New gf has never cum before, I want to be the first, advice

[Hawkeye]

Hi

My new girl friend just told me she has never cum before with any guy but can do it by her self.

Ive tried, g spot, deep spot, back deep spot cliterous, she says im the best but she still cant cum and its impossible.

Well I like a challenge,

I think it may be due to her masturbating too much and getting accustomed to that stimulus

any advice/secrets, anybody have this problem before?

Cheers

[alexjx]

http://www.venusianarts.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25492

[L.A. Tripp]

First of all, Hawkeye, apart from that good article from JW, YOU have to get her to relax and be COMPLETELY comfortable with you.

Those techniques to get the girl to squirt, etc., will bring even the hardest girls right to the brink of orgasm. However, some girls will actually keep themselves from orgasming, usually without realizing they are standing in their own way. She MUST learn how to relax, to let herself go.

You can help her with this, by getting her more comfortable with you. We aren't talking the more superficial comfort you build while running game. This is a DEEP level of comfort. Something you build with the girl intimately and over a bit of time.

Having said that, DO NOT do this if you're just gonna dump her after you finally make her cum. This will ONLY end up damaging her more in the end.

[martinm25]

Did you tried quick magic fingers?

:)

[trancework]

Release the goal, and embrace the whole...

Simplest way to accelerate: ask her to show you.

If you want to ADD MASSIVE INTENSITY, have her RESTRAIN YOU FIRST--elbows loosely tied to a chair is good. No matter what happens, do not break your bonds--you're building trust, intimacy, and anticipation. You then take on the following archetypes:

- Imprisoned Hero
- Caged Beast
- Voyeur

First time through, JUST OBSERVE and VIBE--help her build, by sharing how intense it is for you. Be sure to communicate, whatever that means in your situation. You just want to be there as a witness, express to her the effect that she has on you, become somewhat a martyr (but not too much) to the power of her energy....

Afterward, have her untie you and go crazy with her--but DO NOT give any indication of caring whether or not she clymaxed from being with you. She ALREADY DID, regardless, and you were there.

Treat this as an escalation. Initiate it again at some point, with slight variation on the rules. Don't be restrained, but have her call for you to join at an agreed upon point... Finesse this.... again, go with however she's vibing. This is about HER, not you, because you're awesome, right?

Repeat this... worst case you end up having an insanely great time.

[L.A. Tripp]

Release the goal, and embrace the whole...

Simplest way to accelerate: ask her to show you.

If you want to ADD MASSIVE INTENSITY, have her RESTRAIN YOU FIRST--elbows loosely tied to a chair is good. No matter what happens, do not break your bonds--you're building trust, intimacy, and anticipation. You then take on the following archetypes:

- Imprisoned Hero
- Caged Beast
- Voyeur

First time through, JUST OBSERVE and VIBE--help her build, by sharing how intense it is for you. Be sure to communicate, whatever that means in your situation. You just want to be there as a witness, express to her the effect that she has on you, become somewhat a martyr (but not too much) to the power of her energy....

Afterward, have her untie you and go crazy with her--but DO NOT give any indication of caring whether or not she clymaxed from being with you. She ALREADY DID, regardless, and you were there.

Treat this as an escalation. Initiate it again at some point, with slight variation on the rules. Don't be restrained, but have her call for you to join at an agreed upon point... Finesse this.... again, go with however she's vibing. This is about HER, not you, because you're awesome, right?

Repeat this... worst case you end up having an insanely great time.

Nice post . . . unless this is a girl that is uncomfortable doing things to herself . . . or having a guy watch her do things to herself . . . and there are those out there.

[trancework]

Nice post . . . unless this is a girl that is uncomfortable doing things to herself . . . or having a guy watch her do things to herself . . . and there are those out there.

Excellent point... nuance is the key, and nuance is rooted in concepts of clouding, shade, opacity... You're responsible for successfully calibrating the nuance of the barrier as the key to a shared intimacy.... It's difficult to "watch" through a satin sheet in soft light... Or a phone, for that matter...

Simple magic? "Sacred Love" by the "Bad Brains"--How might a story about from "discovering" this song and sharing it's awesomeness be useful? ...to discuss the feelings that song evokes.... and how it captures in time the power to raise every hair on a body....

