What's the Quickest Way To Build An Emotional Connection?

[Winston]

Hey... so you meet a girl... she's really attracted to you... but she has a boyfriend... even if she finds you more attractive than him... he (boyfriend) still has the advantage of having an emotional connection with the girl... which means, that she'll stay with him... unless you can also connect with her like this... so what's the quickest way to build up such a connection? Is it just by sharing personal stories with each other? Lots of kino? Build rapport? Or some other trick?

[Affection]

Hey Winston,

Welcome to the board. Besides common knowledge approaches like bonding over commonalities, you may find "future projection routines" to be useful. I must point out that this is a bit more towards advanced game, and I don't know where you are in your game now, but make sure that the rest of your game is solid before worrying too much about this.

Later,

~~Affection

[Greystoke]

Affect
where are the future projection routines? I did a search. I can not find them here.

[-Silver-]

so what's the quickest way to build up such a connection? Is it just by sharing personal stories with each other? Lots of kino? Build rapport? Or some other trick?

Those are just basic techniques used for building attraction and basic comfort. You want her to feel as though you have a natural chemistry and a lot in common if you want quick results, simply acheived by either lying, or pointing out everything that you do have in common, and avoiding things that create conflicts of interests between the two of you. One of the best things you can do is use 'the cube' once you're in comfort. You'll know a hell of a lot about her emotionally afterwards, and she'll feel much more of a connection with you because of it. Cold reads like this are gems for building the connection you want.

Want another weapon in your arsenal? Research boyfriend destroying. There's plenty of posts about it on this forum, and once you've got the hang of it, it's pretty damn lethal. :P

-Silver-

[Showcase]

where are the future projection routines? I did a search. I can not find them here.

A future adventure projection is any scenario you set up with the girl that is in the future involving a fun/crazy activity.

For example, I set up a FAP with a girl telling her that we were going to go to Vegas and get married at a drive thru chapel, but only if I got to pick the Elvis impersonator.

[JimSmith]

I think this is a great question. Most people are out there # collecting and get mostly flakes because they lack this. And sometimes there are logistical time constraints/obstacles in the way that prevent you or hinder you from building a deep strong emotional connection.

Obstacles include- loud music, her cockblocking friends, alcohol, ADD, her bitch sheild if you havent properly disarmed it, and the biggest obstacle for me is time.

Alot of times i'd talk to a girl on the street or mall and they have their own thing to get going on. Finding ways to build a super fast emotional connection is tough day game, which is why i usually go direct day game and go straight into rapport building.

Some ways to build an intimate connection that I can think of: kino, multiple venue bouncing, cube, NLP, talking about childhood/growing up, who you are/identity grounding, talk about parents/family, talk about where they grew up, talk about ur soft side/vulnerabilities, talk about their dreams, passions, and ambitions and sharing with her what ur passionate about. Shit they love to fantasize or imagine about but aren't necessarily doing in reality. Makes them feel like you can 'save' them from their daily routine life. It's chick logic, so it just try to understand it. Also this is the time to try to start to match her body language and talk in a more relaxed, comfortable, slow voice tone. Sound understanding and empathetic to her, and use the word "feel" alot to vibe with her feelings. Try to be agreeable with her, or show u understand her point of view before presenting why your different POV. Then you also spice up the interaction here and there in case it gets kind of boring by making jokes or some funny future adventure projections, and some take aways such as "Dont get any ideas now."

Hope that helps and this is what i've been focusing most of my game on more than anything now. Attraction is very brief once u have ur subcommunications down and u isolated her.

[NiteTime78]

Most people are out there # collecting and get mostly flakes because they lack this.


::Raises Hand::


I wanted to ask this earlier, but didn't know the best way to get my point across. Since I'm in the game for a girlfriend, the deep emotional connection is crucial to my success. Boyfriend destroying tactics will most likely have to be used also. Nice topic!

[jimmy swagger]

Why are you trying to take someone's girl? You should get your own. The best boyfriend destroyer is to better than her boyfriend. Why would you want to down someone else to make yourself seen better? I belive that your are suffering from a scarcity menatality. There is more than one woman in the world. And to answer you question, you build and emotion connection through sharing emotions, not stories. The stories are used to convey the emotion.

[Maverick]

You build and emotion connection through sharing emotions, not stories. The stories are used to convey the emotion.

Beautifully put :)

[ScottSavvy]

I've found that the best way is to evoke certian memories from their past, and relate to them. Because once she has cherished memories in her thoughts, she will associate them with you, and will associate good memories with you.

Especially if you have something similar to add into the conversation.

