Waka
08-11-2007, 12:14 PM
Sorry if there's any typing errors. German keyboards are crafted from lame and fail. You have to hold shift to use an apostrophe. I shit you not.
So yeah right now I'm in Germany.
I am living in a house with a slovakian, a slovenian, a mexican, two russians and a norwegian. Freaky shit. Before yesterday there was also an American girl, and she happens to be the subject of this FR.
Upon reaching the house where I am staying, laden with my suitcase, travel fatigue and naive enthusiasm for this beast of a language, I was introduced to an American girl calles M.
I didn't like her much. I mean shes pretty to look at but she was kind of bitchy, and didn't take much of a shine to my laid back, cool kid attitude. She did stuff like ask me questions, and if it took me longer than like half a second to answer she would call me on being 'lazy and slow'. She later admitted that she did it deliberately to make herself feel good, so yeah, I guess it wasn't much of a mistake on my part, although I'd like some input and opinions on that if at all possible.
The next morning I had quite the unpleasant surprise. Apparently she was the only person in the house who went to the same german school as I was supposed to, so I had the pleasure of her company alone.
So I told her I was gay. She seemed the type to think that every guy was after her, and I figured that if I told her I was gay, considering I wasn't attracted to her in the least and didn't even like her as a person, we could remove the sexual angle from the equation entirely, leaving us as two people who would try to get on.
We went to class together, we got lunch together, walked home together, everything. She started opening up and saying how awesome it was to have another English speaker to talk to, and how she was glad I came. I started opening up and told her about me. We became really close friends.
Soon we started skipping class just to go to starbucks together and talk. We went shopping, to the zoo, to fuck knows where else, and we just outrageously flirted and laughed the whole time. We became inseperable. It was awesome.
It reached it's peak yesterday.
We had both gone clubbing the night before with some other guys, except that I was too badly dressed to get in (lol I really need to fix that), but she'd already got in with everyone else, and after half heartedly waiting outside to see if she'd come back out, I went for the train. She later told me that she figured i'd just not wanted to go, and didn't think to check. So I got the last train back, about 1am, and missed my stop. No more trains for 4 hours. I was wandering through the middle of buttsfuck nowhere with no idea where to go. I eventually found my way to the house 5 hours later, at 7:15am, after waiting at a station found by pure luck for the last hour and a half. Es war die shlechten funf uhr mein leben :mad:. Apparently she reached the house at 6am, so she got fuck all sleep too.
We had to get up for school at 8:30am. She somehow felt personally responsible for what happened, and guilty for leaving me alone. I'm still not sure why, and I was going to tell her that basically it was entirely my own fault in every conceivable way, but then she started buying my lunch and train fare and stuff, so I thought 'fuck it' and started sponging.
She told me she was tired. I said I was too, and suggested we go home to sleep.
We got back to the house, and went to my room. We laid down and kind of held each other. She told me how amazing I am, and gave me 'the look'.
Now before I continue I should outline some relevant shit. I am not as useless at gaming as my field reports make me out to be. I have way more successes than failures, but this forum doesn't have enough 'wow this guy sucks harder than I do' stories, so I put them here to make people laugh, cheer them up, make them feel good, whatever. I enjoy writing stories that make me sound like an unlucky idiot, it's the only time I can use this kind of humour without DLVing myself when I shouldn't :p.
Recently I have been online gaming, that is to say mastering the art of meeting girls from the internets and working on my game in person that way. I have always been balls at approaching, and I avoid it if at all possible. I can sometimes be successful with cold approaching, but it's very hit and miss.
With online gaming you skip all that. I meet girls in person, usually alone, with little to no effort, and I outrageously flirt. Roughly 40% of the time the day ends with a kiss, as I can be flirty and charming if I feel comfortable in the situation. I know the look a girl gives you when your faces are close, and she wants to kiss. It's instinctive now I've experienced it so often.
This American girl who I was holding in my arms, on my bed, I am 85% sure wanted to kiss me.
I was going to kiss her when the dude inside my brain said 'you told her that you're gay you idiot. If you kiss her now, it will look like you were making shit up just to pick her up'. Probably insecurity, but nonetheless I bailed. I've heard of guys telling girls they're gay to get closer to them, and it always seems kind of sleazy to me. I didn't want her to have that impression of me.
