Need help with damage control.....

[Magic_man]

Background

Ok so I managed to enter an LTR with a friend from two years ago.

She has had many bad relationships and therefore has a "fear" of entering into them.

I hav managed to get her to say "I'll go with that" when I say things like you know you love me or for her to say "and?" when I say because you love me.

She agreed to have no other male and we were living together and gettting our own place.

I gained enough trust to be able to watch her son (3yrs).

The last few months Ive been under much stress andf have begin DLVing

She agrees that I have been different......


The situation

Two nights ago I told her that she has 24 hours to tell me exactly where we stand in the relationship. This angered her and now I face the following:


Everything I have built up she is now getting rid of, we are on a just friends basis, BUT I have the chance to get it back.

I have the following disadvantages:

Before she agrred to the last statment ( a few hours" she said gave the following stipulations:

No more sex, No more kissing, MUCH less time spent together more
and no more getting a place.

She has a friend that is VERY influential, (the 8 year friend) and can make her sart switcing veiws on reality, who is trying to amog me out and prevent us from being together. She lives with her parents.

She kept trying to force a LJBF

She now considers herself available.

Shes an HB9-10, and but acts like an HB4-5


I have the following in my favor:

When she said she didnt date friends I pointed out a friend that she knew for 8 years that she ended up dating (Ive known her for around two total) and

she responded with the following text scenario:

Her: I wont chance messin up more friendships cuza hormones...

Me: I thought u knew it is more than that

Her: Maybe it is but at times it dont seem like much more than that. well either way i cant keep my eyes open nemore n ima already miss court so 4 real im goin 2 sleep now.

I then sent her a text saying that she should text me later so I can continue that convo, she did but said she didnt see what else could be said.

After a few hours of talking I got her to settlt with her saying the following:

"Well we can b cool 4 now n see where it goes but i really dont know what else to tell u..."

Later that night i got her to say the following concerning getting a place together: Idk. Maybe after a while....



What I am currently doing:

I began raising my value:

Every1 she knows is in or near low level income, no more than $12 an hr.

I got a $80,000 a year job, and am currently 4-5 spots away from chairrman of the board and in 2 years I will be 1 spot down making $250,000.

I'm increasing my social circle, I have some 1 with a million dollaar inheretence (around 1 -5 million)

I am now spending significantly less time with her, from everday to every three day (varying)

I am going to start RE-Gaming her from a stand point as if we just met.

I'm also going back to behaviour when we first hooked up.


The question:

Ignoring the whole oneitiss term

Does anyone have suggestions on things to avoid, things to do, and ways to speed the up into a 1 one 1 LTR? Even products or seminars recomended.

Thanks for your time.

[Magic_man]

To difficult a task for you?

It's allright. Guess PUA's arent that good at relationships anyways...

[-Silver-]

"Ignoring the whole oneitis term"

I like the way you included that. Because i'm sure you know that's what the problem is. Let me get this straight... you've been in a relationship with a girl who has major problems with comittment, doesn't tell you she loves you, and got so angry when you asked her simply "where do we stand in this relationship?" that she pretty much ended the whole thing if she is now 'available'. I'm going to ask this, because I think you're avoiding asking it yourself: Are you sure you're not placing her on a pedestal and acting as though there isn't any other woman out there for you?

Seriously man, you've got an awesome career DHV listed there, and combining that with an awesome personality and cared-for appearance will bowl women over left right and centre! You should seriously consider if this girl really matches you as a life partner, and if you can genuinely see a future with her. You have a lot more options here than you might realize! Of course, if you definitely want to follow this up and seriously think that being with her is in the best interest for the both of you, then read on.

Spending time apart from her is a good move at this point, even though it will be incredibly difficult to keep up. Abscence really does make the heart grow fonder, and she'll be more inclined to remember all of your good points if she sees you less. It's just how the mind works. Improving your social circle is a good thing for you, but this shouldn't be motivated purely by the concept of winning back the girl. Try to see the other advantages that a strong, successful group of friends can bring into your life!
I'm worried when you say "I'm also going back to behaviour when we first hooked up." I'm really concerned that your trying to shape your life around her without any concern for yourself. If you want to change your behaviour it should be for a positive benefit in all aspects of your life. Do you really feel that it needs to be changed? And if so in which areas? Perhaps changing it to how it was when you first met would be detrimental, when instead you could seriously analyze aspects of yourself that need altering, and change them to make an even better version of you! Do you think she'd prefer to see you scrambling back to an older version of yourself in order to get her back, or advancing yourself in order to prove that you're making a lot of positive changes in your life?
Her best friend may be biased against you, but remember there is never smoke without fire. As the best friend she will only want what's best for her, and even if her comments about you may be exaggerated beyond belief to achieve this, see if you can find any truths in them which you can use to iron out any creases in yourself.

Really all I can tell you to do is improve yourself and hope she recognizes the changes. You've even asked for ways to 'speed up' the process of making this a monogomous relationship, which just makes me really worried that you're prizing this girl far more than you should. Only change yourself it will make you happier across the broad spectrum that is your life, not just to show this girl that you can leap through any ring of fire she puts up in order to get her back. Because let's face it - wanting to know where you stand in a relationship is a perfectly understandable question to ask. I honestly believe that she might have been looking for a way out of this relationship for a while, and just used this as a reason. This entire community is here for you if you want to shape yourself into a better person, and if it turns out that this girl really is worth fighting for, notices all the changes and successes in your life, and wants to be there to support you through them in return for you supporting her... then great! But just keep an open mind, and ask yourself if you can really see that sort of future with her.