Archetypes evoked by this game:
- PRISONER
- CO-CONSPIRATOR
- SAVIOR

This song is 100% Raw Sex Magic.... 4 good & never evil...

[Original Sinner]

What are these archetypes people are talking about? I'm unfamiliar with this concept.

[L.A. Tripp]

trancework . . . you've got to bring your self down a bit to connect with your intended readers lol. If you want them to understand what you're talking about.

I want to re-assert my point though, to be clear. You can't force a girl to do stuff to herself, by herself, with someone watching. Every girl will not be comfortable with this right away. This in itself takes a comfort level to be already established with the girl. And, the original posters problem is that, at least partially, her comfort level is NOT established, at least not enough.

[trancework]

What are these archetypes people are talking about? I'm unfamiliar with this concept.

Similar to Canned Game... It's Canned Frame...

[trancework]

trancework . . . you've got to bring your self down a bit to connect with your intended readers lol. If you want them to understand what you're talking about.

I want to re-assert my point though, to be clear. You can't force a girl to do stuff to herself, by herself, with someone watching. Every girl will not be comfortable with this right away. This in itself takes a comfort level to be already established with the girl. And, the original posters problem is that, at least partially, her comfort level is NOT established, at least not enough.

Agreed 100%.... The point is to offer her the opportunity to lead YOU to temptation (if she chooses to)... Give her the opportunity to take control... If she's not comfortable, it's your job to keep the scene cool... per the point above, you gotta be cool with her not being cool and move on to something else, something chill.... Like a discussion of Wine Coolers vs. Flavored Malt Beverages, is there a difference, which is better--I dig Mojitos, what about you?

Bringing things down a level... Introduce the notion of her being comfortable releasing with you... Intense phone game is a great way to open that up... A discussion of the 'Bad Brains' song is an perfect segue gambit... Dude's in jail, talking to his woman who's visiting... they're all intense... that's kind of how you feel, right... But hey, what about Mojitos? I don't dig Zima... who thought that was a good idea??? (The idea here: fringe it with funny--and bail to funny if things don't synchronize. Notice this is FRINGE, NOT FRAME... Your fringe is your Plan B. You fall back to it if you need to deescalate. It's light, playful, and cool....)

The key here is men tend to go too visual... you have to work with MENTAL imagery here.... You don't want to be a gawker, you just want to present the opportunity for her to get comfortable including you as a participant in her ecstasy, if she so chooses.... whatever that means in your situation....

Peace.

[trancework]

So to be crystal clear as to what's being suggested:

1. Consider, initiating intimacy over the phone. Escalate or back off as required. You want to EVENTUALLY get to having her comfortable with climaxing with you on the line. Calibrate trust/intimacy: If that doesn't fly, be prepared to deescalate to something fun.

2. If that goes well, step it up to some form of home-game. Where you're in the room but there's still an air gap. Same as above applies to calibrating trust/intimacy. In this DONOT let yourself become a gawker. Propose having her "under the covers" where you can't see her. Keep the lights low. Have some a-game chill playing.

3. If that works out, escalate and tune again.

Key is keeping a slow hand here.... Inch away and let the vibe ebb and flow. If at any point the game doesn't seem solid, back off, change to something fun and reassess.

With the original reply, just give up on having some kind of "goal" and instead just rock an awesome time of shared personal growth and discovery with her. By taking this path you're set up to surprise yourselves and each other with the things you find and the territory that you explore...

Rock on solid...

[Original Sinner]

Similar to Canned Game... It's Canned Frame...

Is there a link to info on Canned Frame? I tried a search of the forums and a Google seach but came up with zip.

[trancework]

Is there a link to info on Canned Frame? I tried a search of the forums and a Google seach but came up with zip.

Nope... was just innovating.... So guess that makes this thread the resource for "Canned Frame"....

The concept is pretty simple. A "routine" that is practiced to get a certain response, i.e. opener, is "Canned Game"... Think jealous girlfriend... or kiss gambit... it's a "PATTERN", when a PUA hears this, she or he instantly knows the deal--no explantion needed....

