Need some urgent help.

[Eyez]

Okay,I've been talking to this girl for a little over a month. And we're kind of dating. Now we were supposed to go on a date to see Halloween. Unfortunately,I couldn't get up there. But she told me today that she had plans now to go see it with some guy from work. But he wasn't picking up his phone. Now he has a gf,but still tries to hit on the girl I'm talking to. She told me about the plans,and I said "Ohhhhhh!" She says no it's not like that,he has a gf.

So I sent her a message telling her that I'm not going to talk to a girl that's going on dates with other guys. Now I admit that I'm talking to other girls,but I wouldn't say anything. Nor would I be going to hang out with a girl,she knows about,and sitting there talking about it. So what do you guys think my next move should be? I mean,I talk to girls on the side,but I really like this girl. See I'm not worried about her,but worried about this cornball. I'm not worried about his "game",but worried that if he tried something stupid,I'd feel obligated to break his arm. So how should I handle this situation? Now please no stupid/smartass answers. I'd prefer to solve this issue tonight.

[Girl_in_the_Room]

honestly, you may be reading far more into the situation and letting your own insecurities/fears get the upper hand. From your description of the relationship with this young woman, you don't have established ground yet.

Watch the machismo stuff of judging her as "dating other guys" etc if she just talks to people; there is a distasteful double standard of what it means to "talk" to another guy/girl especially if you yourself talk to other girls. (if that made any sense) Absolutely check your aggression at the door when it comes to reacting to other men. Breaking an arm is assult by the way, and will land you a criminal record and quite possibly a restraining order. Seriously. Now is the time to reassess that kind of thought-pattern, even in jest because you're rehearsing negative, aggressive reactions that can translate into impulsive behavior and doing something really stupid that you'll regret later.

You are in danger of creating a crisis where one didn't exist before. When you couldn't make it there for the social plan, she was free to make other plans. I'd suggest no to put her on the defensive when you have absolutely no substantial informtion of the other guy, situation, etc.

in other words - breath. Step back and break the intensity on your own reactions first; and that means no impulsive text messages or calls. If you really want to explore the possiblity of seeing this girl for a while, then taking a little time-out will help you, not hurt you in the long run.

I honestly don't think you need to worry at this point. but if you micro-manage her, she'll pull away and shut down. If it's not meant to be with this girl, learn from this experience, wish her well, and move on.

**good luck.

[Eyez]

honestly, you may be reading far more into the situation and letting your own insecurities/fears get the upper hand. From your description of the relationship with this young woman, you don't have established ground yet.

Watch the machismo stuff of judging her as "dating other guys" etc if she just talks to people; there is a distasteful double standard of what it means to "talk" to another guy/girl especially if you yourself talk to other girls. (if that made any sense) Absolutely check your aggression at the door when it comes to reacting to other men. Breaking an arm is assult by the way, and will land you a criminal record and quite possibly a restraining order. Seriously. Now is the time to reassess that kind of thought-pattern, even in jest because you're rehearsing negative, aggressive reactions that can translate into impulsive behavior and doing something really stupid that you'll regret later.

You are in danger of creating a crisis where one didn't exist before. When you couldn't make it there for the social plan, she was free to make other plans. I'd suggest no to put her on the defensive when you have absolutely no substantial informtion of the other guy, situation, etc.

in other words - breath. Step back and break the intensity on your own reactions first; and that means no impulsive text messages or calls. If you really want to explore the possiblity of seeing this girl for a while, then taking a little time-out will help you, not hurt you in the long run.

I honestly don't think you need to worry at this point. but if you micro-manage her, she'll pull away and shut down. If it's not meant to be with this girl, learn from this experience, wish her well, and move on.

**good luck.

Thanks. Well everythings better,because I just assumed and was wrong,so I apologized to her. Turns out,I was thinking it was one guy and it was another guy. And the she was just going because he owes her money. But everythings cool. And I was kind of being sarcastic when saying I was going to break his arm. Although,if we got into a serious relationship,and he hit on her. I'd probably get into fighting mode,but I don't know if I'd go as far as breaking an arm. Anyway,thanks for taking the time to read and help me.

[Girl_in_the_Room]

I'm so glad ~ phew! And you get extra points for apologizing to her too. :)