Don't know what to do

[muralito]

Hey everybody! Well I have to say that I'm relatively new at this, but I already have read a book or two on the "gaming" subject. A couple of weeks ago I felt very motivated and went out with a couple a friends. I have to say that I decided to apply the mystery method and I did really well! Beyond my expectations actually. The thing is that after that time I didn't go out sarging for a while. Now I'm trying to go back to the field, but even though I did well before, now I don't feel that motivation anymore and feel extreme anxiety. I don’t know if it has to do with my inner game or else but I don't know what to do. Any suggestions on how to become motivated again? On how to win over the anxiety? Do you guys watch o listen to something before going out sarging?

Bay the way from what I’ve seen, the forum is great!
Cheers

PD: Sorry about my English :P

[BBraveheart]

I think your first step should be to figure out what you want to get from learning the art of pickup. Do you want to lay as many girls as you can? Do you want a girlfriend? Do you want the choice of any woman you want and then decide from there if you want a LTR? You need to know what you want from this stuff to set a goal so you can stay motivated to meet that goal.

Next I think at our core, when we begin learning this stuff the majority of us are AFC's. So think about what really needs to happen for you to re-program yourself and change that core AFC mindset into a confident PUA mindset. If you read a book, go out and sarge one night then don't do it again for a couple weeks, you will automitically revert back to your core AFCness. I believe to change your core you need to learn your materials on a daily basis and then go out and practice a couple nights a week. As you learn your materials after going out you will learn even more because you'll be able to related your experiences in the field to what you've been learning in video/audio/book form.

Also when I say changing your core, what I really mean is you need to change your reality. You need to change what is possible in your reality. You need to build a confident reality that isn't shaken by anything. The way we build this is by going out in the field and give your brain "reference points". Let's say you've never gone out and sarged before, but one night you go out and open a set and they like you, your brain now has a new "reference point" as to what is possible. Let's say you get your first one night stand, you now have a new reference point in your brain. The more and more reference points you give your brain the more you will move into that new reality that you're trying to build for yourself.

When I first started this stuff I had terrible approach anxiety (AA), I would see girls I wanted to talk to, I had read the books so I had openers of what to say but could not open the set because of my anxiety. Now I have butterflys when I enter a club but once I open that first set the AA is completely gone because when I'm in there I truly believe I own the place.

So how do you reduce the AA? You have to de-sensitize yourself to it by going out. The more sets you open the more reference points you give your brain. I think having the right mindset going in to the club is also key to reducing AA. What's the right mindset to have? This is what I believe:

You don't give a fuck what anyone thinks of you. You fully believe that every set you open is going to like you and not want you to leave. You fully believe that any escalation that you make on a girl she will accept (you're not timid to escalate because you believe she will accept the escalation so you escalate confidently). You don't care if a set goes good or bad because there will always be more sets. You are un-reactive. You don't look to the girl for anything (reactions, etc). You are a leader, you lead the interaction. You're willing to lay your personality on the line and know that they will like you (despite your ego not liking this).


I think in the end you have to really want to do well at this. You have to really want it and be willing to do whatever it takes to change yourself so you can get this part of your life handled. As you get deeper in this stuff you're going to encounter stuff/people trying to hold you back (be it friends, or a streak of bad nights out, etc). If you hang out with AFC guys you'll quickly see that they don't want you to become a PUA and be doing better with women than they are. But you have to push past that stuff and do what it takes to meet your goals. Hope this helps.