Weird kino reaction and LMR type behavior...

[Saturn5]

So I met an HB9 from out of town through a buddy a couple weeks back... We all went out a couple nights in a row (we being she, her coworkers, and my buddy). I ran solid game on her, plenty of kino on night one that she seemed very receptive to...and on night two, I continued to escalate kino during comfort building. For example, she sat on my lap in the cab while playing with each others hands, interlocking fingers, my nose and lips lightly tickling the back of her neck, etc. She was totally hot for me. I'm certain that we would have f'd if we had had a private location, but we unfortuantely didn't (she was sharing her room with her coworkers)...so we parted ways when we dropped them off at the hotel. She told me later in a phone conv that she really wanted to hook up with me that night.

Fast forward three weeks (all that while, she had called me/texted me numerous times each day, couldn't wait to see me again, etc.)...I went to see her in her town for a weekend and she had planned for us to spend a couple of nights in two fancy hotels, sharing a bed (i.e., I assumed that we were on the same page that sex would be certain).

But the whole weekend, beginning on night one when I arrived, she was VERY weird about ANY kino whatsoever. She acted really uncomfortable with pretty much any physical contact. Not at all the way she had been the first couple of nights when we had first met.

The first night, we went out for dinner/drinks and headed back to our room. I tried kissing her when we got into bed and she barely kissed back, and generally acted super uncomfortable with the whole situation. She eventually just rolled over and fell asleep on her side of the bed.

The next day, she continued to respond poorly to kino, even though I pushed her away a few times after DHV spikes, etc. to try to build more attraction. We went out dancing that night and she was not really into dancing *with* me....just *near* me. We went back to the hotel sat in a hot tub, and went back to the room where we sat on the sofa and watched TV. She fell asleep with her head on my lap as I ran my fingers through her hair. I woke her up and got her into bed, and I tried kissing her again. Again, she didn't really kiss back...she giggled and said that my nose was cold. :rolleyes: I kissed her again and she was obviously not reciprocating, so I asked her if she was uncomfortable with this. She said "no, your nose is cold!" (my nose was NOT cold). So I plowed and kept kissing and finally pushed me away me away and said "haha, stop!". So again, she rolled over and fell asleep on her side of the bed.

So what the F happened? What might I have done to cause her to change her mind? Was she testing me somehow?? Serious LMR? Should I have plowed harder? Froze her out??

FWIW, I am an attractive and fit guy, not a sweaty fat old guy. She is 27, so not likely a nervous virgin! Any thoughts as to where/why it all went south?

[guitarz]

Bro..based on whole story .. i would guess several things

1) you should have started kino in attraction not comfort
2) in comfort you had slow her done , micro calibrate..start kissing her and roll off right at the excitement part of the kiss
3) you did not build enough comfort..you should have spent more time talking to her and telling her some personal shit about you and also showing some emotion
(switch 5 - willingess to emote)..

4) It was LMR in a way , she was probably thinking " i cant have sex with him..do i know him that well?" .. you have to prevent that thinking by showing her you care for her throughout the model...telling her things like you missed her the night you guys met up again.

Basically focus on emotions in Comfort stage and less on attracting.... once she is comfortable enough you wil move in to seduction...even if she is a virgin..if flip all the switches...there should be no problem

[oddball]

this is a no brainer

ok u kinod when you met her, good, hopefully u did it in Aphases as well as Cphases

then u number close, and u guyz text

then u fast forward 3 weeks, and already the first thing your doing when u meet her, is starting to kino her straight of the bat, u should of built it up slowly then plow her

well thats what i think, not to mention her BT at the same would of been different then 3 weeks later

[Saturn5]

Thanks for the thoughts guys. I know it's difficult for outside observers to diagnose a problem without having the luxury of observing the nuances of the situation firsthand, having to base feedback soley on my probably biased perception of the situation. So I certainly appreciate the replies.

I just want to clarify a couple points tho...

1), yes I definitely kino'd in A phases when we first met, and continued to escalate in C phases. I am confident that during the first couple of nights when we first met, I had plenty of attraction and comfort built to move into S-phase...but we just didn't have a private opportunity to act upon it.