Then when it didn't happen she moved so we were facing each other hugging, and she started slowly scratching the back of my neck. I don't know if any of you guys have experienced a girl doing that to you before, but it feels amazing. It literally gives you shivers down your spine, and I am not ashamed to say that it gave me a raging semi-boner. I figured she knew exactly what she was doing, as she smiled when I shivered.
By this time I was begging my brain to let me kiss her, but I just couldn't. It was a mental block. Eventually she stopped, and we fell asleep in each others arms, me feeling like an idiot.
Three hours later she left the house for the airport, from which she left for America. I live in England. I felt like I was living a fucking live version of 'lost in translation'. I always thought that movie blew ass, but now I guess I realise the meaning of it.
Before she left she told me that she really wants to see me again, and she starts saying that I can stay in her spare room in her house in America and shit, and that she'd love to come to England and stay with me. I don't Know how serious she is about that, but I hope she is. I really like her, and I'm not ashamed to say that I think she may be my one-itis.
A couple of questions:
Do you think she was attracted to me? Obviously you won't be able to give an accurate opinion as you weren't there, but I'd like some input and gut feelings, from what I told you.
Can girls become attracted to their guy friends, who they think are gay? Or is this just a myth, like England and South Dakota (kudos if you get the reference)?
Should I email her telling her that I'm not gay, for the reasons which I outlined at the beginning of this thread? Or would that creep her out/ruin shit? Is it even worth correcting it now?
To be completely honest I'm not even sure if I care whether I'm just a friend or not. I guess I just really liked being with her. I got on with her better than I've ever gotten on with anyone before. It's just my luck that as soon as I find a person who I like more than anyone before or since, she lives thousands of miles away.
Man this fucks me off. As sad as it sounds, I was devastated when she left, and actually cried, although obviously I hid it from everyone. I wish I'd met her in the last week. I have three weeks now where I'll be only too aware of the fact that she's not there, and I'm going to have to spend the time alone. Fuck. It's like she's dead. I haven't missed anyone this bad ever. I only really knew her in the last few days.
:(
Thanks for reading. I guess this isn't much of a Field Report, but I'd like some comments. I've been wanting to tell someone about this for ages, but all I have are people who speak English like indian taxi drivers.
So yeah right now I'm in Germany.
I am living in a house with a slovakian, a slovenian, a mexican, two russians and a norwegian. Freaky shit. Before yesterday there was also an American girl, and she happens to be the subject of this FR.
Upon reaching the house where I am staying, laden with my suitcase, travel fatigue and naive enthusiasm for this beast of a language, I was introduced to an American girl calles M.
I didn't like her much. I mean shes pretty to look at but she was kind of bitchy, and didn't take much of a shine to my laid back, cool kid attitude. She did stuff like ask me questions, and if it took me longer than like half a second to answer she would call me on being 'lazy and slow'. She later admitted that she did it deliberately to make herself feel good, so yeah, I guess it wasn't much of a mistake on my part, although I'd like some input and opinions on that if at all possible.
The next morning I had quite the unpleasant surprise. Apparently she was the only person in the house who went to the same german school as I was supposed to, so I had the pleasure of her company alone.
So I told her I was gay. She seemed the type to think that every guy was after her, and I figured that if I told her I was gay, considering I wasn't attracted to her in the least and didn't even like her as a person, we could remove the sexual angle from the equation entirely, leaving us as two people who would try to get on.
We went to class together, we got lunch together, walked home together, everything. She started opening up and saying how awesome it was to have another English speaker to talk to, and how she was glad I came. I started opening up and told her about me. We became really close friends.
Soon we started skipping class just to go to starbucks together and talk. We went shopping, to the zoo, to fuck knows where else, and we just outrageously flirted and laughed the whole time. We became inseperable. It was awesome.
It reached it's peak yesterday.
We had both gone clubbing the night before with some other guys, except that I was too badly dressed to get in (lol I really need to fix that), but she'd already got in with everyone else, and after half heartedly waiting outside to see if she'd come back out, I went for the train. She later told me that she figured i'd just not wanted to go, and didn't think to check. So I got the last train back, about 1am, and missed my stop. No more trains for 4 hours. I was wandering through the middle of buttsfuck nowhere with no idea where to go. I eventually found my way to the house 5 hours later, at 7:15am, after waiting at a station found by pure luck for the last hour and a half. Es war die shlechten funf uhr mein leben :mad:. Apparently she reached the house at 6am, so she got fuck all sleep too.
