Hawt
01-27-2007, 10:37 PM
I posted this on my Lair and got some pretty good reactions so I figured I would post it here since I think this stuff really affects us younger guys, especially in high school and college.
Being in college this is something I run into A LOT. Most of this stuff you have probably read before, or seems like common sense. This is pretty much a big compilation of stuff from others and stuff that I have come up with that has worked for me in the field.
Let me preface with this. Obviously you never want to bring the boyfriend up. Most of the situations I deal with are when the boyfriend is NOT there, so that's what these are geared to dealing with. Also, if she brings up the boyfriend, 99% of the time it is because you displayed too much interest or fucked something up.
Now, let's get into a couple of different scenarios you could run into here.
I have a couple of things I do here...
If it just came up in conversation randomly
Then I'll usually go with something like, "Whoa, I don't want to hear about your problems, I just met you geez!" Then I do a thread change and just move off it.
You have to be careful with this because it is easy to come off as a dick. It has to be said extremely playfully.
If I asked her for her phone number
Then I go with "Uh okay?" and give her a weird look, like "why are you telling me this?". Sometimes I leave it at that and it's cool and they give me their number, but if they are still hesitant then I follow it up with, "That's cool though, you have one of those really overprotective boyfriends that don't let you have any guy friends, I know a couple of girls with guys like that."
Usually after that they are like "No, no, no here!" and you get it. Then of course thread change and move off it.
If I asked her to go somewhere with me
Say I asked her to bounce somewhere or I am trying to set up a day 2 and I get this. Then I will say something "Okay cool so you'll have someone to keep you entertained when you aren't with me then." and then you just thread change and keep talking/building comfort and try again. As long as she isn't trying to leave you are still good to go.
Her boyfriend calls/texts while I am talking with her
I run into this one ALL OF THE TIME. When it happens I'll usually just ignore it. If she blows me off to talk to her boyfriend on the phone I turn and talk to someone else. If it was a text and it only took a second I will just ignore it. Normally I never ask who it was, because this is only giving her an opportunity to say it was her boyfriend (she could be lying).
Sometimes though, for some reason girls feel the need to tell you, "Oh that was my boyfriend." Whether it really was or they are just shit testing you remains a mystery.
If they tell me then I will come back with something like "Oh that's so cute, he calls to check up on while your out. That's so needy and adorable. Man I remember when I first moved out on my own my big sister/mom/whoever used to call me all the time when I was out, it's like she/they/he didn't trust me."
This accomplishes a couple of things. I throw in the word needy but I don't focus on it so it sort of hits her and lingers in the back of her mind. Then I say how whoever, seemed like they didn't trust me. Notice how I didn't directly say that her boyfriend didn't trust her, but that it seemed like my sister or whoever didn't trust me.
Thread change and move on. Do you see a common theme here? Just move the fuck on, don't focus on it and try to find out more about him, or be an AFC chode who is like "omg i bet he treats you like shit."
If I tried to kiss her
If I try to kiss her and she brings it up, I take a step back to give her some more space, say "Man the other night, so and so"l, and thread change to a joke or something funny, or a cool story. Tyler talks about this on Foundations.
When you're out in clubs you'll see like alpha male guys try to go for the kiss all the time and the girls will pull back or whatever. But notice that the girls may pull back from the kiss, but they DON'T LEAVE. Then the guy will talk about something, usually something funny to pump their BT and then go for it again. If the girl pulls back again it's rinse and repeat. As long as she is staying there she IS attracted to you, the logistics just might not be right on her end.
So yeah, the same thing applies here. If you go to kiss her and she mentions the boyfriend, just ignore it. Like it is just so far out of your reality you don't even acknowledge her saying it.
This is the stuff that has worked for me. Feel free to post your own opinions or techniques as well.
Hope this helps,
Being in college this is something I run into A LOT. Most of this stuff you have probably read before, or seems like common sense. This is pretty much a big compilation of stuff from others and stuff that I have come up with that has worked for me in the field.
Let me preface with this. Obviously you never want to bring the boyfriend up. Most of the situations I deal with are when the boyfriend is NOT there, so that's what these are geared to dealing with. Also, if she brings up the boyfriend, 99% of the time it is because you displayed too much interest or fucked something up.
Now, let's get into a couple of different scenarios you could run into here.
I have a couple of things I do here...
If it just came up in conversation randomly
Then I'll usually go with something like, "Whoa, I don't want to hear about your problems, I just met you geez!" Then I do a thread change and just move off it.
You have to be careful with this because it is easy to come off as a dick. It has to be said extremely playfully.
If I asked her for her phone number
Then I go with "Uh okay?" and give her a weird look, like "why are you telling me this?". Sometimes I leave it at that and it's cool and they give me their number, but if they are still hesitant then I follow it up with, "That's cool though, you have one of those really overprotective boyfriends that don't let you have any guy friends, I know a couple of girls with guys like that."
Usually after that they are like "No, no, no here!" and you get it. Then of course thread change and move off it.
If I asked her to go somewhere with me
Say I asked her to bounce somewhere or I am trying to set up a day 2 and I get this. Then I will say something "Okay cool so you'll have someone to keep you entertained when you aren't with me then." and then you just thread change and keep talking/building comfort and try again. As long as she isn't trying to leave you are still good to go.
Her boyfriend calls/texts while I am talking with her
I run into this one ALL OF THE TIME. When it happens I'll usually just ignore it. If she blows me off to talk to her boyfriend on the phone I turn and talk to someone else. If it was a text and it only took a second I will just ignore it. Normally I never ask who it was, because this is only giving her an opportunity to say it was her boyfriend (she could be lying).
Sometimes though, for some reason girls feel the need to tell you, "Oh that was my boyfriend." Whether it really was or they are just shit testing you remains a mystery.
If they tell me then I will come back with something like "Oh that's so cute, he calls to check up on while your out. That's so needy and adorable. Man I remember when I first moved out on my own my big sister/mom/whoever used to call me all the time when I was out, it's like she/they/he didn't trust me."
This accomplishes a couple of things. I throw in the word needy but I don't focus on it so it sort of hits her and lingers in the back of her mind. Then I say how whoever, seemed like they didn't trust me. Notice how I didn't directly say that her boyfriend didn't trust her, but that it seemed like my sister or whoever didn't trust me.
Thread change and move on. Do you see a common theme here? Just move the fuck on, don't focus on it and try to find out more about him, or be an AFC chode who is like "omg i bet he treats you like shit."
If I tried to kiss her
If I try to kiss her and she brings it up, I take a step back to give her some more space, say "Man the other night, so and so"l, and thread change to a joke or something funny, or a cool story. Tyler talks about this on Foundations.
When you're out in clubs you'll see like alpha male guys try to go for the kiss all the time and the girls will pull back or whatever. But notice that the girls may pull back from the kiss, but they DON'T LEAVE. Then the guy will talk about something, usually something funny to pump their BT and then go for it again. If the girl pulls back again it's rinse and repeat. As long as she is staying there she IS attracted to you, the logistics just might not be right on her end.
So yeah, the same thing applies here. If you go to kiss her and she mentions the boyfriend, just ignore it. Like it is just so far out of your reality you don't even acknowledge her saying it.
This is the stuff that has worked for me. Feel free to post your own opinions or techniques as well.
Hope this helps,