Archetypes are how characters in literature are organized. E.g.
- Are you the hero (Superman, Han Solo, Rocky)?
- Are you the villain (Lex Luthor, Original Terminator, Ivan Drago)?
- Are you the lover (Romeo, Can't by me love guy, Javier Bardem's character from Vicky Cristina Barcelona see this movie if you've not alreay)?
- Are you the fool (most Steve Carell, most Adam Sandler, most Jim Carrey)?
- Are you the seeker (Nick Cage in National Treasure, Tom Hanks in Da Vinci)?
... and the list goes on and on....

If, as a pattern that can be used repeatably with desired results, you can correlate the context of what you're doing (especially if you're "doing" it in a story) to the frame effect it produces (how you'll most likely be perceived) then that is "Canned Frame". It's kind of a mashup of two existing concepts: Robert Greene in The Art of Seduction throws archetypes around.... MM/PUA throws around the concept of Frames and Frame Control. The two combined:

Canned Frame: By immediatly and predictably aligning your avatar with a different archetype and taking the vibe in that direction using standard techniques, e.g. DHV, IOI, IOD, stories, routines you can instantly and indirectly reset the frame.

Example using Hero Canned Frame: Your wing tells the story of how you ran into a burning barn to set the horses free and barely escaped before the roof collapsed.

Instantly the frame is changed--conversation moves in that direction. YOU have it in pocket and let it fly at the opportune momement. That's Canned Frame.

[farishtaa]

good questions / comments.
However, there's a simple rule to follow at all times.
The minute u start to please the other, you'll always be the follower and she/he the leader.
It's best to have "her" do things for you and to try to please you. If you want her to stay with you in the long run, let "her" invest her time, energy, and emotions into you rather than the other way around.
Otherwise, sooner or later, you'd be the one to have a lot invested and you'll cling on her and she'll be bored and looking for fun elsewhere.
happy datin ! ;)

[L.A. Tripp]

Wow.

When it comes to the area of sex and seduction, the rules change a bit.

Yes, the girl needs to invest in you . . . but that comes BEFORE sex. She has to invest just to get to the sex. When you get to the sex, the MAN needs to give the girl an experience like she's never had before. You do that, and she WILL invest even MORE into you.

It's like this, you give her something, an experience, like she's never had with another guy, when you are picking her up to begin with. That's what attracts her. Then, you give her something, an experience, like she's never had with another guy, when you're having sex with her, and she won't want to let you go. Make sense now? LOL.

farishtaa, that will lead to much more great, enjoyable sex, than the other way around ;)

Sex is really all about pleasure, truly. You please the woman and she will want to please you, if she's worth having sex with. By pleasing her, you ARE being the leader.

[Hawkeye]

I agree there's nothing AFC about wanting to please her in bed and her knowing about it.


Wow.

When it comes to the area of sex and seduction, the rules change a bit.

Yes, the girl needs to invest in you . . . but that comes BEFORE sex. She has to invest just to get to the sex. When you get to the sex, the MAN needs to give the girl an experience like she's never had before. You do that, and she WILL invest even MORE into you.

It's like this, you give her something, an experience, like she's never had with another guy, when you are picking her up to begin with. That's what attracts her. Then, you give her something, an experience, like she's never had with another guy, when you're having sex with her, and she won't want to let you go. Make sense now? LOL.

farishtaa, that will lead to much more great, enjoyable sex, than the other way around ;)

Sex is really all about pleasure, truly. You please the woman and she will want to please you, if she's worth having sex with. By pleasing her, you ARE being the leader.

[HereticFNG]

How old is she? For many women, it is physiologically impossible to orgasm until thier late twenties to mid thirties. In which case all you can really do keep trying and enjoy the ride. Just try not to look at it like a challenge or an affront to your masculinity, otherwise you're just beating you head against a vag, and nobody wants to do that (unless you're kinky like that). Remember, even if she's not orgasming, she's probibly still having fun, otherwise she'd stop trying altogether.

[PatHIverson]

Oral has never failed.

My girlfriend said the same thing. I think they're just trying to get us poor guys to do more.

[L.A. Tripp]

Oral has never failed.

My girlfriend said the same thing. I think they're just trying to get us poor guys to do more.

Nah, they just want to be fully satisfied, just as us guys want the same thing.

Can't actually say oral has never failed . . . as a sweeping statement . . . for every woman, across the board ;)

[The Wild One]

The reason a girl will tend to not climax are the result of some very simple things.

1) Lack of comfort sexually with you and lack of trust.

