Swagger
06-05-2007, 07:52 PM
This post is too long, see the post below for analysis.
Pulling crackers..
There are many great things that one can associate with Christmas but one of the most enjoyable things about the festive season is the fact that usually innocent girls (such as myself) tend to let their guards down and think "sod it". This applies to all things alcohol related, binging on a sickening amount of chocolate (including the xmas tree chocolates!) and of course, the choices a girl makes when it comes to a bit of a Christmas pull...throwing caution to the wind tends to be the general consensus...
So I had managed to reach mid December and my pulling prospects were looking bleak thanks to the good old dissertation I had handed in only a few weeks earlier. I hadn't had TIME to hunt down a man in time for my traditional Christmas 'night of passion' so I felt not only highly frustrated but extremely worried. I mean, going home for a couple of weeks to see the 'rents whilst feeling erm..pent up...is hardly desirable and it's not like I'm going to pack in my rabbit alongisde my suitcase of dirty laundry that I intend to give my Mum as an early Christmas present..haha!!
The pole dancing society had their final social last Wednesday and the theme was fairies...I spend aggeeesss fixing sparkly shit on to my wings and making my own wand. I felt prouder than I did at age 6 when I managed to cross-stitch my name (albeit rather wonkily) into a big fat piece of tapestry mesh. Awesome. I decide that I may as well go out and out with the whole fairy costume too so I wear my gorgeous red corset and a big (very big) red tutu. Cute!
While I'm in the shower, I start shampooing and suddenly the thought hits me like a thunderbolt: "Ok Caroline..are you going to pull tonight?" I mull over this thought as if this is the case, I need to shave above the knee area and do a deep condition of the hair (on my head) to make it ultra soft and silky. Hmmmm..I have been good most of the year I suppose...I mean, it is Christmas and all...it's not tooooo much like slutty behaviour..I am going home in the next few days....hmmmmm
I decide that I'm not going OUT to pull but if someone comes along, I may as well. I shave above the knee and don't bother with the deep condition deducing that if they're a one nighter, what do they care about my hair??!!!
I get horribly drunk in Templars after a game of "I have never". I am extremely worried about the amount of times I stand up to drink. Templars are due to sponsor the pole dancers and are having poles installed in there..this seems to be on the premise that we dance for punters when required. We had learnt a routine earlier that day to Prince's "kiss" and the president suggested to us all (after far too many jugs) that we do it in twos. I agree and the next thing I know, the DJ is whipping up a right crowd: "Come on lads...see the Trent pole dancers perform in 5 minutes!!" I carry on dancing, turn around and notice that there are more men waiting and jeering expectantly than there would be if England were playing France in the world cup. Bloody hell. The music starts up and I do the whole gyrating and leg spreading thing and amazingly, I remember my winks and coy glances..and eye contact! My Dad would be so proud.
The thing about pole dancing is that it makes you quite frisky and I could already sense my initial reservations about pulling slowly melt away. We get to Ocean and me and my new Geordie friend do a once over of the room to check out the talent. Nada. Not a sausage. I decide on a quick trip to the loo to check the old rouge and mascara are still in place. It is at this point a fairly nice looking guy grabs my hand and says a couple of complimentary things to me. Hmmmm...I'm not really interested though as I'm more concerned that my knickers are slipping down thanks to my awkward tutu so I carry striding to the fine toilets of Ocean..
An hour or so later and I'm trashed. It's official. I have 2 bottles of VK orange and I look oh-so-classy as I'm doing all the moves to Love Machine complete with miming lyrics. It is at this point I spot fairly nice looking guy who spots me. It is also at this moment I think "sod it". I beckon him over and he tries to chat to me but it's too late, i've made my mind up. I silence him with a rather drunken snog and push him against a nearby wall despite the fact he's about 6 foot 2 and I am considerably shorter. After more kissing I say to him "Ok then, lets go back to your place" he says "my place? ok then..I need to tell my friend though.." "NO!!" I say, "either you come with me now or not at all!!" I am thinking that if I debate this, I'm going to sober up and be all sensible so I defo needed to leave there and then...I tell the girls "Right, I'm off, I'm pulling" (???) and then we get in a cab. I disover that he lives in Halls. Jesus. I also discover he is 18 "but 19 in April!" and goes to Notts Uni. Typical. Only I could go to a Trent night and pick up a Beestonite...
