Mehow
01-11-2007, 05:48 PM
Wrote this a few weeks ago for one of my blogs ... I think it may be usefull for you guys. It was too long to fit in one post so i split it two parts.
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New Year 2007 Issue: Keeping Her – Vol 1, Compliance
This blog is a bit long – but hey it’s the New Year and I wanted to give you guys a big present!
I was running around an unnamed Southern California theme park the other day. My girl talked her way into letting me and her get into the park after they were not letting anybody in any more – so we only had an hour left. Since we only had an hour it had to be excessively stimulating. It was late and the weather wasn’t so good lately – there weren’t many people (or staff) around. We started off at the rollercoaster which I rode once screaming bloody murder the whole way (I’m afraid of heights). Then we sang Christmas songs on an un-manned ride announcement system that was very clearly labeled in big letters as “Staff Only.” Our audience gave us the ‘slow clap.’ We also pressed some mysterious green buttons but they didn’t do anything. And on our way out we pretended to work there and walked through ‘the back’ area to our car right past the security gate. Because we were ‘staff’ we get some free cotton candy too!
Plenty of stimulation. Right in the middle of all this I get a call from one of my private students, “Mehow, my girlfriend isn’t kissing me in public anymore and has been snubbing me in bed, she says its because she is sick or doesn’t feel like it.” I tell him I will get back to him and rejoin the fun. Paying attention to your girlfriend when you are with her is key and is instrumental in keeping her emotional state positive. And that is one of the keys to ‘Keeping Her.’
I just talked to my student and the conversation turned out soo beneficial to him that I decided to share this with everybody.
You see 99% percent of men in relationships don’t have any idea how to stay in the relationship. They got the girl by being fun and exiting and asking for more ‘compliance.’ There is far more to staying in a relationship then compliance, but this principle is so important that I decide to write about it here.
Compliance, in the world of pickup, is a technical term for having another person do something for you. This can be anything - a handshake, participating in a conversation, allowing to be hugged, asking questions, telling you things about her, she buying you a drink, sex and far more in truly committed relationships. The more they do for you the more they are attracted to you. In fact, compliance essentially equals attraction. Picture a person who you are madly attracted to. Now picture how far you would go for that person. More compliance creates more attraction which creates even greater compliance. Conversely, less compliance creates less attraction which creates less compliance. You get it. File this principle in your brain for a second.
Most men when they get non compliance (she won’t kiss him etc.) will just start to get all logical on the woman and say stuff like, “Baby, we are *together* so you should kiss me.” So their answer is to get logical and give her logical reasons why she should give compliance. I don’t have to tell you that this doesn’t work. You know this already. It has happened to you. You asked again and again and she said NO again and again.
Getting logical does not help your purpose for many reasons.
Women do not respond to logic. They respond to emotional stimulation. Logic forces her to think in a way that is foreign to her, which makes her believe she is doing the wrong thing. It suppresses her emotions. It would be similar to a man abandoning logic and trusting only his emotions to make a decision. This would be a foreign mental state, bringing questions into the decision.
By becoming logical, you are communicating your neediness, which instantly lowers your attraction. When you need her, you are expressing that you have lower value than her, which makes you less attractive. Lower attraction creates lower compliance creating lower attraction, etc.
Handling non compliance in a logical way frequently creates a situation that we call ‘negative compliance momentum.’ This means one person in the relationship is used to saying NO to the other person. She says NO – you ask again – she says NO – you get mad at her – she says NO some more. Unchecked, that momentum builds and builds until attraction in these situations dies on both sides and then the relationship dies. Remember that compliance equals attraction, so the less of one you have the less you have of the other.
So to keep her you have to keep her complying with you!
Inevitably she won’t always do what you want her to. She will say NO sometimes. My wild guess is that not knowing how to handle this situation is the cause of 80% of all arguments in relationships. And once enough arguing and noncompliance occurs the relationship can easily end.
So what do you do?
Don’t get logical on her or ask again or, even worse, start an argument over her inevitable non compliance. Doing these things makes no logical sense as if you got this far with her in the relationship – she probably isn’t complying because she is not into you. She isn’t complying because of some unrelated emotional factor and/or how she feels about you at that moment.
Women in relationships, regardless of what the stage of the relationship is, only comply if their emotions towards you are positive. The logic of the situation has nothing to do with it! Many of my students who (now) know how to pick up a girl will just go back to being their logical selves in the relationship once they think they ‘got her.’
I have news for you, you never 100% ‘have her.’ Not even if you are married (Read the ‘Why Husbands and Boyfriends Don’t Matter’ blog)! There is no such thing as a permanent relationship – if you think you have one then you are living in an illusion carefully crafted by society. But you can have some very solid, very permanent relationship as long as you don’t rely on logic for their permanence. Handling non compliance in the relationship is a key part of that.