[allcool]

Why are you trying to take someone's girl? You should get your own. There is more than one woman in the world
Is it wrong to think that it's Her choice to make? My experience has been allot of desirable women are rarely single, and allot of single women in the world are less than desirable :)

[Day Walker]

The goal of emotional connection:
Your goal is to find one or two things about this girl that are unique to her and that are important to her. You then want to genuinely appreciate that about her; you want to tell her why that is so special and unique; you want to let her see as you see, why she is so special and unique. This makes her feel special and understood. If you can do this you become special to her because you see her for who she is deep down and make her feel good about what you see in her. One caveat about this is that you don’t want to over appreciate either, otherwise you become a kiss ass and she now feels that she is in the place of higher value and you are trying to win her over. You do not want this or she will lose attraction, so make sure you get down to what is really important to her and only appreciate those attributes.

Techniques to find what is important to her:
You go first. If you share something about yourself, she is much more likely to share something about herself, and be open to you asking questions; this is the law of reciprocation. Keeping that in mind, as you want to dig deeper into who she is, you will have to be willing to share with her who you are deeper down. A powerful way to share is describing your experiences and passions in the emotions and sensations you feel. An example would be “snowboarding is my greatest passion. It allows me to feel completely free and have all my problems melt away. When I feel the wind in my face, breathe the cold crisp air, leave the snow for a moment or two to feel the force of gravity, I feel truly alive.”

Two good rules to go by are: never ask more than two questions in a row. This ensures the sharing is equal and allows you to go deeper faster by making her want to open up to you as you open up to her. The other is never interrupt once she starts sharing.

A powerful tool to elicit what is important to her is to get to the root of why she enjoys things. All you simply need to say is “what do you really enjoy about (insert whatever it is you found out she likes)?” This can reveal a whole avalanche of things that make her unique that you can then appreciate so she feels special and understood.

Eric Disco from pickUp101 always says "It's not how you make the girl feel about you that matters, it's how you make her feel about herself."

[Von_Halen]

Day Walker, GREAT post man. I like it a lot.

[flashgordon]

Share secrets and hidden feelings that you havent told anyone. i.e. you crying. You scared, you happy.

[diegomartinez6933]

Lance Mason's The Obsession Button-good stuff.

[Sex]

I've found that the best way is to evoke certian memories from their past, and relate to them. Because once she has cherished memories in her thoughts, she will associate them with you, and will associate good memories with you.

Especially if you have something similar to add into the conversation.

Beautiful.

[Artemisa]

hey guys, I found this old thread and want to ask you what would work to create an emotional connection with men. The things that you mentioned do work with women but I think they would scare men.

any good ideas?

[Von_Halen]

Pretty much the same idea. Normally guys'll talk about different things than girls obviously, but the same type of rules apply.

Try something like:

Guy: (talks about favorite sport or something he loved to do like music or something)

Woman: Oh, I've always thought that was cool. Why do you like it so much?

I know for me at least, I love it when my gf takes an interest in the things I like. Like, I love doing parkour and music and stuff and she always supports me, but the fact that she respects it and is WILILNG to support me is more than anything the most important to me. So really anyway that you can portray that would be good.

[Valentine11]

I’ve found that one of the most powerful ways to build an emotional connection is to show my passion and purpose in life (like a good story, go into a little detail about them so that you can paint a picture of what drives you in life). I try to convey to a girl how im going places in life where she will want to be. And that’s the kind of guy I actually am. I am always looking for new adventures, and I have a few things I really want to accomplish in my life. So, when I talk about my passions, it comes out with a lot of enthusiasm and drive. One thing I used to forget was that it becomes one-way and eventually boring if you don’t try to see her passion and purpose. Compliment her on her life’s goals; just make sure you throw in a very light tease or release to avoid awkwardness. You want to give her the feeling that the two of you have the same enthusiastic outlook in life and are destined to do something great. It’s very powerful if you can convey to her that the two of you will make a good team and will support each other in your life’s goals. Use with caution ;)

[Dominic]

mystery's 3 second rule that i have used

me: so are you here with your friend, (smiling and a hint of laughter) not implying that you guys are lesbian, but i mean real close friends?
girl: (friend walks away) yeah, im here just getting a few things. (she is smiling)

now this is something that really happened and i got to close after the next 2nd date. Now it took me a total of 10 hours to do it. I built re-pore, by telling a few jokes about our situation that we where in, but no subject out of the crazy thin air [although the jokes were]. To get the ability to be able to get kino, i presented myself slow to the uptake of obvious [sex innuendos] that she gave off but i still put out a few of mine out there, i did get rejected on the 3 attempt at kino, but how i got more was to pre-select myself by letting her know that this was a fun night out for me and that i enjoyed her company but it was not like my whole night was riding on her, i still had friends calling to drink and party. During the whole night i was telling her that she was great but nothing i haven't seen before until she really did things that was unique to her and then i would give positive feedback, and change location as often as i could. Now as for getting it in an instantly, it all depends on the instant attraction level on either party and be different but still have common interests that she can relate to.
Hope it helps.