In the cab, I avoid any small talk since this is strictly a one night thing, talk just complicates things. We get to the scuzzy halls where I notice (rather pleasingly despite drunkeness) that he has an impressive book collection..Easton-Ellis, Woolf....Grrr...I don't like boys who have good books, it's a weakness. He isn't allowed to HAVE a personality or intelligence!! He is a one nighter dammit! I discover he is doing some kind of English degree and since I did an English degree too I am aware of how troubled male English students are. They always have issues and problems with everything. Fact. I didn't like the fact he could quote HUGE chunks of Easton-Ellis at me (my fave author) or when I said my undergrad dissertation was on Coupland, he was able to quite HUGE chunks of Coupland too. We had a brief discussion about all things postmodern and I felt a bit switched on in a way I haven't for a while. I mean, I've never really had a proper book discussion since doing my undergrad as none of my friends are big on books really. It's obv something I miss very much. I couldn't believe I was having this discussion with an 18 year old..since when did they get so bloody intelligent? His take on so many things was frighteningly intellectual and I felt unnerved. Even film wise..we liked the same things...had the same take on stuff..it was all very odd really...in fact the whole situation was like something out of the "Rules of Attraction"..here we were, about to enjoy a night of debauched fun whilst discussing the best way to read Woolf's "To the Lighthouse"...One thing is for sure, you wouldn't get the same kind of convo out of certain conquests! (see cuntish behaviour)
So lets skip to the good stuff. The thing I enjoy about a one nighter is that you can do or say what you like without worrying about future consequences. I didn't think I'd be seeing any action for a while after this encounter so I decided to make the most of it. This guy was very public school "rah rah" which was a touch off putting but this gave way to what I noticed next...he had the BEST body I have ever seen in my life. He had told me he was an American footballer (don't worry, he's legit..he has an American passport) and he had some of my cheerleader friends in common...this is a little closer to home than I would have liked but still...the body was worth it. Full on six pack, arms..fit legs. Bloody hell. Thanks Santa!!! That's the good thing about young guys, they CARE about appearance..well, we all do at that age. I remember at 18 not wanting to eat chocolate more than once a week and being reduced to tears if the scales tipped 7 stone 7. Ha, how those times have changed! Ah well, embrace curviness is what I say!
I was expecting this guy to be shy, maybe even a touch clingy (noooooo) or even worse, an early finisher...but no, he was confident and knew exactly what to do..in fact, I felt like the inexperienced one compared to him..it was just amazing being thrown about multiple times..the kind of raw good fun and passion you could only get from a holiday romance where nobody knows you. He bossed me about, I bossed him about and we just went on and on..even after a few drinks he was able to go...incredible! I miss the enthusiasm that guys used to possess, clearly! Why is it that the older guys get, the lazier they become?? Grrrrr ...The killer line came when he said "I care about the girl having a good time, it's more important than my own needs"..WHAT? He's 18! 18!!!!
So yes, this one nighter lasted well into the afternoon of the next day and despite his suggestions that we meet again, I was very much adament about the fact we definitely won't be...anyone who I may potentially date needs to see me as a demure, sweet kind of girl before any of that nonsense and since he got the goods early on, you can't really pretend to be like that anymore so it's a no-go for me...I think you learn something from every sexual encounter and on this occassion the lesson learnt here was to broaden my horizons a bit more...maybe younger really could be the way forward since they are so eager to please and appear to have unlimited enthusiasm. This is, however, on the condition that they are to cite their favourite Shakespearian tragedy..obviously!
