Silver's Letter-Passing Game

[-Silver-]

Ok this is a routine I have field-tested countless times, and is perfect for bus or train scenarios!

Usually the environment is going to be crowded, especially if it's a school bus, and in these situations I noticed that a lot of girls completely switch off for the entire journey by sticking a pair of earphones in and listening to music.
'Great...' I would think. 'How the hell do I game her when she can't even hear me?'
Listening to music is an 'incognito' way of saying 'I don't want to talk to anyone right now.' So obviously if you try talking to her, she's going to start with a bad impression of you now that you've invaded into her alone-time.

Here's what I came up with! It's a way of communicating with her in a fun and interesting way right from the start! First of all, I stick in a pair of earphones too and listen to music myself. That way when the game starts, and the girl sees im listening to my own music, she doesn't feel like she has to stop her own.
You'll need a pen and a sheet of paper (I use A4 and fold it in half). Write on the top line of the paper:

Let's start one of those really childish letter-passing games! (You write here) Then draw an arrow pointing to the next line down. Making the arrow big and bold, rather than thin, conveys extra personality. That's basic artistic stuff, trust me :P Then pass it to her, flash a smile when you make eye-contact, and sit back as you wait for her to pass the paper back to you. Make sure you pass the pen too! Don't make her get her own out of her bag! You don't have to be sitting right next to her for this to work, just nearby. Try an position yourself on the adjacent seat, so there's only the bus or train aisle inbetween you. Equally, try and avoid sitting behind her so she just get the feeling of you looking over her shoulder the whole time.

Here's an example of how one of the letters went (me in purple, her in green)

Ok is it meant to go back and forth between us two or around the bus!? lol

That depends on what we're gona be saying to each other doesn't it? Some people might be too young.

Lol lots! Ok well let's start with something simple. What's your name and what do you do at college?

Silver (long story don't ask) and I study Countryside Management. Wow it's hard to write on a bus isn't it! Your turn (I actually have a DHV story created for my 'nickname' but no-one seems to ask about it... makes me mad! :P

Lol ok then, kool. Yeah it is my writing is really scruffy on here, lol. I'm Sophie and I study Animal Management. And no not 'coz I'm a girl who likes fluffy bunnies! lol

Then you must love baby polar bears right? How much do you think polar bears weigh? I think 500 pounds, but my friend says 3 tonnes...

Excuse me while I turn the page...
There we go!

Lol indeed I do! OMG I have no idea! lol erm i'll say 1 tonne. Something I do know is that the shire horse is the 2nd strongest animal in the world! The elephant is the only animal stronger! How kool! What sort of things do you study during your course? (The first and last time I tried the polar bear routine!)

Wow strong horse! (stored in random facts file) Here's one for you regarding elephants - The first bomb dropped by the allies in WWII killed the only elephant in Berlin zoo. I study conservation, sustainable development, habitat management etc. Hmmm getting pretty close to your stop. That space below is the perfect size for your msn address!

lol v. kl - (msn address here) but I don't actually have msn - check myspace! (she got msn that very night just so she could talk with me :P)

I've found some interesting replies to the first line, but never had a single one of these games end without a number or msn addy. Some girls will reply to the first line with something like ''coz that's not random...', in which i reply again with 'Yup! But you look like you need cheering up.' which always works for me.
One girl even replied with a blunt 'no', but i still got a conversation rolling by writing 'My bad, I thought you seemed like a fun and interesting person', and that led her to start qualifying herself!

Hope this helps some of you guys out, let me know how it goes if you try it! I want to know if this works as well for you as it does for me! Peace out

-Silver-

[Savvy]

First off, thanks for sharing your experience with bus/train game. I reside in NYC as a college student and I use public transportation daily. Figuring out how to open to women in these settings has eluded me for quite some time but now I feel inspired to experiment with personal variations.

One thing I would like to ask though, is how did you know the girl was approaching her stop to get an eclose? I bring this up because it may be easier on a campus bus route rather than a public subway where they could abruptly depart.


Thanks,

Savvy

[junkyfungus]

This sounds like a winner!

Now if only I could find myself a bus to test this gem out.

[Nasarius]

Good stuff, Silver. Sounds a bit like the premade flashcards I use at loud clubs. But wouldn't a steno pad be much more convenient than A4 looseleaf? Just flip to a blank page and start writing, then pass. Otherwise, what are you writing on?