We had to get up for school at 8:30am. She somehow felt personally responsible for what happened, and guilty for leaving me alone. I'm still not sure why, and I was going to tell her that basically it was entirely my own fault in every conceivable way, but then she started buying my lunch and train fare and stuff, so I thought 'fuck it' and started sponging.
She told me she was tired. I said I was too, and suggested we go home to sleep.
We got back to the house, and went to my room. We laid down and kind of held each other. She told me how amazing I am, and gave me 'the look'.
Now before I continue I should outline some relevant shit. I am not as useless at gaming as my field reports make me out to be. I have way more successes than failures, but this forum doesn't have enough 'wow this guy sucks harder than I do' stories, so I put them here to make people laugh, cheer them up, make them feel good, whatever. I enjoy writing stories that make me sound like an unlucky idiot, it's the only time I can use this kind of humour without DLVing myself when I shouldn't :p.
Recently I have been online gaming, that is to say mastering the art of meeting girls from the internets and working on my game in person that way. I have always been balls at approaching, and I avoid it if at all possible. I can sometimes be successful with cold approaching, but it's very hit and miss.
With online gaming you skip all that. I meet girls in person, usually alone, with little to no effort, and I outrageously flirt. Roughly 40% of the time the day ends with a kiss, as I can be flirty and charming if I feel comfortable in the situation. I know the look a girl gives you when your faces are close, and she wants to kiss. It's instinctive now I've experienced it so often.
This American girl who I was holding in my arms, on my bed, I am 85% sure wanted to kiss me.
I was going to kiss her when the dude inside my brain said 'you told her that you're gay you idiot. If you kiss her now, it will look like you were making shit up just to pick her up'. Probably insecurity, but nonetheless I bailed. I've heard of guys telling girls they're gay to get closer to them, and it always seems kind of sleazy to me. I didn't want her to have that impression of me.
Then when it didn't happen she moved so we were facing each other hugging, and she started slowly scratching the back of my neck. I don't know if any of you guys have experienced a girl doing that to you before, but it feels amazing. It literally gives you shivers down your spine, and I am not ashamed to say that it gave me a raging semi-boner. I figured she knew exactly what she was doing, as she smiled when I shivered.
By this time I was begging my brain to let me kiss her, but I just couldn't. It was a mental block. Eventually she stopped, and we fell asleep in each others arms, me feeling like an idiot.
Three hours later she left the house for the airport, from which she left for America. I live in England. I felt like I was living a fucking live version of 'lost in translation'. I always thought that movie blew ass, but now I guess I realise the meaning of it.
Before she left she told me that she really wants to see me again, and she starts saying that I can stay in her spare room in her house in America and shit, and that she'd love to come to England and stay with me. I don't Know how serious she is about that, but I hope she is. I really like her, and I'm not ashamed to say that I think she may be my one-itis.
A couple of questions:
Do you think she was attracted to me? Obviously you won't be able to give an accurate opinion as you weren't there, but I'd like some input and gut feelings, from what I told you.
Can girls become attracted to their guy friends, who they think are gay? Or is this just a myth, like England and South Dakota (kudos if you get the reference)?
Should I email her telling her that I'm not gay, for the reasons which I outlined at the beginning of this thread? Or would that creep her out/ruin shit? Is it even worth correcting it now?
To be completely honest I'm not even sure if I care whether I'm just a friend or not. I guess I just really liked being with her. I got on with her better than I've ever gotten on with anyone before. It's just my luck that as soon as I find a person who I like more than anyone before or since, she lives thousands of miles away.
Man this fucks me off. As sad as it sounds, I was devastated when she left, and actually cried, although obviously I hid it from everyone. I wish I'd met her in the last week. I have three weeks now where I'll be only too aware of the fact that she's not there, and I'm going to have to spend the time alone. Fuck. It's like she's dead. I haven't missed anyone this bad ever. I only really knew her in the last few days.
:(
Thanks for reading. I guess this isn't much of a Field Report, but I'd like some comments. I've been wanting to tell someone about this for ages, but all I have are people who speak English like indian taxi drivers.