2) In the couple weeks between our in-person meetings, we talked on the phone or did AIM for on average an hour a day during which lots of comfort was built. During those exchanges, I also received frequent IOI's and IOSI's. Believe me, I've been with enough women to have a good sense of when they are (or are not) hot for me, and she definitely conveyed that she was hot all the way up to when we met again on the second occasion. (Not to mention that she had reserved rooms for us with one bed to share...I mean, Helllllo!).

But *something* drastic happened/changed upon our second meeting, thus I want to deconstruct the situ to identify what it might have been.

My best gut *hunch* at this point is that when I first arrived in her town for our second in-person meeting, I was kind of tired and thus more shy and reserved than usual, which might have made her uncomfortable. Perhaps she had gotten used to talking on the phone/AIM, and when we finally met again she had a "relapse" of anti-slut defense?? I dunno. Part of me thinks that I didn't continue kino soon enough upon our second meeting. My attempted kiss on the first night def seemed to make things awkward/uncomfortable for the remainder of the weekend.

3) I'm not hung up on this HB in particular...I'd just like to know what mistake I made so that it isn't repeated in the future.

[Hotspur]

I think you almost have to go back into attraction in a situation like this - right off the bat hit a few BT spikes, and get her into a compliance-cycling pattern. But start small.

She's nervous. She doesn't know what to expect. So the FIRST thing you have to do is remind her of why she's hot for you.

Be a tease. Make her want more kino than you give her - it sounds almost like you kept pushing kino forward even when she was resistant ... but that's a huge mistake that generates lots of LMR.

Light kino with lots of BT spiking during dinner and drinks. Then when you get her in the room, almost back TOO far off ... make her wonder wants up. Make her want kino.

Other than that, hard to know what was up without knowing more specific details. And bear in mind that it might have had nothing to do with you ... maybe she hooked up with somebody who she wanted to have a relationship with in the 3-week break, and it wasn't that serious yet but it made it hard for her to want to be with you. In those circumstances, it's possible that nothing you could have done would have worked.

One mistake I've made time and time again, however, if accepting "okay, I guess it can't happen tonight" and assuming things will advance easily the next time I see her ... and they rarely do. So make a promise to yourself:

Don't let stupid logistical things ("where are we going to do it?") stop you. Ever. Imagine you were the lead in a movie - what crazy, imaginative things would you do to try to find a place to have sex? Would you rent a hotel room? Borrow a car? Find a secluded park? What?

(Sounds like you could have afforded to rent a hotel room that first night. So you should have.)

When it's on, it's on. Strike while the iron is hot. DESTROY logistical obstacles. Think of how attractive to women the men is who is inventive, imaginative, spontaneous, and willing to put all of that into finding ways to spend time with her. They LOVE that.

Be that guy.

[oddball]

i was gonna say that usual "strike while the iron is hot" phrase but i passed

btw why didnt you see her earlier??

[oddball]

i was gonna say that usual "strike while the iron is hot" phrase but i passed

btw why didnt you see her earlier??

[Saturn5]

Crap, I never replied to you on this, Hotspur. Sorry about that, because you really put your usual above-and-beyond thought into this...so thank you!
And as usual, I think you 100 percent nailed it.

I agree completely that, first, I should have struck while the iron was hot when I first met her. Not to make excuses, but it WAS honestly a tricky situation. It was almost 3am by the time we dropped her and her coworkers off at their hotel, and they were leaving for the airport at 7am to catch a plane that same morning. It would have been very tough to isolate her from her coworkers (they were sharing a room) not to mention have her back in time to make her flight all within less than 4 hours, and make it appear to her coworkers like nothing had happened.

I also agree 100 percent that when I visited her in her town, I should have pretty much taken it from the top and started with attraction-compliance cycling, and should have done more rolling off when she rejected kino.

Another learning experience to chalk up to "school days", I guess.

I'm always amazed by your (and AWolf's) uncanny abilities to pick apart any given scenario, when you only have bits and pieces of second-hand data to work with.

[Planet]

BTW: I am pretty sure that you know that girls who are on vacation (or away from home, as your case was) are more likely to do things out of their comfort zone than when they are back in their home town.

I guess that isn't much help, huh. Just don't get down on yourself, and try to decide whether it is really worth the effort to go out and see her again. I mean, the mental effort of texting / AIMing can get pretty tiring if you always have to be on your game.