How to get an ex?

[Transcendence]

Hey Everyone, I’m new to this forum and as well as gooch, I also saw Mystery on Conan O’Brian and was immediately interested in this venture. It was a strange coincidence that I stumbled onto this site, as I NEVER watch Conan. But I don’t believe in coincidences so there must be something here for me.

I’m a little confused though about whether there is a book trying to be sold from these guys. I found the book, “The Game” by Neil Strauss, but it just looks like an auto-bio deal. I found the “in-field” training deal, but is that all there is? If any of you could recommend any books, it’d be much appreciated.

I’ve read some of the posts in this forum and it sounds like you guys know your stuff. I have a situation that could use some advice if you’re willing

I once had a girl friend that was completely amazing, literally the world to me. Unfortunately, we broke up because she hooked up with some guy and soon after started dating him. We went our separate ways but four months after we started talking to each other again. We had realized how much we missed each other. She was still dating that other guy so we decided to do the friends thing. It worked well, even though she knew I still had feelings for her. I started doing what I guess you guys call “boyfriend destroying” and it worked well, even though I wasn’t conscious about how I did it. So they start having problems (YES!) and eventually cheats on her (the exact way she did to me). She’s devastated and I move in to help her through her troubles. We start hanging out more and more and eventually she tells me that she’s never been more attracted to me than at that moment. I thought I had it in the bad at that moment but I wasn’t able to seal the deal. About two weeks later her and this other guy start dating.

She starts going to school and seeing her new bf a lot so I never really get to see her. We started growing apart and are losing commonalties fast. We don’t talk really at all anymore and it seems she’s trying to tie up loose ends when we do. In about half a month it may be our final meeting, but I still think there might be something there between us. My goal for this lil’ get together is to make her have some sort of interest in me again and hopefully, with your advice I can pull this off. I’m not set on the outcome of this though, so I feel that there’s no pressure going into this.

Also, by chance, I ran into a mutual friend of me and my ex that I haven’t seen in ages. When I saw her, she seemed REALLY impressed with me and even said the "Wow, you look good" line. She most likely told my ex about our meeting and how awesome I'm doing. This friend invited me to come into where she works some time and have tea. So I’m thinkin there must be a way to use this friend to my advantage in getting my ex to have interest in me again.

Any thoughts?

[sCindo]

Haha I'm not sure how you missed the adds for the Venusian Arts Handbook on your little journey from the homepage to these forums. But yeah, The Game is a story book that sort of introduces you to the scene and who everyone is.

The VAH (Venusian Arts Handbook) is alot more technical and contains ALOT of handy info as well as example lines and stories to illistrate some of the main points.

I will try to field the rest of your question when I get home, but for now I have to go out.

Cya

[Transcendence]

The VAH sounds interesting, is it only available thru this website?

[sh00t]

Venusian Arts isnt about one chic....You're situation sounds like "one-itis". Get With Ten Other Girls, then review your feelings for her...You should buy Mysterys book, you can get it basically anyway...amazon.com...etc. Learn more about the game and just go out and sarge....(i know i know, easier said that done).

[Yoda]

Trand, you probably came here for one chick, and most guys do (i know I did), but you'll continue to come back because you want the lifestyle.

One of the most basic rules, and one that I struggled with was that you have to be detached from the situation. That is, if you really care for this girl, you cannot "chase her" now. Or ever.

Eventually when you become proficient, you WILL attract women. And then, if your still interested in her, you'll be able to have her chase you.

The most important thing you can do right now is be unreactive and show her active disinterest.

[Transcendence]

I'm aware that there are a million other ladies just like her out there, but atm, I just want to make it so I don't loose ties with this one in a million girl

What's the TMM?

[kas]

I'm aware that there are a million other ladies just like her out there, but atm, I just want to make it so I don't loose ties with this one in a million girl

What's the TMM?

VAH = Venusian Arts Handbook
TMM = The Mystery Method

Basically, they're both the same book but VAH is a newer version.

Anyway, while The Game looks like an autobiography, it's actually a novel in which quite a few techniques and 'gurus' are introduced. And it reads like a novel too, a little biased at times though. For example, Tyler Durden isn't portrayed as the nicest guy - but either he changed or the description is false.

My suggestion is that you read the book and then just check out the gurus' websites.

[Cedar]

...I once had a girl friend that was completely amazing, literally the world to me. Unfortunately, we broke up because she hooked up with some guy and soon after started dating him...

This is called one-itis. You have a scarcity mindset by placing this girl on a pedestal. I don't care how amazing she was. You can do better. All of us can. There's thousands of girls out there. The more of them you date, the better you can lead the relationship. Practice makes perfect.

...So they start having problems (YES!) and eventually cheats on her (the exact way she did to me). She’s devastated and I move in to help her through her troubles....

Are you seriously telling me you want to date a habitual cheater? This girl has emotional issues. Maybe daddy didn't love her enough. You need to let her go.