Savvy: the NYC subways are tough. Expect women to have their guard waaay up. And if you're crammed onto a train during rush hour, well, there's not much you can do. Definitely no space to write on anything. I'm sure it's possible to do a successful approach, but it's a huge challenge. I'd go for opening with small talk and a smile rather than any gimmick.

Personally, I've always liked Union Square in Manhattan. Tons of college-aged kids sitting on the steps on a nice day, and plenty of cool bars and restaurants nearby. I can't wait to be home in a couple weeks.

[relics]

The fundamentals have been around but props on refining, and extending.

The only flaw is that my bus rides are relatively not very long. And I'd never hop on the bus just to game:P

[-Silver-]

@Savvy: This was a girl i'd had my eye on for a while, and there are only two stops on our college bus. It's not like I'm psychic or anything :P
So long as you can portray this game in a fun, interesting way, it should work just as well on public transport and has done for me. Make sure to smile, that's worth stressing, otherwise you WILL come across as a crazy kid!

@Nasarius: I'm a college student and so I always carry a pad of A4 with me. You're right though, there wouldn't be anything wrong with using a flip pad, use whatever works best for you man!

@Relics: Short bus rides might not be a bad thing. In fact I always wished my bus journeys were shorter when I was initially testing this. If it could have ended badly, I would have wanted the possible awkward moment to be over asap! If you are able to convey a fun and interesting personality, then there shouldn't be any reason why the girl won't want to get to know you better, regardless of how long the game lasts.
In fact, if it's a regular girl who you are using this on, you could always try and re-initiate the game the next time she's on the bus. Even with the same sheet of paper for humour! Might be worth testing...

[Cedar]

Listening to music is an 'incognito' way of saying 'I don't want to talk to anyone right now.'


This is incorrect. Girls listen to music or talk on their cell when they are alone. They're not shutting themselves off from their environment. They're protecting themselves from feelings of isolation and vulnerability. She's not saying I don't want to talk to anyone. She's saying I feel isolated. Being laid back and letting her feel in control of the interaction is key.

Use FTCs to ease her mind. Tell her you're off at the next stop but you had to meet her.

[-Silver-]

I'm pretty sure they are shutting themselves off from their environment to be honest. I see where you're coming from, but if I ever get on public transport that I'm used to, like a college bus, I tend to switch off completely.

I think: 'Ok, half an hour bus journey, what the hell should I do? Listen to music! Or read a book!' and I completely lose myself in the music or the book. I don't stay very aware of the environment at all, because I'm used to it.

In some cases they may still be aware. If someone is catching a bus or a train as a one-off and they aren't used to the journey, they'll need to stay alert for when their stop approaches. Otherwise I'm pretty sure it's a sign that they are just filling in the time by listening to music, and shutting down a large proportion of their awareness.

This creates a state of isolation, rather than protecting them from it as you suggested. I can't think of anything short than taking a page out of Jesus' book (the bible last I heard) and wandering around in a desert for 40 days, that is more anti-social than plugging in earphones and listening to music.
Whilst they are in this state, it makes sense that they wil be far more willing to converse with you if you don't force them to come completely out of that state. So allowing them to continue listening to music (highlighted by the fact that you are listening to your own) will give you a much better head-start in gaming them.

No reason that once rapport is established you can't write down: 'So are you going to talk with me soon, or keep listening to Britney Spears for the whole journey? :P'

I appreciate the comment Cedar, and feel free to argue the point if you think I'm really missing something here, but as far as my experience goes listening to a walkman or mp3 player is a sign that people aren't in the frame of mind for talking.

-Silver-

[FlashVW]

Thanks for the line, "Let's start one of those really childish letter-passing games! (You write here)". I hope you don't mind me using it.
Cheers,
Flash.

[Cedar]

...feel free to argue the point if you think I'm really missing something here...

You're thinking this from a perspective of your own experience. And the experience of most people. More attractive girls add an edge of safety and personal comfort to mundane locals that you & I don't pick up on. Being sensitive to their safety concern adds an edge to your game.

This is why stalker and psycho jokes work. You're inoculating their concern. Ask yourself what her worst fear is when you approach, and twist it into a joke.

This ties into Lovedrop's social violation theory. Identify the social norms you're breaking and address them.

[FlashVW]

I really enjoyed Lovedrop's social violation theory. It clears up so much.