The best way to battle this is to not make sex something that is overly important. All the while making her feel sexy, and validated physically. You need to do this subtly and let her come into high passionalty aroused states. Making sex a routine, or putting it in to many specified precursors without taking into consideration all the physicological connections that forge a good orgasm is a fatal mistake many men make. The force the sex before she is properly aroused not realizing the way you do it is to flip that script. You want her so attracted she is ready to climax via the simplest touch. Understanding how to do this takes a personal understanding within yourself threw experience overtime about women, and the type of women you work best with.

2) Bad Body or Discomfort with your body.

One thing that is very important that can be overlooked in the community for the desire specifically to flater overweight mens laziness is having a good body. Theirs not a girl in the world that doesn't want a man with a nice physique. Women want guys who are in good shape, and demonstrate comfort with themselves in their own sexuality. This is seen in taking leadership roles to initate sex properly, and dominatatly in a way see feels secure with you. Also all the while pumping up that hot and bothered feeling till it reaches supernova.

3) Same Boring Routine.

Guys that don't have passion over the long term with their girls will lose them. Lust is a fire and the same routine can really put a damper on everything if you don't recognize the changes over time she goes threw. You must learn how to be attentive in a way thats true. Many guys and girls get comfortable in sexual routines with partners over time making the relationship really boring. Boring sex over time will cause a girl to lose the emotional high that draws out her best sexual satisfaction. You've got to be the sexual spartan she's looking for that rock of pleasure she knows doesn't waver. Most men waver.. Learn to endure in all ways sexually, and emotionally with her and you will please her always.

The best advice I can give you is to enjoy sex with her, and listen to your base instincts. They know how to hit home... Recognize if she's crazy sexually aroused or faking it.. Most likely the last guys she was just being nice, and giving it up to be liked rather than really dripping wet hyped to the core about having them inside her. If sex is a chore for her you're going to be putting in allot of work so.. Make her chase you to the bedroom, and dominate her needs.

[PatHIverson]

Nah, they just want to be fully satisfied, just as us guys want the same thing.

Can't actually say oral has never failed . . . as a sweeping statement . . . for every woman, across the board ;)

I wouldn't go oral on every one of them, but the ones I have I wouldn't stop until...well you know...

[Wolfbreath]

If you do take the approach of watching her get herself off, try to realize her natural timing. Men and women have timing and 'rythme' to their stroking and such and so forth, if you pay attention while you're getting yourself off you can notice it pretty quick. It's the same with her, she's got a rythme to her strokes, clenches, contractions, etc.
There's probably resources on the net. I did have this problem with a GF a while back, she couldn't have them with me, but could alone. I did what I explained above, but also, what the other guys have been explaining about comfort. That's a huuuuge part also.

[wongk222]

have you ever tried quick fingers?

[RAMM]

I make sex about her cumming, not myself. This way you can have her cum over ten times and squirt long before you orgasm yourself. If I wanted to cum I'd masturbate.. I am having sex because I want her to enjoy the best sex of her life, to the extent of my skill. Focus is everything. If you focus on yourself, it's gonna suck for her. If you focus on her.. you may not orgasm at all.. or you can focus on both, on the empathy and relationship..
try that one..

[L.A. Tripp]

I make sex about her cumming, not myself. This way you can have her cum over ten times and squirt long before you orgasm yourself. If I wanted to cum I'd masturbate.. I am having sex because I want her to enjoy the best sex of her life, to the extent of my skill. Focus is everything. If you focus on yourself, it's gonna suck for her. If you focus on her.. you may not orgasm at all.. or you can focus on both, on the empathy and relationship..
try that one..

Great perspective. Makes the overall experience much better for both of you.

[theshyboy]

Hi, I have a similar problem with my girlfriend of a year.

When we have sex I find it very difficult to make her cum.

Usually when we have sex I will arouse her. I try my best to turn her on but she always wants to accelerate to the real thing fast. Otherwise she gets bored.

So I'll do a lot of passinate kissing, escilate to touching her body and eventually I'll touch her brests and nipples using different types of touch to really turn her on. At this point she's usually pretty desperate for me to touch her vagina. I'll usually touch there before I move down and lick.

This is where is gets complicated and in some ways gets worse.

