Review: ‘The Pick-Up Artist’ on VH1
Every week, "The Pick-Up Artist" begins with a group hug. The contestant who narrowly escaped elimination in the previous episode returns to the rest of the survivors and is fully embraced by them, in a combination of brotherhood and desperation.
There is much to loathe about "The Pick-Up Artist" (VH1, Sundays at 10 p.m.), from its astonishingly callous disregard for women to its sometimes laughable protagonists, but this moment is unfailingly genuine. There are nominal alliances and friendships between certain players, all socially awkward young men badly in need of a confidence boost and a personal shopper, but mainly each sees himself in the others. A victory for any one is, by extension, a victory for all.
From week to week on this show, you can watch these men being nourished, with transformations no less revelatory than those on "The Biggest Loser." Their tour guide into the world of human interaction is Mystery, a well-known leader in the "seduction community" (their term, not mine), who plies the noble trade of instructing the hapless on how to be less so, particularly in regard to women. He speaks deliberately, is irritatingly sure of himself and dresses ridiculously (last week, he paired what appeared to be shiny vinyl pants with a furry top hat; tonight he sports goggles similar to those Snoopy wears when fighting the Red Baron). It should come as little shock that in his previous life, Mystery was a magician.
And here, magic — shaking off the past and giving one’s personality a complete reboot — is what Mystery sells. This season’s contestants, a predictable assortment of virgins, dweebs and eccentrics, badly need the help. They are given haircuts, piercings and the wardrobe of the average unbearable Hollywood nightclub denizen. Then they are brainwashed with a series of tricks on how to chat up women that are largely designed to destabilize and recalibrate the interaction so that the man remains in control. Each week, they are sent into the field, generally a club, to practice their game.
Mystery says things like, "The contestant who kino-escalates" — that’s "kino," as in touch, and escalates, as in successfully — "to a kiss, while preserving comfort in the target, will win the field test." Sexy, right?
Mystery is accompanied by two wings, or assistants: the stoic and flamboyant Matador, who is the show’s secret star, and Tara, a young woman of great empathy and curvature. (Last season’s second male wing, the creepy J-Dog, is nowhere to be found.) Tara, who helped with some challenges in the first season, lends an imprimatur of female approval to the show, a necessary corrective that would be welcome if it weren’t so ridiculous.
Women, of course, are only objects here — targets, marks, penny stocks to be acquired and dumped. When these men are sent out on field tests to demonstrate their acquired aptitude in all things pickup, there’s no discussion of the sort of woman they might be seeking or what, if the first encounter is a success, the second one might look like.
Only the right sex organs matter. In tonight’s episode, Matt attempts to get the phone number of a bikini model but fails. Moments later, Simeon succeeds at the same task. We never so much as get her name.
There is a crude elegance to this strategy: For someone who has, say, never kissed a woman before, depersonalizing might be a useful means to overcoming fear. But as a life strategy, it is repellent.
There is little pride in getting shot down, though, as many of these men invariably are. To see these transactions laid bare is demoralizing, for both parties.
Mystery’s playbook is changing a bit. One of the techniques that last year’s show emphasized was peacocking, or dressing flamboyantly in order to attract attention. Strangely, Alex, the first contestant eliminated this season, was also the most natural peacock, with his semi-trendy glasses and fake gold chain. Why Mystery made him trash the latter is never fully explained. Maybe he didn’t see any voyeuristic potential in it.
Some of this show’s most amusing moments come from watching Mystery’s reactions to watching his charges in the field via hidden camera. Sometimes he’s stern. Sometimes he’s incredulous. Sometimes he realizes a particular student is taking to the teachings perhaps a bit too easily.
"Wow, look at that," he says, watching Brian approach a table full of models in tonight’s episode. "He has no fear," echoes Matador.
They both snicker a bit: They’ve created a monster.
Caramanica is a freelance writer.
calendar@latimes.com
Excerpted from www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-ca-monitor9-2008nov09,0,3772483.story
It’s Blitz… here to finally let the cat out of the bag.
Dunno about you, but I’ve had enough of the rumor and
innuendo.
All the talk about Mystery becoming scarce this fall for
some big, bad "reason we can’t disclose".
To hell with the lawyers.
The secret is out anyway, if you read entertainment industry
blogs. And casting calls. And other rags that Hollywood folk
read.
————————————————————
Mystery is going to star in his own VH-1 show this August
————————————————————
That’s right……… I said it! 
