Aftermath?

[oohlala]

I am thinking I really need to settle down, this is getting tougher as I get older. So, I picked up this HB7.5 2 nights ago. She is a doll. I hinestly would rate her a 9 if it was not for her being 39 (near my age) needing to lose about 15lbs. Not fat, but a little chubby. I am a tit man so that's ok for me. The story is we actually have been talking for a while and we had a lot of sexual tension going in. It ended up being one of my top 3 lays ever. It was hot and though I have had a few sex decent partners recently, this was probably the hottest sex I have had in a long time. I did not stay the night because earlier in the night I told her I had to get up for work early anyhow, so she knew that going in though I never said that to her directly (I am not staying the night). I pretty much just left after.

I was going to wait a couple of days to call her to keep her wondering. I am hoping to make her into a MLTR I just do not want to settle down yet with her. Maybe in the future. But I think i screwed up.

She called me this morning and left a message (good!) but it was not a good one, she was pretty upset. She basically said something like "I hope you had a good time using me" and " get a clue, for women the lead up to the sex and what happens AFTER the sex are more important than the sex itself... and you have it going on before the sex but afterward, you suck." "Sex is just the glue that holds those to places in time together ".

Not only was I baffled but now I feel like an asshole. I do not consider myself using her. WE HAD A CONNECTION. She felt good, i felt good. The sex was great.

What did I do wrong and how can I forge the after connection so rather with her or someone else, this kind of being viewed as asshole does not happen.

I consider myself alpha, not asshole, but there is a fine line there that I think she feels I crossed by not contacting her the day after.

[Ice 9]

Have you been managing expectations? If you were wanting casual and fun sex, but she was hoping for an LTR, that might be what made her mad. If you're with someone you would like sex with, but no LTR, it's good to talk in advance of sex, starting with something like, "To be fair, I want you to know where I'm coming from." Women will respect honestly like that usually.

[L.A. Tripp]

Managing expectations is true.

However, in this case, oohlala, she blatantly told you what you did wrong. A woman HATES it when a guy jumps up after he gets off and leaves. I mean, HATES it. You're higher in age than most guys on here, I'd think you'd know that one. She wants you to hold her, to cuddle or talk to her after sex.

And do NOT use the old and tired "I'll wait a couple of days to call her." That's so outdated it's not funny. You want to make this girl into an LTR, as you said MLTR. So, you want her long term. She obviously would like the same thing, otherwise this wouldn't have bothered her so much.

You know what to do, she told you. So, call her, talk to her, don't wait.

[oohlala]

I did not grovel but I had a talk with her (chicks like the talking that never changes) and I apologized for making her feel like I used her, I went into it meant something to me blah blah blah. I openly explained I saw a future for us but it was too soon for me and I wanted to be honest with her and told her, I would still see others but hoped I could see her too (i am giving the short version here, our talk was over an hour,) she agreed to continue to see me.