Help with speaking skills

[hayt88]

Well I have the problem I speak often too quiet and too fast and not very clear.

Is there any way to ged rid of this. When I approach I take care of speaking clear and loud. So I had no problem with it.

But when I talk with friends I'm not aware of how I'm speaking and I get back to my old behavior. So I wanna take care of this before I feel to comfortable with the whole game. And it is my aim to feel comfortable there so I really have to do something.

OK have you got any tips?
I read a acting school would be fine to help this problem but I have none in my area so I hope you can give some useful tips

Thx

Hayt

[Showcase]

One cool little thing that you can do is take a twist tie, or something like that, and tie it on one of your fingers. Let yourself know that every time you look at the twist tie you will remember to control both the volume and speed of your voice.

This exercise should help you get used to speaking the way you want all of the time.

[Mister E]

Inhaling real deep should do it.

Because I talk real quick and sometimes quiet too.
Whoever I'm talking to just can't understand me so theyre just saying what what what...and I get tired so then thats when you just sigh and talk slowly and coherently and people can hear you.
I just need to do that before I talk to people so I just don't go around talking gibberish then having to slow it down very much to talk to someone.

[Richard]

Join a local Toastmasters club. There is bound to be one in your community or within driving distance. Look up local groups at www.toastmasters.org

This is a group where you meet up and improve speaking skills in prepared or impromptu situations. I have been a member for about a year now and given 6 speeches plus participated in every role in the club many times. My communications and speaking have improved greatly. My anxiety has also dropped tremendously since I joined.

We have exercises like Table topics every meeting, where we have to speak impromptu on a given topic for 1-2 minutes on the spot. All the toastmasters material teaches techniques for proper delivery. Everyone gets reviewed when they speak and receive suggestions on where to improve by experienced members.

Just find a local club and contact them to come as a guest for the first few meetings to find out more. If your area has more than one club, try a few out to find the best one for you. The cost is virtually nothing.

[Parnelli]

Well I have the problem I speak often too quiet and too fast and not very clear.

Is there any way to ged rid of this. When I approach I take care of speaking clear and loud. So I had no problem with it.

But when I talk with friends I'm not aware of how I'm speaking and I get back to my old behavior. So I wanna take care of this before I feel to comfortable with the whole game. And it is my aim to feel comfortable there so I really have to do something.

OK have you got any tips?
I read a acting school would be fine to help this problem but I have none in my area so I hope you can give some useful tips

Thx

Hayt

Hey hayt, as its late, and i have to get a good nights rest as i've a date with a lake and a boat tomorrow (fun!), i'll have to go to bed once i'm done posting this.

But i'd like to offer that if you look at great men you will certainly find some that simply got lucky, or had a moment of insight and action, and blah blah blah. But among those who toiled the hardest for their victories in life, you will find one common trait: at some point or another, they simply realized that THEY SUCKED, and started to deal with it. In business they perhaps realized that their ideas were NOT appropriate, and adapted. In all things lovely and soft and feminine and social, they realized they didn't have "all the cards", and just set out, humbly, to find out how to attain them (the cards).

your post leads me to believe that you are on the right track, and you are probably a man of great expectations. Truly, it is not talent (nor hardly) that divides the accomplished from the frustrated, it is realism. Realistic acceptance of their limitations and flaws.

It is worth considering that realism is the one and only form of optimism. Only with a realistic view of what is wrong, can one begin the long and usually arduous path towards making it right.

My only advice, and the only advice worth giving, is to re-"frame" (i'm learning these terms!) your frustration as the beginning of a journey, as a challenge. That may totally change your outlook.

FCK, i lost that deal (business) or GDDMN i'm a freak (girls) becomes "ok, what could i have done differently". And that, and ONLY that, is freedom. At least to me.

At the age of 18, i was a college frosh. Sheltered, and unbelievably inept socially, i set out to school. In my first few days on campus, something happened that changed my life totally. It made me realize that if i didn't STOP being frightened when people talked to me (at that point in my life, i literally could not converse, and would walk away if a coolish seeming guy or pretty girl talked to me).

I did this: i just walked around and smiled at people, until i could reasonably smile without frightening others (a really bad or forced smile is kind of creepy, i think)

then i moved on to the big scary world of saying "hi". no attempt at conversation, just "hi"

Then i realized that returned "hi's" varied, and some were out of reflex - you're SUPPOSED to say hi if somebody hasn't offended you. So i kept working on the "hi" routine, and doing it in a way that wasn't creepy. Sometimes people notice you as you walk by, and a polite, reactionary, routine "hi" is in order, sometimes people notice you from a ways off, and it seemed to make them happy if you gave a more sincere "hi"

I was almost 19 before i said ANYTHING to a girl other than "hi" if I was remotely interested in her.

from there i walked the plank into trying to converse. it didn't go any better or easier than saying "hi", but whatever.

It worked out, man, but only because i finally, after 18 years of life, accepted that i just didn't have hwat i needed.

it seems like you're way ahead of me! someday, you'll be the man, and i'll have to just nod and accept it if ever we meet!

When i hire people i don't much consider resumes or whats said in interviews, i just look for that guy who's willing to admit that he doesn't have it, and willing to learn. Those guys always get theirs, in the end.

good luck!

[Parnelli]

also, think of how you interact with the girls who didg you, but who you totally are not attracted to.

apply same basic forms of behavior (NO MATTER how inappropriate you might think they are) to pretty girls. You may well never need another dating tip.