Parnelli
07-10-2007, 11:00 PM
ok, this is something i've been tinkering with for the last few months, and i'm willing to give it the Parnelli stamp of approval.
Its a toast, just like any other boring silly joking funny toast, but with a twist. When drinking in groups (either at a home or out and about) it is not uncommon for people to raise toasts. To happiness, to success, to family, to the past, to friends, to life.
One thing i've always been less than great at is setting a sexual tone.
Various reasons (habit and history, mostly) for that, but its something i've been working on and i've found this toast to be phenomenal.
If people are raising a toast as a group (as each person lifts their glass and toasts one or 2 things, then the next, then the next, until each person has had a chance to toast something and you are "up") say:
"here's to the self-lubricating vagina"
or
"here's to the self-lubricating vagina, may it walk with me always"
or
"here's to the self-lubricating vagina, the reason men build bridges"
Alternately, if you are at a high point in the group sentiment (i.e., people are responding to you and things are going well), just raise your glass and offer a toast (people are programmed to listen to toasts) and say
"i would like to toast life, happiness, family, my children, and the self lubricating vagina."
or whatever.
if you say "vagina" without self-lubricating, this doesn't seem to work as well. Its more vague, less detailed, less clever, and overall more needy. Adding the self-lubricating part really seems to make the difference.
I would caution that one shouldn't try this out of the blue or at a time when you aren't at least an equitable part of the conversation, and it is best tried at "high point".
But it sets a tone, and GIRLS LOVE IT. seriously, i've gotten high fives, slaps on the shoulder, punched (in a good way), and alot of really positive reactions.
The shower stopped ;) and i have to go, but try this one (cautiously). And consider tryinng it in a one-on-one session as well. (??)
happy hunting gents
Its a toast, just like any other boring silly joking funny toast, but with a twist. When drinking in groups (either at a home or out and about) it is not uncommon for people to raise toasts. To happiness, to success, to family, to the past, to friends, to life.
One thing i've always been less than great at is setting a sexual tone.
Various reasons (habit and history, mostly) for that, but its something i've been working on and i've found this toast to be phenomenal.
If people are raising a toast as a group (as each person lifts their glass and toasts one or 2 things, then the next, then the next, until each person has had a chance to toast something and you are "up") say:
"here's to the self-lubricating vagina"
or
"here's to the self-lubricating vagina, may it walk with me always"
or
"here's to the self-lubricating vagina, the reason men build bridges"
Alternately, if you are at a high point in the group sentiment (i.e., people are responding to you and things are going well), just raise your glass and offer a toast (people are programmed to listen to toasts) and say
"i would like to toast life, happiness, family, my children, and the self lubricating vagina."
or whatever.
if you say "vagina" without self-lubricating, this doesn't seem to work as well. Its more vague, less detailed, less clever, and overall more needy. Adding the self-lubricating part really seems to make the difference.
I would caution that one shouldn't try this out of the blue or at a time when you aren't at least an equitable part of the conversation, and it is best tried at "high point".
But it sets a tone, and GIRLS LOVE IT. seriously, i've gotten high fives, slaps on the shoulder, punched (in a good way), and alot of really positive reactions.
The shower stopped ;) and i have to go, but try this one (cautiously). And consider tryinng it in a one-on-one session as well. (??)
happy hunting gents