_________________
mehow
'be social'
www.mehow.tv
-----
New Year 2007 Issue: Keeping Her – Vol 1, Compliance
This blog is a bit long – but hey it’s the New Year and I wanted to give you guys a big present!
I was running around an unnamed Southern California theme park the other day. My girl talked her way into letting me and her get into the park after they were not letting anybody in any more – so we only had an hour left. Since we only had an hour it had to be excessively stimulating. It was late and the weather wasn’t so good lately – there weren’t many people (or staff) around. We started off at the rollercoaster which I rode once screaming bloody murder the whole way (I’m afraid of heights). Then we sang Christmas songs on an un-manned ride announcement system that was very clearly labeled in big letters as “Staff Only.” Our audience gave us the ‘slow clap.’ We also pressed some mysterious green buttons but they didn’t do anything. And on our way out we pretended to work there and walked through ‘the back’ area to our car right past the security gate. Because we were ‘staff’ we get some free cotton candy too!
Plenty of stimulation. Right in the middle of all this I get a call from one of my private students, “Mehow, my girlfriend isn’t kissing me in public anymore and has been snubbing me in bed, she says its because she is sick or doesn’t feel like it.” I tell him I will get back to him and rejoin the fun. Paying attention to your girlfriend when you are with her is key and is instrumental in keeping her emotional state positive. And that is one of the keys to ‘Keeping Her.’
I just talked to my student and the conversation turned out soo beneficial to him that I decided to share this with everybody.
You see 99% percent of men in relationships don’t have any idea how to stay in the relationship. They got the girl by being fun and exiting and asking for more ‘compliance.’ There is far more to staying in a relationship then compliance, but this principle is so important that I decide to write about it here.
Compliance, in the world of pickup, is a technical term for having another person do something for you. This can be anything - a handshake, participating in a conversation, allowing to be hugged, asking questions, telling you things about her, she buying you a drink, sex and far more in truly committed relationships. The more they do for you the more they are attracted to you. In fact, compliance essentially equals attraction. Picture a person who you are madly attracted to. Now picture how far you would go for that person. More compliance creates more attraction which creates even greater compliance. Conversely, less compliance creates less attraction which creates less compliance. You get it. File this principle in your brain for a second.
Most men when they get non compliance (she won’t kiss him etc.) will just start to get all logical on the woman and say stuff like, “Baby, we are *together* so you should kiss me.” So their answer is to get logical and give her logical reasons why she should give compliance. I don’t have to tell you that this doesn’t work. You know this already. It has happened to you. You asked again and again and she said NO again and again.
Getting logical does not help your purpose for many reasons.
Women do not respond to logic. They respond to emotional stimulation. Logic forces her to think in a way that is foreign to her, which makes her believe she is doing the wrong thing. It suppresses her emotions. It would be similar to a man abandoning logic and trusting only his emotions to make a decision. This would be a foreign mental state, bringing questions into the decision.
By becoming logical, you are communicating your neediness, which instantly lowers your attraction. When you need her, you are expressing that you have lower value than her, which makes you less attractive. Lower attraction creates lower compliance creating lower attraction, etc.
Handling non compliance in a logical way frequently creates a situation that we call ‘negative compliance momentum.’ This means one person in the relationship is used to saying NO to the other person. She says NO – you ask again – she says NO – you get mad at her – she says NO some more. Unchecked, that momentum builds and builds until attraction in these situations dies on both sides and then the relationship dies. Remember that compliance equals attraction, so the less of one you have the less you have of the other.
So to keep her you have to keep her complying with you!
Inevitably she won’t always do what you want her to. She will say NO sometimes. My wild guess is that not knowing how to handle this situation is the cause of 80% of all arguments in relationships. And once enough arguing and noncompliance occurs the relationship can easily end.
So what do you do?
Don’t get logical on her or ask again or, even worse, start an argument over her inevitable non compliance. Doing these things makes no logical sense as if you got this far with her in the relationship – she probably isn’t complying because she is not into you. She isn’t complying because of some unrelated emotional factor and/or how she feels about you at that moment.
Women in relationships, regardless of what the stage of the relationship is, only comply if their emotions towards you are positive. The logic of the situation has nothing to do with it! Many of my students who (now) know how to pick up a girl will just go back to being their logical selves in the relationship once they think they ‘got her.’
I have news for you, you never 100% ‘have her.’ Not even if you are married (Read the ‘Why Husbands and Boyfriends Don’t Matter’ blog)! There is no such thing as a permanent relationship – if you think you have one then you are living in an illusion carefully crafted by society. But you can have some very solid, very permanent relationship as long as you don’t rely on logic for their permanence. Handling non compliance in the relationship is a key part of that.
_________________
mehow
'be social'
www.mehow.tv