I will lick her clit, and then use my fingers to stroke inside her. But she sees this as an arousal technique. She will insist on me to start having sex with her, so that she can touch herself while we are having sex. It can take quite a long time for her to cum, and usually I spend the time moving in and out at various speeds, licking her nipples.

She says that she enjoy the feeling on me inside her. We were discussing sex and she has been saying that she dislikes how long it takes her to orgasm. I really want to be able to get her off myself, and after that I feel that it will be easier to work towards doing it differently.

I have tried lots of things before of course. I have read lots of books and tried the g spot technique, deep spot etc all to no avail althou the only technique that has got her close it if I rub her clit in a similar way to how she does it to herself. Even then she needs to do it to herself to finish.

We spoke about it and she says that she has only been able to cum with two guy before (where the guys make her cum without touching her). She said that the first time was when the guy licked her out and the second time was when she was on top and she was able to rub her clit against her body. As you can imagine this made me feel pretty insecure :(

So here's what I feel has happened. I believe that through masterbating she has trained herself to believe that she can only cum if she touches herself. (A similar thing happened when she first bought a vibrator where suddenly everytime we were having sex she was using he vibrator to get herself off while I was inside her. When is suggested not usinbg it her response was i"I need it"). An orgasm is very important. If I bring her close she will often take over and use her fingers almost as if she doesn't want to waste the chance, rather then thinking oh well, that felt nice.

Whenever I try g spot fingering techniques or deep spot techniques she says that it doesn't feel bad but not especially nice. Its almost like her vagina doesn work (obviously I would never say that to her). I know that I am doing these technique correctly because the have worked on other girls. I think that this may be because she is so focused on stimulating her clit that she can't be bothered to try and feel anything else and has conditioned herself to not feel anthing in her vagina.

I also feel like she isn't fully getting into the moment ad she is concentrating on having to orgasm. For example she was saying how random thought pop into her head when she is trying to cum that distract her- in my mind you shouldn't need to concentrate, it should happen.

Now I can relate to this. There was a point when I would have to think of porn to get myself aroused enough tyo cum with a girl (but this was more due to me being nervous and unable to relax about the situation).

So I feel like this is a psycological problem that I want to try and fix. I have tried to subtly guide her towards me making her cum and her having a vaginal orgasm rather then a clit orgasm but it hasn't worked, so we are goin to talk about it and in a fun relaxed way try and work it out together. I know that so much about sex is in the mind and I want to unlock hers. Once she feels relaxed enough with me to let her orgasm I am sure that our sex will drastically improve and we will b able to do things very differently.

The purpose of this message is to help me understand the issue a bit better, and find some tips to solve this. I have read a lot about different techniques, but I don't even know what I. Dealing with. Is this a case where she is uncomfortable with me on some level? Or is this a case of her mastabating too much. Should I but her a dildo so that she can play with herself and awaken her vagina.???

Any advise would be amazing

[L.A. Tripp]

theshyboy, your g/f has to be comfortable with herself and with you. I don't know if you've seen the White Tiger Tantra, but on those vids, Steve P talks about how women have come to him and literally thought they were broken, their pussy was broken. Yes, there is a psychological part of all this too.

Your g/f needs to quit rushing things for starters. She needs to not be so afraid she'll lose her "chance" when she's close. That's going to be the first big obstacle, to get her to relax about herself. Then you need to "awaken her pussy." All of her nerve endings inside, once they are "awakened", she will notice a HUGE difference. She'll feel a lot more and cum a lot more. There's a way that Steve shows you how to do this using a lot of oil and your fingers, but your g/f would be wanting you to rush through to fast, right now. She has to learn to relax.

I would suggest you convince her to be willing to "experiment" with you a few times WITHOUT even worrying about having her own orgasm. Just to relax and focus on what you're doing to her, on the pleasure you're wanting to give her. This sounds like it will be a monumental task to get her to agree to this.

It's likely not to change her in one night either. Prepare her mentally for that.

And yes, part of this IS her comfort level with you as well. It's her comfort level with her own body and with you. The guys that got her to cum without even touching her, her mind was more open to that with them. You do need to unlock her mind. Why is she holding part of herself back with you? You need to figure that out.

[diablo]

if a girl doesn't cum it's usually because she can't cum alone.

if you can't make yourself cum, HOW the FUCK am I SUPPOSED TO DO IT?

