And come to think of it, she looks like girlfriend material. But then it happens; she doesn’t really want to bounce with you or follow up with you the days after it….

Damn, another hottie passed throe your hands and you couldn’t keep hold of her. I mean sure she liked you in the moment but now, she’s just avoiding you. And to make things worse, so are her hot girlfriends right now.

Sorry to say man, but you've lost…

Good thing you have another quarter to put into the arcade machine, your going to win this round!

But How To Win?!
What if you have no idea on what your doing wrong?

Well I’m going to help you out on this one, time to get your weapons fixed!
Dr. Crunx: “This is a serious case of “Clientes Reformo” (Latin). Also know as Buyers Remorse.
According to Wikipedia is as followed: “The anxiety may be rooted in various factors, such as: the person's concern they purchased the wrong product, purchased for a bad price, purchased instead of waiting for a newer model, purchased in an ethically unsound way, purchased on credit, or purchased something that would not be acceptable to others.
In the phase before purchasing, a prospective buyer often feels positive emotions associated with a purchase (desire, a sense of heightened possibilities, and an anticipation of the enjoyment that will accompany using the product, for example); afterwards, having made the purchase, they are more fully able to experience the negative aspects: all the opportunity costs of the purchase, and a reduction in purchasing power.”

Now this phenomenon, is pretty much conquered in sales the same way, it is in pickup. In sales, it pretty much means you fired enough bullets on your target but they didn’t really hit. Therefor we simply ask the customer; what they are all about, what are they really looking for and how they would see their business/ life boosted with the service. This makes them feel understood and they will basically tell you all you need to know. Which leads to a great relationship on a deeper level!

So how does this effect your game?
Well, a girl (your customer) must always have the feeling that you actually know her. Why else would she feel appreciated?! And I don’t mean just knowing she likes to party or loves a “Pornstar Martini” to kick off a party.

Since you already attracted the girl, and collected your IOI's (A2 – Female to male interest)
Your ready to move on and start showing your interest in her (A3 – Male to female interest)

Time for qualification!
There is a big misunderstanding within the pickup community on "A3". While some people see it as giving her serious compliments for the craziest things, an asking point of all kinds questions, while others see them as a time frame where they can show her, they're sorry for negging her.

Well it's actually a time where the male looks closer at his target. To see if the girl that showed her interest in him, is qualified enough to be with.

Just like when your buying a new car or a house, you want to make sure your doing the right buy!
It would be stupid spending a your hard earned cash (value) on something that looks good but is the worst thing you've ever had!

To tackle this your going to do some research. With a product it's common that people will look it up on the Internet or ask the sales person for some information about it, before purchasing it. Well with again with Pickup, it's again pretty much the same. But now you can ask the "product" it self.

So what's so important about qualifiers? It's just a bit of information..

* Qualifiers can be used as a connection DHV spike, because it conveys a growing appreciation for the target and thus it flips her appreciation convention switch.
* It's shows your a guy with options and value, which makes her want to chase you more!
* Great push-pull opportunity
* Your target experiences as if she is winning you over

But just asking questions like: “So where are you from?” "What do you do?" "What kind of sports do you like?" can wreck your game in just seconds! Because they heard that line thousands of times, asked by losers before. And because of that, she sees such questions as IOL's; Indicator Of Loser! Therefor such interview questions should be avoided.

So how do you avoid that?
Whenever you feel the urge to ask those interview questions, just form them into a statement.
AND DON'T BE OVER SERIOUS! THIS IS NOT A JOB INTERVIEW, IT'S A SOCIAL GATHERING!

So DON'T DO THIS:
You: "So where are you from?"
Her: "London"

You "Oh, cool.. What kind of music do you like?"
Her: "About everything, bit pop"

You: "What kind of work do you do?"
Her: "I work at a store"
(You can actually feel her interest of her in you, flowing away the more you do this)

DO THIS:
You: "You know, you look like a Vegas girl!"
Her: I'm actually from London, why would I be a Vegas girl?

You: "You know, you just look like the girl that likes those Wild TIËSTO parties!
Her: "Yeah I do like those. How did you know?

You: "So do they let psychiatrist like you in?
Her: "I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm work at book store!"

The phrases are not important, now what is important is that you use your interview as an opportunity to add value in a more spontaneous way using the absurd.