(Did I get that right, Erik? Oh don’t start!)
"The Pickup Artist" is VH-1’s newest reality show… and it
features our own Mystery, co-starring VA Co-Founder Matador
as well as VA master instructor J-Dog.
In the eight-part series, they do what Venusian Arts does
best: transform a bunch of "nice guys with likable, quirky
personalities who have trouble asking women out"… (That
quote is from the VH-1 casting call, by the way.)
Well, I personally met the student who "won" the show… the
best of eight guys who survived weeks of "grueling" training
and selection by Mystery himself.
Let me tell ya, "asking women out" is not one of his
problems any more!
Can’t really say much more than this…
…except for that "minor" scheduling detail:
————————————————————
The show has been bumped up from "fall" to August 6th!!!
————————————————————
Pardon the exclamation points but that little detail is the
part that got ME excited.
Do you realize that our upcoming MYSTERY SPECIAL TRAINING
events will overlap the pre-show promotion and the actual
airing of the show?
Yeah we had no idea, either, thank you very much.
But that’s sometimes how planning decisions are made at big
television networks.
They liked the show so much, they wanted to get it out
sooner rather than later.
Fine.
————————————————————
But this means: Due to publicity, MYSTERY SPECIAL TRAINING
spots will fill up EVEN QUICKER than we anticipated.
————————————————————
Here’s the current timeline for MYSTERY SPECIAL TRAINING
(MST), and how it overlaps with the VH-1 show (visit the
links for more information):
VH-1 promo trailers … Begin airing in July
New York City MST ….. July 13 through 15
http://www.venusianarts.com/sl/va/VenusianArts.aspx/?city=newyork
Los Angeles MST ……. July 20 through 22
http://www.venusianarts.com/sl/va/VenusianArts.aspx/?city=losangeles
Las Vegas MST ……… August 3 through 5
http://www.venusianarts.com/sl/va/VenusianArts.aspx/?city=lasvegas
First episode airs …. August 6
Chicago MST ……….. August 10 through 12
http://www.venusianarts.com/sl/va/VenusianArts.aspx/?city=chicago
Second episode airs … August 13
Miami MST …………. August 24 through 26
http://www.venusianarts.com/sl/va/VenusianArts.aspx/?city=miami
————————————————————
Remember, this will be the LAST TIME that Mystery will train
one-on-one in an intimate 12-student bootcamp format.
————————————————————
If you’re grabbing one of the available spots, you know what
to do…
~Blitz
mailto:info@venusianarts.com
(800) 799-1234
P.S. ${token2} seeing that timeline, I’ve been thinking…
(I know, Lovedrop usually does the deeper thinking around
here but hear me out…)
As VH-1 begins promoting the show in July, thousands of tv
viewers will discover Mystery and VenusianArts.com for the
first time…
And as the show itself begins airing August 6, add hundreds
of thousands of new Mystery fans, probably bringing our Web
server down altogether…
Remember, people will actually SEE Mystery, Matador and
J-Dog train eight "quirky guys" to become REALLY good with
women… "Mystery good"
And seeing is believing to tv viewers out there. Can you
imagine their jaws drop when they see just HOW drastically
Mystery can transform lives?
Can you see them jump out of their easy chairs and surf over
to Mystery’s Web site, to discover the training programs
there?
So here are Blitz’s conclusions… (drumroll!)
CONCLUSION #1: Remind Matador to have IT install a
stronger Web server. Project "calm before the storm".
CONCLUSION #2: If I wanted to catch the same kind of
training that VH-1 saw fit to put in the center of a
reality show this fall, I’d reserve my MYSTERY SPECIAL
TRAINING spot now, before the media hype REALLY starts…
But that’s just me… check current availability here:
VH-1 promo trailers … Begin airing in July
New York City MST ….. July 13 through 15
http://www.venusianarts.com/sl/va/VenusianArts.aspx/?city=newyork
Los Angeles MST ……. July 20 through 22
http://www.venusianarts.com/sl/va/VenusianArts.aspx/?city=losangeles
Las Vegas MST ……… August 3 through 5
http://www.venusianarts.com/sl/va/VenusianArts.aspx/?city=lasvegas
First episode airs …. August 6
Chicago MST ……….. August 10 through 12
http://www.venusianarts.com/sl/va/VenusianArts.aspx/?city=chicago
Second episode airs … August 13
Miami MST …………. August 24 through 26
http://www.venusianarts.com/sl/va/VenusianArts.aspx/?city=miami
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