Sheriff
01-11-2007, 04:54 PM
A lot of guys will be in the game for a few months, and come to a recurring problem point, which most guys have experienced at some point. You can tell who these guys are because they say things like:
* I built too much attraction
* How do I transition in to normal conversation?
* She seemed to really like me, but I couldn’t escalate
* I’m building lots of attraction in sets, but not getting laid
* I’m getting massive LMR all the time
This tends to confuse guys a lot - the girl clearly likes them, but doesn’t seem to trust them, and won’t let them escalate. Why? Because the guy has started showing sexual interest in the girl before she’s ‘earned it’ - no girl wants to think that the only reason you’re interested in her is the fact she’s female and likes you a bit.
Ideally, you want to give the impression that she’s won you over - that perhaps you weren’t sure about her at first, but because of the things she’s said, and because of the things she represents to you, you’re becoming increasingly attracted to her.
The VAH and workshops spend a bunch of time on this topic and how to do it right, but here’s something you can use tonight, which will force you to do it well.
Step One:
Write down five qualities you’re looking for in a woman’s personality. Genuine ones that you are interested in, not just stuff you think you should be interested in. For example, mine are:
* Intelligent
* Can cook
* Likes to be silly and do crazy things from time to time
* Cares deeply about other people
* Has a lot of female friends (girls who only have male friends are often very bad news…)
Make sure you write these down!
Step Two:
Once you’ve built attraction, find out if the girl you’re talking to has these qualities. It’s (almost) that simple! As they’re ones that you’re genuinely interested in, you’re going to be genuinely happy if she does, and genuinely disappointed if she doesn’t, and she’ll pick up on that.
What kind of guy finds out if girls match the criteria that he has, and is disappointed if they don’t? The kind of guy who has a lot of choice with women.
So how can you subtly find out if she has these qualities, without being the “Asks Lots Of Questions Guy”? Some people have no trouble doing this on the fly, some people need to work out how they’re going to do it first! Let’s take a few of my desired qualities, and see some examples of how I might segue in to it:
Talk about yourself first
“Something I used to love about being in Thailand was you’d get these lovely strong cooking aromas when you walked down the street, and you’d see these big pans with lots of different colours in, and hear them sizzling - it really inspired me to want to learn to cook. How about you, are you a “McCain’s Microwaved Pizzas” or a “spend three hours cooking a lovely sauce” type of girl?”
Turn it in to a bit of a silly game
“So I might not have told you, but I’m looking to kidnap a wife tonight to take back to TANZANIA where I am a PRINCE! Hrm, you’re pretty, but have you got lots of pretty friends I can kidnap too?”
Ask for examples, straight out
“What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”
As I said, you want to try and avoid the “I Am The Boring Interviewer” frame, and not just make it obvious that you’re asking her lots of questions. If she won’t answer the questions, or gives you one-word answers, chances are that you haven’t built enough attraction yet - you’re asking for compliance, and you’re getting defiance. IOD her, DHV, and ask again.
* I built too much attraction
* How do I transition in to normal conversation?
* She seemed to really like me, but I couldn’t escalate
* I’m building lots of attraction in sets, but not getting laid
* I’m getting massive LMR all the time
This tends to confuse guys a lot - the girl clearly likes them, but doesn’t seem to trust them, and won’t let them escalate. Why? Because the guy has started showing sexual interest in the girl before she’s ‘earned it’ - no girl wants to think that the only reason you’re interested in her is the fact she’s female and likes you a bit.
Ideally, you want to give the impression that she’s won you over - that perhaps you weren’t sure about her at first, but because of the things she’s said, and because of the things she represents to you, you’re becoming increasingly attracted to her.
The VAH and workshops spend a bunch of time on this topic and how to do it right, but here’s something you can use tonight, which will force you to do it well.
Step One:
Write down five qualities you’re looking for in a woman’s personality. Genuine ones that you are interested in, not just stuff you think you should be interested in. For example, mine are:
* Intelligent
* Can cook
* Likes to be silly and do crazy things from time to time
* Cares deeply about other people
* Has a lot of female friends (girls who only have male friends are often very bad news…)
Make sure you write these down!
Step Two:
Once you’ve built attraction, find out if the girl you’re talking to has these qualities. It’s (almost) that simple! As they’re ones that you’re genuinely interested in, you’re going to be genuinely happy if she does, and genuinely disappointed if she doesn’t, and she’ll pick up on that.
What kind of guy finds out if girls match the criteria that he has, and is disappointed if they don’t? The kind of guy who has a lot of choice with women.
So how can you subtly find out if she has these qualities, without being the “Asks Lots Of Questions Guy”? Some people have no trouble doing this on the fly, some people need to work out how they’re going to do it first! Let’s take a few of my desired qualities, and see some examples of how I might segue in to it:
Talk about yourself first
“Something I used to love about being in Thailand was you’d get these lovely strong cooking aromas when you walked down the street, and you’d see these big pans with lots of different colours in, and hear them sizzling - it really inspired me to want to learn to cook. How about you, are you a “McCain’s Microwaved Pizzas” or a “spend three hours cooking a lovely sauce” type of girl?”
Turn it in to a bit of a silly game
“So I might not have told you, but I’m looking to kidnap a wife tonight to take back to TANZANIA where I am a PRINCE! Hrm, you’re pretty, but have you got lots of pretty friends I can kidnap too?”
Ask for examples, straight out
“What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”
As I said, you want to try and avoid the “I Am The Boring Interviewer” frame, and not just make it obvious that you’re asking her lots of questions. If she won’t answer the questions, or gives you one-word answers, chances are that you haven’t built enough attraction yet - you’re asking for compliance, and you’re getting defiance. IOD her, DHV, and ask again.