God I love Christmas..can you celebrate half Christmas in June do you think?
Pulling crackers..
There are many great things that one can associate with Christmas but one of the most enjoyable things about the festive season is the fact that usually innocent girls (such as myself) tend to let their guards down and think "sod it". This applies to all things alcohol related, binging on a sickening amount of chocolate (including the xmas tree chocolates!) and of course, the choices a girl makes when it comes to a bit of a Christmas pull...throwing caution to the wind tends to be the general consensus...
So I had managed to reach mid December and my pulling prospects were looking bleak thanks to the good old dissertation I had handed in only a few weeks earlier. I hadn't had TIME to hunt down a man in time for my traditional Christmas 'night of passion' so I felt not only highly frustrated but extremely worried. I mean, going home for a couple of weeks to see the 'rents whilst feeling erm..pent up...is hardly desirable and it's not like I'm going to pack in my rabbit alongisde my suitcase of dirty laundry that I intend to give my Mum as an early Christmas present..haha!!
The pole dancing society had their final social last Wednesday and the theme was fairies...I spend aggeeesss fixing sparkly shit on to my wings and making my own wand. I felt prouder than I did at age 6 when I managed to cross-stitch my name (albeit rather wonkily) into a big fat piece of tapestry mesh. Awesome. I decide that I may as well go out and out with the whole fairy costume too so I wear my gorgeous red corset and a big (very big) red tutu. Cute!
While I'm in the shower, I start shampooing and suddenly the thought hits me like a thunderbolt: "Ok Caroline..are you going to pull tonight?" I mull over this thought as if this is the case, I need to shave above the knee area and do a deep condition of the hair (on my head) to make it ultra soft and silky. Hmmmm..I have been good most of the year I suppose...I mean, it is Christmas and all...it's not tooooo much like slutty behaviour..I am going home in the next few days....hmmmmm
I decide that I'm not going OUT to pull but if someone comes along, I may as well. I shave above the knee and don't bother with the deep condition deducing that if they're a one nighter, what do they care about my hair??!!!
I get horribly drunk in Templars after a game of "I have never". I am extremely worried about the amount of times I stand up to drink. Templars are due to sponsor the pole dancers and are having poles installed in there..this seems to be on the premise that we dance for punters when required. We had learnt a routine earlier that day to Prince's "kiss" and the president suggested to us all (after far too many jugs) that we do it in twos. I agree and the next thing I know, the DJ is whipping up a right crowd: "Come on lads...see the Trent pole dancers perform in 5 minutes!!" I carry on dancing, turn around and notice that there are more men waiting and jeering expectantly than there would be if England were playing France in the world cup. Bloody hell. The music starts up and I do the whole gyrating and leg spreading thing and amazingly, I remember my winks and coy glances..and eye contact! My Dad would be so proud.
The thing about pole dancing is that it makes you quite frisky and I could already sense my initial reservations about pulling slowly melt away. We get to Ocean and me and my new Geordie friend do a once over of the room to check out the talent. Nada. Not a sausage. I decide on a quick trip to the loo to check the old rouge and mascara are still in place. It is at this point a fairly nice looking guy grabs my hand and says a couple of complimentary things to me. Hmmmm...I'm not really interested though as I'm more concerned that my knickers are slipping down thanks to my awkward tutu so I carry striding to the fine toilets of Ocean..
An hour or so later and I'm trashed. It's official. I have 2 bottles of VK orange and I look oh-so-classy as I'm doing all the moves to Love Machine complete with miming lyrics. It is at this point I spot fairly nice looking guy who spots me. It is also at this moment I think "sod it". I beckon him over and he tries to chat to me but it's too late, i've made my mind up. I silence him with a rather drunken snog and push him against a nearby wall despite the fact he's about 6 foot 2 and I am considerably shorter. After more kissing I say to him "Ok then, lets go back to your place" he says "my place? ok then..I need to tell my friend though.." "NO!!" I say, "either you come with me now or not at all!!" I am thinking that if I debate this, I'm going to sober up and be all sensible so I defo needed to leave there and then...I tell the girls "Right, I'm off, I'm pulling" (???) and then we get in a cab. I disover that he lives in Halls. Jesus. I also discover he is 18 "but 19 in April!" and goes to Notts Uni. Typical. Only I could go to a Trent night and pick up a Beestonite...