Stay happy man, and if you have any questions at all, don't hesitate to ask. Everyone is here to help out!

-Silver-

[-Silver-]

To difficult a task for you?

It's allright. Guess PUA's arent that good at relationships anyways...

Not too difficult, just that we don't all hang around our computers 24/7 =P

Besides, i'm sure you'd appreciate detailed responses as opposed to quick and short ones right?

-Silver-

[Magic_man]

Yeah, sorry I come off as a bit stand offish when typing.

I havent found too much info on relationships from pickup artists.

As for the previous behaviour, yeah it was better.

As for her, she so far been the only person Ive actually enjoyed dating, anc this is from experience (over 2,000 lays, and 100 Gf's). So its not so much a pedastal as a certain rarity, I can find pple who look like her, few that act similiar, and none that have both.

Shes turned down offers for modeling porn star positions, so she has alot of self respect.

Her problem comes from the fact that the people who demonstrate the attraction switches here are some of the worst in the world (my city has been dubbed the meth capital of the world). So as for the speeding up its more of a worry for her well being.

[Cro]

anc this is from experience (over 2,000 lays, and 100 Gf's). So its not so much a pedastal as a certain rarity

Wow, that made me laugh...thank you, had a lousy day so far.

Dude these forums are for self betterment, and we're willing to help. But we can't help a KJ that advocates lies and false statements online. My god man, at least keep your number believable.

[matrixx]

Wow, that made me laugh...thank you, had a lousy day so far.

Dude these forums are for self betterment, and we're willing to help. But we can't help a KJ that advocates lies and false statements online. My god man, at least keep your number believable.


What's so funny buddy? I've beat Wilt Chamberlain's record of 10,000. I'm currently on girl # 11,766. :cool:

[Doctor D]

What's so funny buddy? I've beat Wilt Chamberlain's record of 10,000. I'm currently on girl # 11,766. :cool:

I can believe the lays, not the number of girlfriends though.

[checkers]

Man, assuming that you're 28, and lost your virginity at 15, thats 4745 days you've been having sex (and no I'm not going to figure in leap year). That, is over 2 women a DAY for 13 years. Come on now man, there's no point in blatantly lying on here, it just makes you look stupid.

[Magic_man]

do this math, you dont have to just have 1 person per day, keep in mind threesome and fourseomes...

also keep in mind that not all females expect you to be just with them. how many people there are etc. now take losing virginity at 15 and that I'm turing 22 in 3 days you have the following:

22-15= 7 years

7*365=2555 (amount of days, excluding leap years)

2555/2000 (lays)=1.2775 (how many people per day)

2555/100(amount of LTR)=25.55 days(how long each lasted on average.

So thats only 1 person a day to do that, and an average of 25.5 day per relationship. and every 20th person turning into an LTR (2000/100=20)
Now keep in mind someday you do better others you do worse, and its a very managable figure.


There are plenty of people who have beat that.

[Decibel]

I wouldn't think this gives you much leftover time for personal growth, hobbies, meditation, etc...I would at least want a sick day every so often.

I personally stopped counting partners after 643,032,128.

[Cro]

what point is there to making false statements on internet forums ? Do you feel better about yourself by telling others that you have slept with a couple thousand women, because no one other than 2 very influential young men even take you seriously, so it really doesn't do much for ya buddy

But yeah, also wanted to take this opportunity to tell everyone that I banged Lindsey Lohan, Alissa Milano, Bruce Lee and that I kicked Chuck Norris's ass last night, while playing chess with the Pope and getting a BJ from Gossip Girl

[Maako]

do this math, you dont have to just have 1 person per day, keep in mind threesome and fourseomes...

also keep in mind that not all females expect you to be just with them. how many people there are etc. now take losing virginity at 15 and that I'm turing 22 in 3 days you have the following:

22-15= 7 years

7*365=2555 (amount of days, excluding leap years)

2555/2000 (lays)=1.2775 (how many people per day)

2555/100(amount of LTR)=25.55 days(how long each lasted on average.

So thats only 1 person a day to do that, and an average of 25.5 day per relationship. and every 20th person turning into an LTR (2000/100=20)
Now keep in mind someday you do better others you do worse, and its a very managable figure.


There are plenty of people who have beat that.

wow! Thanks so much for the laugh this morning. I was laughing so hard this morning at your "math" that I fell out of my chair. I don't really post that much but I just had to add my feedback. Me being a bit older then you (I'm 38), I have to just give you a piece of advice: Stay away from drugs! They have made you delusional, Magic.

It is important that you know that masturbation does not count as a "lay" or a "HB". Even if you have named all of your fingers, drawn faces and put little wigs on them(this is the foursome you were talking about right?).

[Cathal]

what point is there to making false statements on internet forums ? Do you feel better about yourself by telling others that you have slept with a couple thousand women, because no one other than 2 very influential young men even take you seriously, so it really doesn't do much for ya buddy

But yeah, also wanted to take this opportunity to tell everyone that I banged Lindsey Lohan, Alissa Milano, Bruce Lee and that I kicked Chuck Norris's ass last night, while playing chess with the Pope and getting a BJ from Gossip Girl

Yo! Lidsey's a lame fuck aint she? And that gossip girl fuckin scrapes, too, she's bunk dude. Step up to my level: I hate fucked Britney. :cool:

[Decibel]

Gossip Girl uses too much teeth.