...We start hanging out more and more and eventually she tells me that she’s never been more attracted to me than at that moment. I thought I had it in the bad at that moment but I wasn’t able to seal the deal. About two weeks later her and this other guy start dating...

The best you'll get with this girl is a hook up before she runs off to the next boy. Next.

...We don’t talk really at all anymore and it seems she’s trying to tie up loose ends when we do...

You're communicating to her that you want a relationship with her. When she thinks of you as a friend. And yes, friends can be attracted to one another. Doesn't mean it will go anywhere.

... In about half a month it may be our final meeting, but I still think there might be something there between us. My goal for this lil’ get together is to make her have some sort of interest in me again and hopefully, with your advice I can pull this off. I’m not set on the outcome of this though, so I feel that there’s no pressure going into this...

There's a way to do this. It involves getting in field and fucking ten girls. Seriously. I'm not being a dick about that. Fuck ten girls you meet on the street or the bar using game. Not liquor or friends of a friend or speed dating or whatever. Ten cold approach lays.

Why? It will modify your mindset and skill set. Should be enough to get you this girl.

...I’m thinking there must be a way to use this friend to my advantage in getting my ex to have interest in me again. ...

Not really. Unless you fuck her so hard she cums a dozen times. You do that...and the ex might want you for sex. But not necessarily for dating.


You need field time to develop your skills and experience. And you need to stop placing so much importance in this girl. There's a few million girls in the world. Chances are, a few thousand are attractive to you. And craploads of those will be just as agood a relationship as this girl you're obsessing over.

[-Silver-]

I can completely relate to where you're coming from and how you're feeling Transcendence. This was exactly what my mind was fixed on at first, getting back with my amazing ex gf, who no-one compared to, and who I'd spent a whole 2 years of my life with!

I recommend you read The Game, get to grips with the basic principles and terminology, then re-read Cedar's post right above mine here. Sounds harsh I know, I got identical advice! :P But he couldn't be more right. Now that i'm beginning to internalize the game, im realizing those 2 years were almost a complete waste of my life, save for the fact that without them i would never have realized how much a long-term loving relationship sucks compared to being able to walk into a different party or club every night, and leave with a different girl's number or saliva every night.
I went to a party friday night and got pissed with myself that I only left with one girl's number. Then i cracked up laughing! Most guys pray to the heavens that they hook up with a girl at their next party. And now here I am, and apparently one girl per party isn't good enough for me!? Meeting loads of new girls will make you realize that your ex wasn't that special after all. Trust me on that one!

I know you must be feeling low right now buddy, but this community can and will help you any way we can to get you through this crap phase! If you want any advice, feel free to message me. Stay happy man!

-Silver-

[relics]

Oh you sociopaths. I have oneitis...for almost every girl I find attractive emotionally and physically. Simple.

People are always going to want what they can't have. Especially if they lose it, and the said lost item raises value.
ie
back in afc land where my ex suddenly got a tan, worked out three times a week, and got her eyebrows waxed, and or Mystery with his Ex from Toronto in the Game.

If you want her back, get your life in line. Make it exciting. Make it something she WANTS to be a part of. Make her see that you can walk in any fuckin place and walk out with a phone number. Make her see what a great guy you really are. I guarantee you that she'll be back in your arms rather soon.

[-Silver-]

If you want her back, get your life in line. Make it exciting. Make it something she WANTS to be a part of. Make her see that you can walk in any fuckin place and walk out with a phone number. Make her see what a great guy you really are. I guarantee you that she'll be back in your arms rather soon.

Gotta be careful with this one man, it's not always true.

In my case, I broke up with my ex because we had gradually changed into different people over the two years we spent together. We weren't in love with the partner we were now with, but the partner we had at the start of the relationship.

My ex is still a friend of mine. We end up going to the same parties and she constantly sees me surrounded by girls, and walking away with their numbers. This just fortifies in her mind that I'm a different person, and the not she guy she loved. Showing her that you're now a completely different person, and someone who can have any other girl, may have the opposite effect.

I'm sure it can work if you're demonstarting higher value and entertainment, but this certainly isn't a definite when it comes to an ex-gf. And not worth getting your hopes up for in my opinion.

And secondly relics, if that's what you think one-itis is, then I'd have to wonder if you've truly experienced it, at least in all it's glorified agony :P

-Silver-

[relics]

Oh I have. (had that feeling wash over me as soon as I saw they signed on once. Yep I had it bad) But it's my reframe, and I think it works.

SO what you're saying is...she likes the old you? The old you that wasn't this great person that's standing before you in the mirror today? Granted, don't take her to places you know you're gonna run sets, but it's the matter of her knowing you have the ABILITY to do that is just enough.

[Transcendence]

Well I took ur guys advice and moved on without looking back. I said hay, this is good bye so i'll cya never. Then i left and she seemed shocked. New ladies are going to be coming my way so i can't think of this one any more

[-Silver-]

Stick with that attitude man! It'll be tough at first but you'll be so much happier when you're able to walk into clubs and bars, see a girl, and walk out with her number. Your ex won't seem all that special for long, trust me i've been there :P

-Silver-