So what if my statement is wrong?
You don't care, it's not about the statement! If you stated that she was from Vegas and she asks why, just respond with what made you think she would be. Maybe her shoe's, her attitude, her earrings or anything else. And don't forget those IOD's! You don't want to be an easy catch.

You: Your like a pineapple!…
Her: "A what?!"
You: "Rough and spiky on the outside (IOD), but once your passed all that shit… your pretty sweet…. Interesting (IOI)"

Or power it up with the input of a DHV-story.

"Well, while I was traveling with my girlfriend (DHV)…. one of our favorite spots…. was Vegas! There is joy, just everywhere!… And earrings like those…. Now over there.. it looks a bit stupid because EVERY girl wears them (IOD), but over here they they're pretty special (IOI)….."

Now it’s just your job on making her tell more about herself. And don’t worry, girls like to talk about themselves. Just like everyone else! But make sure you don’t just ask one question and skip to the next subject or keep it to one subject ALL the time. You have to build width (multiple subjects) to get a overall view on her. But you also have to have depth (questions asked on a single subject).

Get to know her on a couple of spots really good.
Whatever your looking for in a girl, you should ask her.

What is she like outside of the club?
What are her future plans?
What her favorite place in the whole world?
Is she adventurous?

Example:

You: “I’m wondering…”
She: “About what?”
You: “Is there really more then just your life in this venue?”
She: “What do you mean?”
You: “What are you passionate about?”
She: “Well, I’m…(she goes talking about her job, her friends, anything basically)
You: “So what makes you so passionate about that?”
She: “Oh it’s really great, and I just love…. (She goes into more depth)”

Don’t worry about saying you totally agree or totally disagree. She doesn’t want anyone who is “Okay” or "Against" EVERYTHING she does. Just make sure you find some commonalities.

Spend some time in getting to know her, and she’ll feel like she really earned your attention. And now she doesn’t have to feel like a slut after getting more intimate with you. This will not only help you with conquering the Last Minute Resistance but also Clientes Reformo. Once you get good at this, you’ll always have girls in your social life.

Well guys I had my typing exercise for today, time to get to know some girls!

*NOTE: Crunx is not a doctor *

As I’ve developed my skill set over the last few years to become a better PUA and more recently, a coach, I’ve come to observe that one of the biggest problems a lot of guys in the community face; is understanding qualification. Qualification (or A3) is crucial to the success of a pick up. Not only is it a stepping stone to comfort and a must for starting rapport, finding commonalities, etc., it is also one of the best ways to prevent flaking.

Sometime ago, I invested in a VA boot camp. I also paid for some 1 on 1 time with the man himself… “Mystery”. Watching Mystery game a set was so intriguing and exciting to me. Although he did a great job of explaining qualification prior to us going out, I became fixated on his attraction game and him being the crazy, flashy guy who all the girls in the club noticed. I loved holding court, running cold reads, making out with girls (taken or not) and getting their numbers. Within a short time span of 7-8 weeks from my boot camp, I had racked up around 50 numbers and out of all those, maybe 3 were solid. That’s less than 10%. I really started to contemplate what I was doing wrong, so I sat down and tried to evaluate my situation. There were several contributing factors. My sets weren’t long enough and I was ejecting too fast after getting a number. However, the biggest mistake was failing to qualify.

Most pick up artists already know the main concepts behind qualification (read the Mystery Method if this is new to you). So assuming you understand the basics of qualification, I am going to give you a “before and after” example of one way you can really help improve this phase of your game.

Avoid the Interview

So what does the average guy in a bar/club do? As most of us know from once being that guy; not a whole lot. Rarely does he approach any of the girls he would consider attractive and should he muster up the courage to do so, it’s usually under the influence of alcohol with virtually no game plan. Naturally the AFC will quickly try to find commonalities. He will barrage a girl with a series of questions so he has something, anything that will help carry the interaction forward, while in reality, the girl is already bored and wondering when this guy who has approached her will go away. “What’s your name? Where are you from? What do you do? Do you come here often?” These are almost as painful to type out as they are to think about. This process is usually referred to as “The Interview”.

The term “The Interview” has also taken on another meaning in the seduction community. For example, say a PUA has approached a set, run his opener, engaged the group, built attraction and is now qualifying his target in the A3 phase. A problem I constantly see with guys is they will get into A3, throw a qualifying question, then another qualifying question, then another qualifying question to the point where it becomes, yet again, an interview.

