Overcoming her weak objection: She is 'too young' and 'kind of seeing someone'

[Saint Colbert]

I met this cute girl who works at a department store. She helped me pick out shoes. We flirted and I got her phone number. I texted her that night to plan a get together for today.

So anyway, she told me last night she had 'bad news'. She says 'I have a feeling I'm a little young for you' and says she is 'kind of seeing someone right now'.

I decided to just insist she meet me at Starbucks at 2 pm. Sure enough she didn't show up.

Any advice on how I could have done that better?

[Treasure]

First question: How old are you, and how old is she? (Well, you're probably over 30, right?:)

Next: When you think of how things might have turned out with this girl (if positive), did you want to (a) date her as a potential girlfriend, or (b) bang her brains out and launch a "fun buddy" relationship with her?

Your biggest mistake here was the "insist" part -- pressuring her to join you. Respect her feelings, whatever their origin. Never try to pressure a woman into connecting with you, especially this early in your journey in game.

She gave you 2 IODs: the age objection, and the BF (sort-of) objection. Either she's not into you and she's looking for a polite way to turn you down (double-barreled, yet), or she's into you but either afraid (if there's an age gap) or on the fence because she's getting involved with this other guy (if he even exists -- less likely because of the age objection). There could be a million other reasons as well.

The age gap will give us more information, and your goals (question #2 above) may point the way toward a solution for the future.

Looking forward to your input, as I have to wrestle with this kind of stuff every day, although they rarely come out and say it in words.

-Steve

PS - Appreciate the nod from the other thread (talking to hottest girls vs. anybody) -- my pleasure, and it looks like you've adapted and made your own approach work for you. You're evolving, and guess what? You found your own course through the maze of social interactions. Good going.

[Treasure]

Forgot to mention: Hired guns are tough. Their IOIs can be to advance the sale. Just because you got the phone number doesn't mean it's on. That's not to say it never happens -- it does, and often enough -- but hired gun game is a special area that has its own rules. Whatever caveats you get in regular game, at least double it in hired gun game.

The real solution, at this point: sarge, sarge, and sarge some more. In the words of Mystery and/or Lovedrop, "The field will give you the answers that you seek. Go, and be in the field, and listen to your intuition there. Over time you will calibrate." Very biblical, and apropos. There's virtually no other way. Run a thousand sets and you'll begin to solve this problem on your own.

[Saint Colbert]

Much respek Treasure,

I just accidentally deleted my whole damn post. This one will be shorter. Damn.

You made a great point, that she may very well have been politely trying to turn me down and that the 2 objections were IOD's. I just saw it all as playful flirting to test my resolve and manhood

I am 30 and she is around 20 or so. I look really young to myself, but lately people have been guessing my age at 27 or so. Yea, I plan on doing the 2000 appraoches the gurus recommend. In field knowledge is key. I say the sh#t on the forum that is on the top of my head, get the feedback, take it to heart and am honing my intuition and instincts. I can't remember all the lines and techniques in the field.

But so get this. I did contact her after she stood me up. I even sarged girls at the coffee shop, so the time was not wasted :). She had told me the night before that "Jim would kill her" if she showed up for the meeting. So I asked her for clarification. I knew she wanted to come, and I figured her flimsy relationship with Jim actually did keep her away (because of fear of him). Turns out the guy is a lot older than her and a controlling and possessive guy. We chatted a bit more and it turns out she actually likes this psycho and can't see the what a sort of catastrophic relationship this is with Jim. I bid her farewell and made a clear mental note that there are very messed up women out there who are actually dangerous. This girl obviously loves unhealthy guys. Would have never worked.

So now I know what to screen for in the future. She seemed like a sexy, flirty, healthy girl. But no. This girl was a catastrophy waiting to happen. She did us both a favor for not showing up.

[Rodehard]

Any advice on how I could have done that better?

I have to respectfully disagree with the others here. I am 45 and regularly date 20 somethings. Without knowing more about your conversations with her I cannot give you any advise. I tend to be more in command than it sounds like you are. When a woman asks me how old I am I answer "how old do you think I am?" She normally answers about 10 years younger than I am, to which I reply. "Dang you are good at this game, what can we play next." I never lie, but I don't take their shit tests either.

[Matrx]

Hey Saint,

It really has nothing to do with you being "too old"
Your game was flawed at some point. My guess is that she wasnt attracted to you. She was most likely being friendly and trying to warm you up to get you a pair of shoes.

Her job is to sell shoes, and she was probably just doing her job.
Anyway I use to run game at shoe carnival and I'll give you my exact opener and transitions I used to hook a couple fish.....

open: Hey, im looking for a pair of shoes for my girlfriend. I want something that says I like you but I dont love you....

Her: (giggles) well these would work.

You: oh no, those are gross. You're trying to get me in trouble aren't you?

Her: (gigles) no, I really like those!

at this point you've got the C+F dynamic going on you're really pumping her state. Just conitinue with that and you'll be fine.

-Matrix

[maxtall]

Bro,

1. You probably bought into her fake ioi's.

That's her job. To lead guys on with fake ioi's. You did the right thing by text closing.

It's possible you jacked up your text game. But I've found hired guns, even the girls are clothing stores, are really, really good at leading guys on.

2. Turn her into a wing if you can.

3. Just keep on sarging.

Get so many sets in the works that it doesn't matter what blows out.

Maxtall

[Saint Colbert]

Matrx,

I like the interaction you presented. Seems like a cool thing. I don't know what C+F Dynamic is.

Maxtall,

Yea. Right now I am going to try to turn every girl into a wing that I can. I want to surround myself with women.

[kingkongioi]

the minute she iod you you should've iod back and hit her with with ljbf. saying that changes the way she thinks and meeting you all the sudden seems harmless. plus if she's young she more likely to fall for that.

[farishtaa]

Instead of waiting up on her and posting about how to get her, you should invest that time to go after others. It's a numbers game. Simply put. Try as many as you can and soon enough you'll find one who is interested in "you" rather than "you" interested in her.
She'll be the one to be. just keep trying and trying. that's all :)

[HUBBSTER]

I am 30 and she is around 20 or so. I look really young to myself, but lately people have been guessing my age at 27 or so. .

Early 20s to 30 is not that big an age difference

I'm mid 40s & I usually date 25-35

1 problem w that age group is that its prime for biological clock ticking whereas women over 35 thats less of an issue but Cougars tend to be more controlling although they give fantastic BJs :D

I recently discovered these guys http://agelessattraction.com

1 interesting thing they say is that women need to admire older men for qualities that younger guys dont possess

[Czech]

Every boy learns that AGE has VALUE when he sees his junior high crush dating a high schooler.