girls i already know to chose from i just struggle to keep the exctement there, Great post

ricensoysauce
06-11-2007, 12:44 PM
I was just having a bad day. This post just totally picked me up. Thanks.

Mikah9
06-15-2007, 07:40 AM
i completed fucked it up in exactly this way with one of my first serious gf's.

great post.

TripleSeven
10-30-2007, 08:50 AM
HQ. Posts like this are why I fucking miss you.

Colin
11-04-2007, 12:46 PM
yep, another spot-on thread mate. damn I wish I'd have found the community ten years ago....

Yeah....like many others. But probably you wouldn`t have searched it or maybe believe the stuff. Cause most times if it is about love it is like this:

Even if we know that some things we do are wrong, we still do them because the heart tells something else than the mind does. It`s called LOVE.:D

Btw Harlequin your absolutley right!!! It`s like with everything. If you really got it you want something else or even more. If you got it, but don`t know how long it would last, it`s more interesting. It`s all about the balance between two people.

If you give too much love (I know it sounds silly) it is just bad like you give nothing. At the end there`s no difference! The balance of space and giving love gotta be equlised. Nearly most problems in a relationship were caused by a disbalance. If you have been a nice guy it will look like a game for you, like playing a game on her. But it isn`t. Cause most nice guys forgot their own life and stop doing they`re activites they`ve done before, they run round and see her a lotta times, even if they normally wanted to go out with friends...
So all that kinda stuff causes a disbalance in a relationship between to people. It`s like you are giving someone a lot but you receive nothing. Yeah you think, that`s unconditional love ???

Would you really let you "mistreat" like that if you ain`t blinded by passion & love?

Harlequin
11-23-2007, 12:27 AM
HQ. Posts like this are why I fucking miss you.Improve your aim then, I'm right here. (' *,)

flashgordon
12-06-2007, 04:44 AM
think the post was originally from juggler.

Fasine
12-06-2007, 02:30 PM
A "natural" friend of mine put it very well once. "BLINDSIDE her with niceness when she doesn't see that shit coming. Don't give her any reason to think you're a nice guy until you make her day. Then deny that bullshit when it's over and say it was a fluke so she doesn't expect it the next time." Being nice very rarely matters, but if you want to be her "Dream guy" then you need to be nice when it does matter. I like to think of the Fonz. He was always chagrinned when he felt the need to do something nice and showed it, but he never left a friend hanging either.

diao
12-28-2007, 12:55 AM
Hey fellas. It might just be a lil too late for me to have discovered this thread. I got into pu almost a yr ago and after a few months got attached to a wonderful girl. Long story short..i've slowly succumbed to committing the cardinal sins mentioned here. And as happens, my gf has the prospect of overseas travel and education. So what hq said really resonates with me. Need help here guys..i've got like a couple mths to try getting the old me back and make me as exciting or more so than travel.

duckSAUCE
01-10-2008, 11:26 PM
yea...i've always been the "nice" guy...and the wing...unless i get really trashed...(then i tend to have fun...) i don't understand why...i always want to come off as "nice"...a good friend...

doesn't it suck?;)

i really enjoyed your post...but sometimes when you "love" someone..you tend to try to give your all...i mean unpredictable...unless by treating her like crap...or making it seem like she's not "fun" anymore...it's really hard to always trying to top yourself...

i don't know..it's pretty late and i am just babbling again...but...

it's a cat string thing...

AndersonPUA
01-11-2008, 11:59 AM
I love you man.

I truly do and Im not gay.

Fuck I needed this three months ago, lol.

Peace bro!

That sounds gay to me :)

Hugz
01-16-2008, 09:41 AM
PUA relationship management technology at it's best. Thanks for sharing Harlequin. Very well said.

MarioEIU
01-16-2008, 10:12 AM
Incredible post Harlequin. I was the "nice guy" until now, and now I see where I went wrong before now.

Well done man, well done.

Harlequin
01-26-2008, 07:02 PM
think the post was originally from juggler.
?? If it was I'd have credited him. The Equation of Hope + Doubt = Passion was first put forward in Love Tactics which was a huge book back in the day & was eaten up by Mystery et al. It will have been referenced before.

And thanks guys, I'm glad I was able to offer some insight.