The conversation starts to look like this.

PUA: What have you got going for you other than your looks?
HB: “Qualifies”
PUA: What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?
HB: “Qualifies”
PUA: If you could be anything in the world without failure what would it be? And don’t say princess

By now the interaction starts to get awkward and the PUA just seems like a social robot. Just because you’re out of A2 doesn’t mean you can stop contributing to the interaction. If your A3 game shares a resemblance to the above, its time to change it up, thus my next point.

Use Qualification to DHV

I can’t tell you how many guys fail to see A3 as an opportunity to demonstrate higher value. Remember, A3 leads to comfort. Just because I’m done A2 doesn’t mean I can stop using DHV’s. In fact, the DHV’s you’re using in A2 such as cold reads, humor, playful negs, etc. are only used to bring up her emotional state (buying temperature) so you can buy another minute to move on to the next phase. That type of attraction is temporary and will go nowhere unless you can bring the interaction forward and start qualifying. The attraction that comes from solid DHV stories is far more powerful and unlike an A2 attraction gambit, will leave a lasting effect.

There are 2 things you can do to help prepare yourself for having a more solid A3 game.

First of all, make a list of 10 things (non-physical) you want in a woman. Example: A girl who’s close to her family, a girl who’s adventurous, a girl who loves music, etc. I chose those 3 examples for 2 reasons. The first, those are all real traits I look for in a girl. The second, I have DHV stories for every one of them. So my interaction starts to sound like this.

Moody: I have a great family, what about you, are you close with yours?
HB: Oh ya, I love going home. My sister and I always…
Moody: That’s cool. I have a little sister too. This one time actually she called me up in tears…(Protector of Loved Ones story) DHV #1

Moody: Ya, but the cops still let us go haha that was a close one. Regardless the show was great. What kind of music do you like? And don’t say Nickelback
HB: Oh god, I hate Nickelback. I love a lot of country music actually.
Moody: Do you listen to “The Judds?” 
HB: O ya, I know them
Moody: Get this, I was down in Atlanta last month. I was in the vip area of this club called Opera (Social Alignments Story where I met a famous country singer) DHV #3
Notice how I will calibrate my qualifiers for traits that I actually look for in a woman and I will have follow up DHV stories for every single one. If you’re going to ask a girl how adventurous she is, don’t you think there is a good chance she will ask you the same in return? So why not be prepared with a great story loaded with DHV spikes? Even if she doesn’t ask, you can simply say “Yeah that reminds me of the time” and tell your story anyway. 

Remember A3 is a smooth transition into comfort and the game is played in comfort.

Here is what he wrote:

Prophet

I just read your bio on the VA site, and it was really inspirational. I'm a big guy around your top weight, but I'm also tall & broad shouldered. I used to work as a bouncer. I am sort of built like a retired football player.

Were you able to have some success before you lost the weight? What sorts of things helped reframe your size to people? I've purchased and read the full Revelation set, but it doesn't have much info in terms of advice for bigger guys.

Thanks

- B

And here is a slightly edited version of everything I had to say.  Enjoy! 

I actually still haven't lost all the weight.  I gained some back a while ago so I still got a bit of a belly that I'm working on.  Nearly all of my proudest moments in the field happened when I was around 280-300 lbs.  And while I may not have believed it when I was first starting out, it was never my weight that held me back in the field, but rather my internal beliefs regarding my weight.  

The hardest part about being an overweight PUA is that it is very hard to realize that the fact that we are overweight isn't really that big of a deal in the field if we handle it correctly.  As we already know from Revelations, women do not select their mates with the same emphasis on physical fitness and beauty to the extent that men do.  Most of the time, our greatest enemy is our own insecurity and not what other people actually think of us. 

When I first started out in the field, it was really hard to believe that women would be attracted to me even if I was overweight.  I still remember being so surprised when a woman reached out and touched my chest (a kino ping) while I was running a DHV routine that I went home and wrote all about it on the StyleLife forum.  Before that night, I had never really thought that a woman of such beauty would want to touch my disgusting body.

That is actually what I thought about myself.  Harsh right?  I had spent the first 21 years of my life believing that beautiful women only wanted men with chiseled bodies and movie star looks and would never look twice at someone like me – how could I think any different?  I was so insecure that I was chronically embarrassed to even take off my shirt in front of a woman, regardless of whether I knew her or not.  Even when girls were legitimately hitting on me it was a concept so outside of my reality that I wouldn’t believe she was actually interested and blow the set. 

