Attracting LJBF

[MikeLava]

My first post
... 1st I wanna say thanks to all and everyone who has ever posted any good material for the public, this stuff has opened my eyes...

Here is my dilemma. There is a girl who I MUST have. I've known her for almost a year and we're quite good friends. I met her as an AFC and totally made the wrong impressions. But we have a mutual respect & admiration due to the fact we're both artists of the same calibre(dancers). In short, we would make an awesome couple, and anything is possible. But atm I'm a nice guy. :mad:

Now that I am well on my way to becoming PUA, how can I retrace my steps and create attraction? I was thinking to get a hot gf and flaunt her to create jealousy.... ?

Any tips would be appreciated.

[PizzaLord]

Once you have entered the friend zone there is no escape.

Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

Move on.

[CrimsonKing]

I really dont agree with the simple "move on" response. Yes, we should all avoid the one-itis, and it's not a good reason to get into the pick-up arts in the first place, but why cant we still try and help?

MikeLava, the venusian arts isn't about getting that "one" girl. It's about creating a lifestyle to get the right girls, which is why you see a lot of people who just say "it's one-itis dude, fuck 10 other girls and move on". Sure it's easy to say, but it's a lot harder to do when you're just starting out.

It is true that once you hit the LJBF zone it can be VERY hard to recover. But there are things you can do. If you haven't already, read The Mystery Method (or older e-book version, The Venusian Arts Handbook), and learn the basic principles and theory. Distance yourself from the girl for a bit. Redefine yourself in terms of style and attitude. MEET OTHER WOMEN and turn them into LTRs or FBs or even just good friends if that's all you can muster. Get her to miss you, but also make sure she sees or hears about you and other women (jealousy), but without making it look like you're trying to show off. Again, MEET OTHER WOMEN. This will also help you get out of the one-itis mindset where you think that she is the only one for you, which will make it easier to get her. It's much easier to pick-up a women when you know you have choice (you might even realize that there are better girls out there and you may decide that you want to keep her just as a close friend anyway).

After a little while, resurface in her life as the new and incredibly attractive you, and game her as if she was a warm set.

Hope that helps!

[10Pin]

After a little while, resurface in her life as the new and incredibly attractive you, and game her as if she was a warm set

This is very true.

I have a large circle of female friends. In fact, pretty much all my friends are women. And I have either pulled, or slept with, or done sexual things, with pretty much all of them.

You need to take time away from her (read 3 weeks +), and ignore her completely (and yes, that includes text messages), and come back with a high-impact return that shows her a 'new' side of you, i.e. if she knows you as a quiet, bookish guy then you're now the super cool party guy. If you were the party guy, now you're the fun but also mature guy.

The biggest barrier in your way is yourself. By that I mean are you truly going to be able to not give a fuck when you try to kiss her? When you decide its time to take her pants off? When you decide its time to put your dick inside her?

Or will you get nervous and lose it?

Because the minute you get nervous you WILL screw up. If you cannot say that you will be able to not give a fuck, then give up now and accept it as is, or next her.

I wish you well, but these are the stark realities.

The other thing I want to ask you, is what are your goals? You talk about being on your way to PUA status. If that is your goal, why load yourself down with the relationship you seemingly want from this girl?

[MikeLava]

thx for the advice, I know I can just 'move on', but 1 thing the Arts has re-inforced in me is that I create my own reality and anything is possible when it comes to women. In 3 weeks I've consumed as much info as it would take the average person to in 6 months. I'm always in the field and my progress is astounding even myself. You can say I was always a PUA in an AFC's mindset.

10pin, my goals are to be laid by the most beautiful women in this city, and practice until my skills are second nature. I know I said we'd make a great couple, but what I should've said was that she'd make a great FB.

Thx again :cool:

[Stander]

Guys, great stuff. I am enjoying this post.

[John the Baptist]

My first post on this forum.

Mike,

LBJF is a big hurdle to developing a sexually intimate angle to your relationship with this girl, sure. But realize something first--you already have a relationship with her.

I speak with some experience on the subject. I got LBJF'd some years ago. It was actually a fix-up by a mutual friend. She yelled at him for trying to introduce her to "a kid." That was some years ago, way before a guru like Mystery, Style, et al could shed light on why certain things worked and others didn't, contrary to what you're taught. Needless to say, I go tthe girl. And its still hot in the kitchen. So it can be done.

Keys: first of all, work on yourself. Get some fantastically interesting stuff going on in your life. The skills are important to getting you through the front door (and that's a thrill in and of itself), but staying at the party, that requires you to be worth inviting back, again and again.

Don't make yourself available, simply because you're honestly busy living a great life.

Learn conversational skills to escalate her emotional states. Again, guys in their 20's who want to learn this stuff have the keys to the kingdom laid at their feet nowadays. When I was 20-something, it was all arcane, black magic, and often hit and miss. I've seen Mystery's video of shit tests on youtube, and that answered any questions in my mind whether the top gurus in the game are for real or are for shit. THAT was classic stuff, and in reality, its up there with the therapeutic techniques of Erickson when it comes to sheer magic in play.

Once you know how to escalate emotional states, make you also take them away. What comes out of your mouth is like what goes into Whitney Houston's pipe--pure chick crack. Very few guys can really get it on with a girl on a conversational basis. Those that can are devastating.

Get some KINO in there. Look for ANY IOI's and move on them. If you don't have IOI's, create harmless reasons to get touchy-feely, esp. if you're pushing her buttons with your language.

