Sticking Point - Convo

[Utah]

This is kindof a weird sticking point.

Ever since my AFC days (in fact especially during my AFC days) I've been a quiet person. My general convo skills are not that great. Don't get me wrong - they are perfectly adequate - but thats just the problem - they are only adequate. They are not really good.

During sarging this can create a problem especially in the first 10 minutes of a sarge (I think the most important time) - after my opener and before the hook point. Sometimes I get there, sometimes I don't. I'm hoping to get a bit more consistant.

As I'm getting a bit older its getting easier and easier but I'm hoping that you guys have some suggestions as to how to fast track this.

Currently what I'm doing is being social to EVERYONE I come into contact with. The person behind me in line, the girl at the video store (tonight actually), people who serve me at bars/service station etc...

Apart from that though I'm all ears - what do you guys recommend? Any Books to read on the topic? Fallback conversation topics? (not so much routines though because I know enough of them).

Thanks in advance

[Affection]

Hey,

As a short-term fix, have at least 3 good DHV stories that you've memorized and can pull out whenever there's a drop in conversation. Since you're ok with basic conversation and can do it "adequately," throwing in a few fun things (such as DHV spikes) will make a big difference.

A lot of being a good conversationalist is not just having having good material, but being able to present that material in a captivating way. Voice tone and body language are a good start. Also consider: pauses, facial expressions, eye contact. A more advanced technique is multithreading, which is bouncing between topics in a way that allows you to return to them later, and works surprisingly similar to computer multithreading. The VA guys are amazing at multithreading; search for their threads on the topic.

Later,

~~Affection

[Hawaii]

List all of your routines in your cellphone or text message them to yourself. If you don't have a phone, write them on a cheat sheet. Any time you are at a loss for words in a conversation, access what you have in your phone and use the routine

[Yoda]

List all of your routines in your cellphone or text message them to yourself. If you don't have a phone, write them on a cheat sheet. Any time you are at a loss for words in a conversation, access what you have in your phone and use the routine

This is a nice plan B.

[Utah]

Thanks for the advice guys it is appreciated.

Currently I do use a cheat sheet which has a mind map of all of my DHV stories. Its good to know that we all seem to be on the same page.

Hawaii's idea of texting them to myself is inspired though - you can't consult a cheat sheet during a sarge - but you can check your cell phone for "messages." Lol.

So it seems to be a case of keep on keeping on and my convo skills will get better with practice!

Thanks again

[Cedar]

During sarging this can create a problem especially in the first 10 minutes of a sarge (I think the most important time) - after my opener and before the hook point. Sometimes I get there, sometimes I don't. I'm hoping to get a bit more consistant.

The first 3-10 minutes isn't about deep conversation. It's about being fun and social. I'll tell nonsense stories, banter and generally make shit up that entertains me. The audience generally responds well to it. Because I'm having fun, and they want to have fun too.

I once asked a girl what she does. Her reply? "This really isn't the place for deep conversation." Hilarious. I have friends (after that night) that I know nothing about. Because I avoid the deep topics until after I qualify them as interesting enough to invest that kind of effort.

Currently what I'm doing is being social to EVERYONE I come into contact with. The person behind me in line, the girl at the video store (tonight actually), people who serve me at bars/service station etc...

But what are you saying to these people? Are you running an interview of what do you do/where are you from/do you always buy red apples? Cause that won't work until the other person is invested in the conversation.

You might benefit from reading Juggler's e-book (which is the style you're trying to use). Or the Art of Attraction seminar from PU101 (which is a style you'd be better off using).