++ Giving myself value ++

[wildblue]

I've been reading much of this and other forums/sites for a while but this is my first post.

I found the PUA scene after a LTR breakup with my ex and I needed a change in the way I treated the world. I've gone out talked to strangers, tried out some tech and met a few women, all of it great.

Here is my problem- for as long as I can remember putting others ahead of myself is/was my MO. This is the thing that is the most detrimental to all aspects of my life and needs to change. I grew up in a pretty psychologically abusive environment that involved me having a lot of unwarranted self-loathing and social/physical isolation from a very young age. At some point I put myself last so no one could push me down - I was already at the bottom.

Thankfully, I'm not content putting myself last anymore. I have drastically changed myself the past 6 months- I am much more outgoing now and smile a lot, I dress well, I read lots of PUA and non-PUA books to expand my greyspace, I eject negativity from my thoughts and actions and try and better myself on a daily basis. I realize I am deserving of good things, have a right to exist and be happy but deep down rooted in the very back of my head I am still last. (Example: a strangers disapproval can devastate me for days because I value their opinion over my own. An acquaintances disapproval can devastate me for months. I worry that people think I'm extremely odd, creepy or a pervert- even though I know I am none of these things. The list goes on...)

I've done traditional therapy, meditation, anti-depressants, acupuncture, all to no avail. This is what is holding me back in my personal relationships, my career and ultimately my path in life - I need to change.

So my question is: How can I change this deep seeded destructive inner image and give value to myself?

Sentinelrv has some really good insights - but I want more.
http://www.venusianarts.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13697

And I feel like rAFC(username) has some similar experiences but his lens is vastly different than mine.

I think PUA(tistry) is one of the most positive things that has ever happened to me and I am very grateful that there is such an open group willing to teach the secrets of jedivoodoosexmojo to anyone who has the drive to do the work.

Thanks, I'll try not to lurk anymore :)

Wildblue

[azazels_wolf]

I think PUA(tistry) is one of the most positive things that has ever happened to me and I am very grateful that there is such an open group willing to teach the secrets of jedivoodoosexmojo to anyone who has the drive to do the work.



LOL :D

If none of the methods you have described have helped you, then perhaps what you need to do is work from outer to inner: Behave AS IF this was not an issue for you. Make the career decisions that a high value man would make. Behave in relationships as a high value man would. Go through life doing what a high value man does, and displaying the attitudes that he would, even though your inner attitudes don't yet completely match up. Eventually, if you do these things long enough, your inner self will change to match your behaviors. Even if at first you feel you are putting on an act, continue to behave (and whenever possible, think and feel) LIKE YOUR BEST SELF. With patience and persistence, you will become him.

This Best of thread might also be of use to you:

A simple Inner game trick thats huge.
http://www.venusianarts.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11931