Good luck! JtB

[Mikah9]

^^ it can be done.

i met one LJBF's as an AFC about 2 years ago. she was the hottest girl in my college, a HB9.5 for sure.

since joining the community ive started applying some game theory, and basicly ive fucked her 4 times this week and probably will again tonight.

take her out sarging one night. as long as you show some higher value and number close some chicks in front of her.

[666]

I can see how they look differently at me now. There's the gazing and the spark and sexual tension here and there. And the text messages and random invitations and flirting.

Back then, it more of a......... hahaha

[Cedar]

...I know I can just 'move on', but 1 thing the Arts has re-inforced in me is that I create my own reality and anything is possible when it comes to women...

Prediction. You'll go fuck ten other girls, come back to this one, nail her, and wonder what the hell you were hung up on. She's just a girl. Get over it.

[Utah]

Hey man,

My advice would be to go cocky funny. While I have never successfully got out of the friend zone I think it is possible.

I would advise not going down the traditional Mystery Method technique. This is because you already know her so to start negging and then DHV's may weird her out (unfortunately I know this from personal experience). I think Mystery Method works best when you are in a club environment and don't know the target (where negging and DHV's and the other techniques are GOLD).

Instead I would go cocky-funny. Tease her. Accuse her of trying to pick you up. CONSTANTLY remind her that your "just friends" and for her to stop trying to seduce you.

Meet other women.

Meet lots of other women.

Treat her like your bratty little sister. Flirt with her as well. If she invites you out for a drink (as just friends) tell her OK but so long as she realises that nothing is ever going to happen between you and her. Make her promise she won't try and go in for a goodnight kiss. Tell her you don't BLAME her for it - its just that woman CONSTANTLY throw themselves at you all the time and treat you only as a sex object - your just pleased she likes you for the delicate flower that you are -and you want to remain friends. Make her pinky promise.

If she gives you an IOI tell her to stop trying to seduce you...and although your flattered by her advances you have a "no sex till marriage rule" anyway.

Misinterprete what she says as something dirty. Tell her that because your saving yourself till marriage she may have to explain it to you anyway. Suggest to her that she draws you a diagram.

KEEP THIS UP. Don't do it ALL the time (with her anyway). Do it on and off to start. Give her mixed signals. If she flirts back then REALLY turn it up.

I hope you realise that the odds are heavily stacked against you on this one so don't EXPECT to pick her up. From personal experience going C/F on friends is great - I haven't successfully pulled a LJBF yet - but I get told ALL THE TIME from friends that I'm now way more confident and fun to be around because of that (and if I wanted to pull them - I'm SURE I could do it by this method).

Hope this helps

[John the Baptist]

Utah,

That's a good angle to take. Only thing I could say is, transition into your cocky-funny angle on things gradually. That's where the art-form is at, because if you go from the LBJF to hard cocky-funny, it could backfire as well if you don't have the skills to manage it.

And the advice to get out and get on with your life is spot-on. You're not married to this girl, so live a LOT, meet new people, and enjoy your life. Pining away after just one woman is SOOO 20th century inefficient!

[Utah]

John The Baptist,

Advice spot on.

I actually tried to make the point of phasing in the C/F in my post but didn't do it well!

So that is excellent advice.

[MikeLava]

Excellent advice guys.

I've noticed myself already implementing these steps. Very very gradually, as it seems now that's she's getting to see the "real" me instead of me changing into someone else.

Another good point, I've never directly hit on her and we've never explicitly stated that we're "just friends".

Also I'm not focusing too much of my energy onto her, I've been going out heaps and she sees how valuable my time is. Seeing me having fun with other girls in clubs is gold. And she's sending me more messages, and meeting invitations. Coincidence? :cool:

The only problem for me is interjecting the sexual innuendo. I'd rather stay her friend then make her think I'm super sleazy. I'll keep it playful, and do it sporadically to make sure it makes an impact.

:cool: it's happening...

[Stander]

Once you have entered the friend zone there is no escape.

Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

Move on.

totally untrue, david deangelo had some articles about guys who turned this around. It IS hard. But it CAN be done.

My college roommate is marrying a girl that LJBFed him and he's no longer beta. It was about him becoming a man and turning stuff around.

[DateDemon]

This is what I posted on a different thread but same subject


Wow everyone else is just posting how they are in the same bind and no one is helping you. Well one good thing is you said you weren't really close that helps a lot. If you see a "friend" that is a girl on less of a basis theres less of an argument that hooking up could ruin your friendship since you don't see each other much as is. Now you really have to ask yourself do you want a relationship with her or just to hook up?
That is the real question. Hooking up is easy and if you don't think you would be serious with her I would aim for a friends with bens situation.
First you need to be more dominant around her tell her what you two are going to do when you hang out start making decisions they don't have to be big just let her get used to you being in control.
Second talk about how great of a connection you feel with her emotionally and talk about how you have even gone on first dates with some awesome girls but you don't get as good of a connection as with her since you've known her and are comfortable around her.
When you are with her be flirtatious maybe not flirt with her specifically through your words but talk about sexual subjects in a joking manner make innuendos or something. Also lots of contact and touching. hugging, nudging, arm around her, kino basically.
If after all that you don't get a golden opportunity where she is looking into your eyes with that kiss me now look. Hell if you play this right you can usually even be like "you want to kiss me right now don't you" Well if you are G like me =P. There is some other tips, I usually go into a pattern I have developed over the years just for this. I don't want to type it all out this is already long enough but thats the starter kit. Get to work.