[L.A. Tripp]

if a girl doesn't cum it's usually because she can't cum alone.

if you can't make yourself cum, HOW the FUCK am I SUPPOSED TO DO IT?

By helping her feel comfortable with you.

[RAMM]

Any advise would be amazing

What the guys are saying is great, but I think, from what you describe, you do know what to do and how to do it, more or less.
As Morpheus told Neo:
"Good! Adaptation, improvisation.. but your weakness is not your technique."

Your girlfriend is dominating in your relationship. Sorry to tell you but that's what it looks like. It looks like she's a whiny prick and you're emotionally submissive in relating to her.
With all respect bro, pin her the fuck down, tell her to shut up, relax and enjoy it your way. Use some force if necessary, a bit of.. soft bondage/sadism. Spank her a bit.. limit her movement, bite her, put a hand on her neck, gently, tease her in every way, play with her in a dominating way, do not make excuses. If she calls the cops than you misunderstood me. She needs to get back to where she belongs, and that is not a domineering position. At least not in bed. Women are turned on sexually by power, not by being pleased by someone they perceive as weaker. Hope this helps man.

[L.A. Tripp]

What the guys are saying is great, but I think, from what you describe, you do know what to do and how to do it, more or less.
As Morpheus told Neo:
"Good! Adaptation, improvisation.. but your weakness is not your technique."

Your girlfriend is dominating in your relationship. Sorry to tell you but that's what it looks like. It looks like she's a whiny prick and you're emotionally submissive in relating to her.
With all respect bro, pin her the fuck down, tell her to shut up, relax and enjoy it your way. Use some force if necessary, a bit of.. soft bondage/sadism. Spank her a bit.. limit her movement, bite her, put a hand on her neck, gently, tease her in every way, play with her in a dominating way, do not make excuses. If she calls the cops than you misunderstood me. She needs to get back to where she belongs, and that is not a domineering position. At least not in bed. Women are turned on sexually by power, not by being pleased by someone they perceive as weaker. Hope this helps man.

While you have a point that he should be in charge and lead her . . . I personally believe that him going even slightly as far as what you describe here could be a mistake with this girl. Now, obviously I don't know her, but I do know my own personal experience.

I've been with girls (most I've been with actually) who've NOT been able to orgasm with MOST guys they've been with. One of these girls in fact had only had literally a few orgasms in her life and was in her mid 20's. She literally would orgasm once with each guy she slept with, and that's if it went well. And that's only because the orgasm had built up inside her before she got with a new guy so the release was easier to come. She had a VERY hard time coming to an orgasm.

The point is, she absolutely LOVED the hard playing, bondage, biting, the rough play. She ate it up. She couldn't get enough of it. When I'd literally throw her down on the bed and go from there she ate it up and couldn't stop thinking about it for days. She absolutely craved more of it.

HOWEVER, she did not ORGASM from that. She orgasmed from the additional comfort that I built and from the "gentler" stuff. The first time she came with me she was laying on the edge of the bed, legs hanging off, just enjoying the moment. Totally into me, just enjoying the moment. She was elated when her juices ran down. After that, we brought her to orgasms many more times. She wasn't used to having multiple orgasms with one guy. So, the "softer" or "gentler" stuff definitely has it's place.

[RAMM]

I know what you mean.
I wanna stress that whatever I said was meant to be done in a playful way. And the SM/bondage thing was only a plus, the thing that I do consider important, bondage aside, was for him to take charge. If the girl is leading yet she apparently has no idea where she wants to lead to(since she doesn't orgasm), it means he must take charge, and lead her to blissful orgasms.

now I don't know if the girls you're talking about had had so few orgasms only because of how they are or if because they had only met lame guys their whole lives.

I think they can be made to orgasm pretty much just the same once they get over their emotional blockages.. and that too is our job, sometimes.. unfortunately..

[L.A. Tripp]

Both actually. How they are (emotional blockages, etc.) and lame guys.

And yes, it is our job to help them get past their emotional blockages. Which is one reason I personally advocate SOOOOOOO heavily that we, as PUA's, should NOT damage the girl by being with her. I know sometimes this is impossible, but we should strive to NEVER damage the girl. It leads to more emotional baggage she carries around. And, it's the problem we encountered with her to begin with . . . so in the end, we just made things worse.

