The Magic Man
07-12-2007, 03:15 PM
Going along with my recent post regarding best banter lines and their associated frames, let’s compile a list of witty responses to common questions a girl will ask in a bar… the “what do you do, where are you from” questions.
Like most non-naturals, I can rarely come up with a good banter line off the top of my head for something a girl says, so memorizing these has helped A TON. Feel free to add more, but make sure to include what the line is in response to (whether it’s something a girl says or does).
Examples: (with credit given to a variety of different sources)
Her: “How old are you?”
You: “15. My fake is amazing.”
You: “57. I age really well.”
Her: “I have a boyfriend”
You: “Oh really? So do I. I bet mine’s cuter.”
Her: “There are a lot of cute guys here.”
You: “Yeah I’d fuck ‘em.”
Her: “I need a drink”
You: “Oh so do I, you should get me one too then”
Her: “You’re not drinking anything tonight?”
You: “No, girls take advantage of me when I drink.”
If she buys you a drink:
You: “Did you put roofies in my drink?”
You: “Are you trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?”
Her: “What do you do?”
You: “I’m a Glorified bum”
Her: “What do you ultimately want to do?”
You: “Be a stay at home husband. So you better be smart.”
Her: “Where are you from?”
You: “Obviously not the trailer park that you’re from” [only if she’s a 9 or 10 and you already have some attraction]
You: “McDonalds. I just got off work.”
You: “Santa Monica, but you can’t come home with me. I’m not that easy.”
Her: “I like your shirt/pants”
You: “Thank you. But just because you like my shirt/pants doesn’t mean they’re coming off.”
Her: “What nationality are you?”
You: “Russian [or whatever you are], but sorry my mom only lets me dates other Russians” (she might respond “I am a quarter Russian!” to which you could then get into the boyfriend/girlfriend frame and say “Oh we’re perfect for each other” then to the other friend “Don’t we make a cute couple?” as you hug the original target).
Her: “How tall are you?”
If she’s tall:
You: “6’2. But my mom’s only 5’2 and she wants me dating shorter girls.”
If she’s short:
You: “6’2. But my mom’s only 5’2, like you, and she always wants me dating shorter girls, so therefore I date tall girls.”
Her: “You’re too young for me.” [and she’s older]
You: “Well you’re practically a senior citizen. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m an active guy and I’m not sure that you could handle me with your cane and all. I should introduce you to my grandfather.”
Her: “You’re too young for me.” [and she’s also young]
You: “Girls age faster than guys. Models peak at 17 and are past their prime at 19. You’re 21, meaning you’re way over the hill.”
She opens you:
You: “Is that your pickup line?”
You: “Did you come over just to flirt with me?”
She’s staring at you in the bar:
You: “You should talk to me if you’re going to stare at me”
She has a similar interest as you:
Her: “I love the Dodgers too!”
You: “That’s so cool! Even if I wasn’t trying to get in your pants I’d still hang out with you.”
She touches you in any way
You: “Hands off the merchandise.”
You: “Don’t go grabbing like that! This shit ain’t for free.” [better with 9’s and 10’s]
She talks to another guy:
You: “Stop trying to make jealous!” [sarcastic]
You: “Are you cheating on me?”
She gives you serious attitude:
You: “I kind of have a thing for feisty girls – we’re so getting married in Vegas tomorrow.”
She spills:
You: “See this is why we can’t have nice things.”
She’s unusually young:
You: “Do your parents know where you are?”
She bumps into something:
You: “I hope you didn’t hurt the table/chair/my elbow”
She doesn’t return your call:
You [tex]:: “Are you playing hard to get?”
You [text]: “Are we broken up? I want my CD’s back.”
She gives you LMR:
You: “You’re right, we should stop, I’m gonna stop taking off your pants”
If she’s singing along to the music:
You: “Who sings this song?”
Her: “……….”
You: “Oh really? You should probably let them sing it.”
Like most non-naturals, I can rarely come up with a good banter line off the top of my head for something a girl says, so memorizing these has helped A TON. Feel free to add more, but make sure to include what the line is in response to (whether it’s something a girl says or does).
Examples: (with credit given to a variety of different sources)
Her: “How old are you?”
You: “15. My fake is amazing.”
You: “57. I age really well.”
Her: “I have a boyfriend”
You: “Oh really? So do I. I bet mine’s cuter.”
Her: “There are a lot of cute guys here.”
You: “Yeah I’d fuck ‘em.”
Her: “I need a drink”
You: “Oh so do I, you should get me one too then”
Her: “You’re not drinking anything tonight?”
You: “No, girls take advantage of me when I drink.”
If she buys you a drink:
You: “Did you put roofies in my drink?”
You: “Are you trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?”
Her: “What do you do?”
You: “I’m a Glorified bum”
Her: “What do you ultimately want to do?”
You: “Be a stay at home husband. So you better be smart.”
Her: “Where are you from?”
You: “Obviously not the trailer park that you’re from” [only if she’s a 9 or 10 and you already have some attraction]
You: “McDonalds. I just got off work.”
You: “Santa Monica, but you can’t come home with me. I’m not that easy.”
Her: “I like your shirt/pants”
You: “Thank you. But just because you like my shirt/pants doesn’t mean they’re coming off.”
Her: “What nationality are you?”
You: “Russian [or whatever you are], but sorry my mom only lets me dates other Russians” (she might respond “I am a quarter Russian!” to which you could then get into the boyfriend/girlfriend frame and say “Oh we’re perfect for each other” then to the other friend “Don’t we make a cute couple?” as you hug the original target).
Her: “How tall are you?”
If she’s tall:
You: “6’2. But my mom’s only 5’2 and she wants me dating shorter girls.”
If she’s short:
You: “6’2. But my mom’s only 5’2, like you, and she always wants me dating shorter girls, so therefore I date tall girls.”
Her: “You’re too young for me.” [and she’s older]
You: “Well you’re practically a senior citizen. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m an active guy and I’m not sure that you could handle me with your cane and all. I should introduce you to my grandfather.”
Her: “You’re too young for me.” [and she’s also young]
You: “Girls age faster than guys. Models peak at 17 and are past their prime at 19. You’re 21, meaning you’re way over the hill.”
She opens you:
You: “Is that your pickup line?”
You: “Did you come over just to flirt with me?”
She’s staring at you in the bar:
You: “You should talk to me if you’re going to stare at me”
She has a similar interest as you:
Her: “I love the Dodgers too!”
You: “That’s so cool! Even if I wasn’t trying to get in your pants I’d still hang out with you.”
She touches you in any way
You: “Hands off the merchandise.”
You: “Don’t go grabbing like that! This shit ain’t for free.” [better with 9’s and 10’s]
She talks to another guy:
You: “Stop trying to make jealous!” [sarcastic]
You: “Are you cheating on me?”
She gives you serious attitude:
You: “I kind of have a thing for feisty girls – we’re so getting married in Vegas tomorrow.”
She spills:
You: “See this is why we can’t have nice things.”
She’s unusually young:
You: “Do your parents know where you are?”
She bumps into something:
You: “I hope you didn’t hurt the table/chair/my elbow”
She doesn’t return your call:
You [tex]:: “Are you playing hard to get?”
You [text]: “Are we broken up? I want my CD’s back.”
She gives you LMR:
You: “You’re right, we should stop, I’m gonna stop taking off your pants”
If she’s singing along to the music:
You: “Who sings this song?”
Her: “……….”
You: “Oh really? You should probably let them sing it.”