In the cab, I avoid any small talk since this is strictly a one night thing, talk just complicates things. We get to the scuzzy halls where I notice (rather pleasingly despite drunkeness) that he has an impressive book collection..Easton-Ellis, Woolf....Grrr...I don't like boys who have good books, it's a weakness. He isn't allowed to HAVE a personality or intelligence!! He is a one nighter dammit! I discover he is doing some kind of English degree and since I did an English degree too I am aware of how troubled male English students are. They always have issues and problems with everything. Fact. I didn't like the fact he could quote HUGE chunks of Easton-Ellis at me (my fave author) or when I said my undergrad dissertation was on Coupland, he was able to quite HUGE chunks of Coupland too. We had a brief discussion about all things postmodern and I felt a bit switched on in a way I haven't for a while. I mean, I've never really had a proper book discussion since doing my undergrad as none of my friends are big on books really. It's obv something I miss very much. I couldn't believe I was having this discussion with an 18 year old..since when did they get so bloody intelligent? His take on so many things was frighteningly intellectual and I felt unnerved. Even film wise..we liked the same things...had the same take on stuff..it was all very odd really...in fact the whole situation was like something out of the "Rules of Attraction"..here we were, about to enjoy a night of debauched fun whilst discussing the best way to read Woolf's "To the Lighthouse"...One thing is for sure, you wouldn't get the same kind of convo out of certain conquests! (see cuntish behaviour)
So lets skip to the good stuff. The thing I enjoy about a one nighter is that you can do or say what you like without worrying about future consequences. I didn't think I'd be seeing any action for a while after this encounter so I decided to make the most of it. This guy was very public school "rah rah" which was a touch off putting but this gave way to what I noticed next...he had the BEST body I have ever seen in my life. He had told me he was an American footballer (don't worry, he's legit..he has an American passport) and he had some of my cheerleader friends in common...this is a little closer to home than I would have liked but still...the body was worth it. Full on six pack, arms..fit legs. Bloody hell. Thanks Santa!!! That's the good thing about young guys, they CARE about appearance..well, we all do at that age. I remember at 18 not wanting to eat chocolate more than once a week and being reduced to tears if the scales tipped 7 stone 7. Ha, how those times have changed! Ah well, embrace curviness is what I say!
I was expecting this guy to be shy, maybe even a touch clingy (noooooo) or even worse, an early finisher...but no, he was confident and knew exactly what to do..in fact, I felt like the inexperienced one compared to him..it was just amazing being thrown about multiple times..the kind of raw good fun and passion you could only get from a holiday romance where nobody knows you. He bossed me about, I bossed him about and we just went on and on..even after a few drinks he was able to go...incredible! I miss the enthusiasm that guys used to possess, clearly! Why is it that the older guys get, the lazier they become?? Grrrrr ...The killer line came when he said "I care about the girl having a good time, it's more important than my own needs"..WHAT? He's 18! 18!!!!
So yes, this one nighter lasted well into the afternoon of the next day and despite his suggestions that we meet again, I was very much adament about the fact we definitely won't be...anyone who I may potentially date needs to see me as a demure, sweet kind of girl before any of that nonsense and since he got the goods early on, you can't really pretend to be like that anymore so it's a no-go for me...I think you learn something from every sexual encounter and on this occassion the lesson learnt here was to broaden my horizons a bit more...maybe younger really could be the way forward since they are so eager to please and appear to have unlimited enthusiasm. This is, however, on the condition that they are to cite their favourite Shakespearian tragedy..obviously!
God I love Christmas..can you celebrate half Christmas in June do you think?