[Stier]

help them get past their emotional blockages.

Best way to do so?

[L.A. Tripp]

Stier, by building comfort, digging deep, building trust, and finding out what their emotional blockages are, to begin with. Then by making sure they know you won't do that to them . . . but if you DO do that to them . . . you end up being the world's biggest jerk (because you are) and have made things 10 times worse.

[Stier]

Edited.

Deleted.

[L.A. Tripp]

Many girls (and guys) feel more comfortable behind a screen talking, rather than in person. This means she needs a DEEP level of comfort AND trust. The fact that IS writing that she thinks about you and misses you DOES mean she likes you, even if she doesn't say those exact words. She's simply not ready to open up to you yet because you haven't reached that far down in her. And, if you don't plan on building something deep and long term with her, I wouldn't suggest it.

It could be a lot of things. Could be upbringing, past relationships, some kind of abuse or lacking love, no way to know at this point.

[Stier]

Edited.

Deleted.

[L.A. Tripp]

Could be low self-esteem. Is it something YOU'RE willing to deal with? Or to possibly help her get past?

Not everyone is an "out front" type of person. With today's technology some people are more "sociable" than they used to be because it's more comfortable now.

[J-steel]

its not about just what happens during sex, most of it for a women is about foreplay, because it makes them feel comfortable and relax, women who are not comfortable don't orgasm ... kiss her neck every time you remove clothing and she will feel the effect and then go down on her for at least 10 mins, she will ask you to just fuck her already but dont .... you need to TEASE... finally just as it looks like shes about to explode enter.

the best way to go down on her is to use the coarse bit of the top of your tongue on the clit, you will be able to feel a pee size ball of nerves.


hope that helps, and respect for caring about her needs, most guys dont

[taxtime]

Wow, just gotta remark on how misinformed some of you poor guys are about women! :(

I feel like giving pointers, but I don't even know where to start..

[L.A. Tripp]

taxtime . . . yes, most of the guys on a forum like this are wrong about what women want and need . . . why else are they HERE? lol, DUH?

You don't feel like giving pointers . . . or don't know how?

[J-steel]

look a lot of people here get the girls but dont know what to do after, look up jason Julius, he is a famous sexologist and has a lot of knowledge ... i took a course of his and i have improved... a lot!

[Blondie]

I got the same problem, I've been close to it few times. Thanks for the all advices, I'll try them!

[Shark_Bait]

So from your guys' experience, is this whole hype over clitoral stimulation way over heightened? I've been doing a lot of reading, and there's such an array of ideas as to how to set a women off. I've made girls orgasm who don't have a mental block strictly from penetrating them. But a lot of these forms of literature (books, women's opinions on other forums) never seem to talk about that emotional connection... the breaking down of barriers.

I honestly feel a little disappointing if my dick is really that inferior to my tongue and fingers, because that removes a level of my enjoyment from the equation. Don't get me wrong I love to watch women writhe and twitch once they genuinely orgasm, but if there's no need for my male member that might strike my inner game for a while before I get over the fact.

Or is it truly the level of comfort that is in the firm opposition for the orgasm with these girls who have trouble over coming those barriers? I really don't think as of right now that girls can and only orgasm more intensely from clitoral stimulation, and that it is actually just a mental barrier that is in the way. I made my girl orgasm for the first time last night by coaxing her away from her barriers, but she still had clitoral stimulation. So I have only a small amount of experience regarding this.

[RAMM]

Nice post Shark_Bait. Rest assured, women will still want a dick over a tongue, for many reasons. Solution to your problem is just what you said, work on the connection. I recommend this article
http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/bonding_magic

Bonding will make you last longer, all-nighters, then you should also focus on technique.
What if you had a screen that shows exactly the level of pleasure she feels as you touch around, so you can see what combinations, speeds, pressures, spots stimulate her more? You could give her an amazing long series of orgasms right away. Well, such a "screen" exists, it's her breath. Listen to it and try to correlate her breath to what you do at all times.. just imagine you're fucking her breath and the goal is for her to scream. (no punching allowed)

hope this helps :)

[Shark_Bait]

Thanks Ramm! goldmine of information... it's going to take some time to read all the articles!

[Strength]

Mystery once said,'' In a girl's perception, every dick is the same. Some dicks are the special... and those are dicks from high value males.''