Post your favorite jokes please.

[Rauschig]

Hi Folks,

I'm searching for some good jokes. Those kind of jokes women enjoy. Could you please post your favourite one?
Thanks,
Rauschig.

[Se7eN_]

Spell IHOP and then say "nis"

Say "ice bank mice elf"

[COKi]

My fav---> This is said casually and NOT when asked to tell a joke. Its Humor comes from how unexpected the answer is. It starts like this " So I made a horse laugh then cry yesterday..." usually girls respond with something like " Say what? lol how did you do that?" Then I resond with " Well first I told him that I had a bigger penis than he did. Then I showed it to him" ahahah This joke has served me so well, I hate to give it up but you guys deserve it! Sometimes after I let them react ill say "creepy or funny?" usually they say " a bit of both" haha fits my style anyway...

[Strength]

Here are a couple that has been field tested:

1) When can the word yesterday come after tomorrow?
THe answer is... In the dictionary! If they don't seem to get it, say,'' cause in the dictionary, t comes first, then y comes later.

2) A man's holding something black, white, and read, what is it?
The answer is... A newspaper.
If they know, just ask them, but why?
You have to explain this: Because the object is black, white, and he(the man) read it.

3) If a woman comes out of an oven, how would she look like?
The answer is... She's hot!

4) This one is a dirty joke, try only using them after they crack up.

A boyfriend just saw a girlfriend coming out of a bathroom, and he asked,'' So, what were you doing''. '' I was taking a shower'', the girlfriend replied.
Then, the boyfriend said, '' Alright, now that you are clean,[Pause 2sec] it's time to get dirty.

I hope this helps you a little bit.

[Mysteryman]

1. dont u agree its really important that u trust the person ur with?.......otherwise how do know she's not gonna go and tell ur wife!!

2. my girlfirends a really tecnho geek, she's got the new i-pad, i-phone, and i-touch.....u shud of seen the look on her face when i got her the new i-ron!!

3. two cannibals are sat eating a clown......one turn to the other and says does this taste funny to u?

i always try n be funny and a edgy...try to push the boundry a bit with ur jokes. better to make some impact than none with a humdrum joke even a bad joke is worth more to u then a so-so joke.