Maverick
01-20-2007, 10:32 AM
I hate this weather, It's -20c here. I might as well be sitting in an igloo w/ my laptop plugged into a polar bear. All I can think about is the Under21Convention in Florida this June where I'll have two hb10's and Sovereign sitting on my lap to keep me warm. That being said... on with the topic.
It's been far too long since i've made a genuine effort to post something new. However i've gotten alot of questions lately regarding conversation. So i'm working on a new series that deals directly with how to get people engaged and keep their attention. This isn't only applicable to game, but everyday life as well.
If i had a quarter for every time I couldn't think of something to say, when i first started this i'd be a millionaire. I actually stumbled upon this by mistake at one of our workshops when a student of ours kept stalling and wasn't sure where to go from an introduction and light rapport building.
We sat down together and started telling each other stories about bombing and different wild thigns we've done in clubs. Then it hit me... what i'm doing with him, is what he could be doing to the girl! Speaking in statement form naturally builds raport because it's what we do with people we're already comfortable with.
Pay close attention to how you speak next time you're talking to somebody you're comfortable with. You rarely speak in question form. 90% of the conversation is storytelling. You're not digging for information because you already have it, you're also comfortable because you don't feel the need to be validated by this person - they already like you!
Now how can we automatically jump into statement form with a stranger in a social setting without it appearing awkward. You could randomly go up to a girl in a bar, and after your opener start telling her about the great movie you saw last night. But why should she care? You'll get shut out.
So, you still need to follow the logical transition from opening to building attraction, but after that point you can introduce "The Statement Game".
Isolate the girl.
_________
"Hey, remember that game 20 questions? My buddy came up with a variation of that the other day as part of a psych study. I'm gonna teach you something cool. Ever notice how people who aren't comfortable with each other speak in question form, but people who are comfortable with each other speak in statement form?"
*Note the subtleties? You ARE speaking in statement form, therefore you must be comfortable with each other*
"So he came up with this game. It's called the statement game. It's a bit of a challenge though. You have to be a bit of a story teller. In the game, we go back and forth telling interesting facts or stories about ourselves. Then, you try and "one up" me. We'll see who gets the farthest. I'll go first."
________
The nice thing about the game is that it employs alot of very subtle comfort building strategies without appearing try hard. Also, you don't need to worry about keeping track of conversational threads because after about 2 rounds you'll be carrying on a natural conversation anyway. You've also just found a way of DHV'ing again and again and again without appearing like you're bragging. The conversation will flow naturally and you'll build up rapport faster than you can possibly imagine.
Next topic: Using Void theory and Anchoring
Cheers.
- Maverick
www.lifestyleimaging.net
It's been far too long since i've made a genuine effort to post something new. However i've gotten alot of questions lately regarding conversation. So i'm working on a new series that deals directly with how to get people engaged and keep their attention. This isn't only applicable to game, but everyday life as well.
If i had a quarter for every time I couldn't think of something to say, when i first started this i'd be a millionaire. I actually stumbled upon this by mistake at one of our workshops when a student of ours kept stalling and wasn't sure where to go from an introduction and light rapport building.
We sat down together and started telling each other stories about bombing and different wild thigns we've done in clubs. Then it hit me... what i'm doing with him, is what he could be doing to the girl! Speaking in statement form naturally builds raport because it's what we do with people we're already comfortable with.
Pay close attention to how you speak next time you're talking to somebody you're comfortable with. You rarely speak in question form. 90% of the conversation is storytelling. You're not digging for information because you already have it, you're also comfortable because you don't feel the need to be validated by this person - they already like you!
Now how can we automatically jump into statement form with a stranger in a social setting without it appearing awkward. You could randomly go up to a girl in a bar, and after your opener start telling her about the great movie you saw last night. But why should she care? You'll get shut out.
So, you still need to follow the logical transition from opening to building attraction, but after that point you can introduce "The Statement Game".
Isolate the girl.
_________
"Hey, remember that game 20 questions? My buddy came up with a variation of that the other day as part of a psych study. I'm gonna teach you something cool. Ever notice how people who aren't comfortable with each other speak in question form, but people who are comfortable with each other speak in statement form?"
*Note the subtleties? You ARE speaking in statement form, therefore you must be comfortable with each other*
"So he came up with this game. It's called the statement game. It's a bit of a challenge though. You have to be a bit of a story teller. In the game, we go back and forth telling interesting facts or stories about ourselves. Then, you try and "one up" me. We'll see who gets the farthest. I'll go first."
________
The nice thing about the game is that it employs alot of very subtle comfort building strategies without appearing try hard. Also, you don't need to worry about keeping track of conversational threads because after about 2 rounds you'll be carrying on a natural conversation anyway. You've also just found a way of DHV'ing again and again and again without appearing like you're bragging. The conversation will flow naturally and you'll build up rapport faster than you can possibly imagine.
Next topic: Using Void theory and Anchoring
Cheers.
- Maverick
www.lifestyleimaging.net