Do you ever get the spider sense?
That feeling where you just KNOW a nearby set wants to be opened?
Don’t worry, you will.
When I first got into the game I relied on my wings to point out sets behind me. This is the best way to work with a wingman, because it allows you to open over your shoulder without looking around to see who was behind you. It also means that I can engage my wing in conversation while simultaneously watching for openable sets behind him.
This is where a lot of PUAs make mistakes when they first get into the game. They will stand at the bar with their wings and constantly look all around them for nearby sets to open. The problem is, if you’re constantly looking around for sets, you aren’t talking with your wingman. To the rest of the room, you are just two bored guys who are scanning the room for value. Any girl who sees this – even out of the corner of her eye – will subconsciously register that you are a low-value guy. Most guys give off a predatory vibe when they scan for sets this way: they will furrow their brows, stare at the hot girls in the room, and NOT SMILE. Girls want to be opened by the guys who are out there having fun with their friends. By value-scanning this way you can blow yourself out for the entire room before you can even open a set!
So my wings and I would position ourselves in areas of the venue in such a way that we could laugh and joke and have fun while each of us observed what was behind the other so that we could tell them when to just turn and open. This method of working with your wing also helps you with approach anxiety and “analysis paralysis”. When your wing tells you there is a set behind you, you must trust your wing that they are approachable. You are not allowed to turn around and check them out. If any group in the set sees you turn around check them out, then turn back to your wing, muster up the courage, and then (sometimes minutes later) turn and approach them… you are already out. Instead, you have to follow the three second rule: you don’t look, you don’t consider what your opener is going to be, you just turn and say “hey guys real quick…” and run whatever opener comes into your head. If you follow these rules, you will find that your indirect approaches will hook much easier AND your AA will drop drastically as you build the habit of just turning and opening without even thinking about it.
I also developed an unconscious habit of positioning myself so that I could see what was behind me. I particularly loved bars that had mirrors behind them because they allowed me to check the body language of whoever was in my vicinity without looking around and conveying interest before I even opened. This became super helpful when I first moved to Toronto and was sarging alone quite a bit.
Then, as more time went by, I found myself developing what felt like a supernatural ability to know not only when there is a set behind you, but also whether or not they are amicable to being opened. We call it the spider sense, like Spiderman’s almost precognitive ability to know when there is danger nearby. You’ll just be standing there with your friends laughing and talking, and then suddenly you’ll get this feeling that there is a girl behind you and that she wants to be opened. It’s like it just pops into your head: this strange feeling that if you just turned and started into your opener not only would someone be there, but they would respond positively. So you don’t think about it, you don’t turn to scan and see if there is anyone there. You just immediately turn and start start talking and, low and behold, there is a group of girls behind you smiling and very interested in what you have to say.
This is partly why Lovedrop refers to the Venusian Arts as a superpower. But only partly, because this applies not only to knowing when there is a set to be opened, but to literally every other aspect in the game as well! Everything from when to qualify, when to move her around the venue, when to kino escalate, etc. And there’s only one way to develop this superpower, and it’s called:
Yup, not as exciting as a radioactive spider, but far less dangerous. You need to get out into the field and open sets and develop this superpower over the course of hundreds of approaches. Sound daunting? Maybe at first. But once you see how easy it can be to open a set in this way it becomes incredibly fun and far less stressful. And by breaking bad habits such as hesitating to approach, or scanning for sets, you will find that your sets in general will go much better.
This is a superpower everyone can develop with enough practice. And if you really want to get the hang of opening effectively QUICKLY, do Mystery’s Newbie Drill: Make 3 approaches per hour, 4 hours per night, 4 nights per week. Assuming a 30 day month, this is about 200 approaches per month. And if you really want to reduce your learning curve, our botcamps and one-on-one training programs can help you sky-rocket your game.