I used to make excuses about my weight, telling people that it was mostly muscle underneath or something equally ridiculous that no one REALLY believed.  Or I would make jokes about how I was “self-insulated” or how there was “more of me to love”.  Or I would write clever routines about how looks didn’t matter and how we lived in a superficial society.  It went on and on like this as I tried anything I could to logically convince girls that I was a great guy underneath all this blubber. 

Eventually, despite my own insecurities I started achieving more and more success in the field.  And with the help of those who coached me when I was still learning the ropes (Mystery and Matador, and later Lovedrop and Discovery), I figured out that a lot of women don’t care about a man’s weight as long as he is attractive in other ways.  As I started dating hotter and hotter women, models, aspiring actresses, and exotic dancers, I discovered for myself that there is a surprising amount of beautiful women in the world who are actually ATTRACTED a guy with a belly. 

The reality I discovered is that if women see that you are a cool, fun alpha male who makes the girls giggle and the guys laugh and is the type of guy who protects his loved ones and be safe around, your weight just doesn’t enter into it. 

So there was no reason at all to be making excuses or trying to reframe the idea of me being overweight to people because if I handled it correctly, it didn’t matter anyway.  And really, the ultimate reframe is just to not call attention to it at all.  If you present yourself in such a way that it doesn’t appear like your weight matters to you, then it wont matter to them either. The key is, as I’ve said before, to handle your weight correctly. 

Here is what I’ve learned in that respect:

Bigger Guys Can Be Scary

Believe it or not, a woman will feel more secure with an overweight man than with a really skinny man of the same height.  The basic survival value calculation is that larger = stronger = more capable of surviving.  So this is an advantage to us bigger guys once we have a woman attracted as it will be easier for her to feel safer and therefore more comfortable when she's with us.  The problem is that this same size and strength can be scary to a woman.  As larger men, we don't realize what it's like to be in potentially dangerous situations with people who are tremendously larger and stronger than us on a regular basis.  

It is good to be animated and exciting when you are holding court in the field.  But at 6'2" and 280 lbs, if I'm making a lot of fast movement with my hands and arms while we talk, I can be intimidating and downright terrifying to a petite 5'2" blonde.  So we have to take care and ensure that our gestures are slow and meaningful.  We should try to talk with our hands as little as possible, keeping them at our sides and relaxed more often than not.  

Laughing and smiling in the field is especially important for larger men like us. A larger guy with a big bright smile and a contagious laugh is a lot more approachable than a large guy with a serious scowl on his face.  I mean, if you saw another you standing in a nightclub looking like you were gonna knife a guy, would you go up and say hi?  If we're not smiling, we usually look scary, it's just one of those things.  

Put a woman on your arm! 

Preselection is such an invaluable tool, especially for an overweight man.  Think about it, if a woman sees a hot girl hitting on a cute guy she understands that the guy is physically handsome so it makes sense that this girl is hitting on him.  But if she sees the same hot girl hit on a man who isn’t in peak physical condition she doesn’t think “ewww why would she hit on him?” as you might think.  In fact, what she thinks is “I want to find out what it is about him that makes him so attractive.”  Find a wing girl if you can, start practicing merging sets, put a woman on your arm and walk her around the venue.  Believe me, if a woman sees that another beautiful woman wants you, your weight will not be an issue. 

Don’t Hide Your Size

Of course, we still have to remember that just because women do not value looks in a man as much as men do in women, does not mean that they don’t value looks at all.  Looks do matter, to be sure, but if you know how to present yourself as a larger man they don’t really matter much at all.  As I said before, if you present yourself as a man to whom his weight doesn’t matter, then it wont matter to anyone else.  As such, confident body language is a must.  It should never look like you are trying to hide the fact that you are overweight.  It will actually register more strongly in a woman's mind if you try to sit or stand in a way that tries to hide your weight than it would have if she just saw your belly sticking out.  Stand tall and be proud of your size.  Remember that a sign of insecurity about your weight is far more unattractive than the weight itself. 

Dress To Impress

There are always going to be stereotypes regarding overweight people. There will always be cartoons and TV shows that play on clichés and social stigmas that are both positive and negative.  Thankfully, it's not that hard to avoid the negatives and play up the positives.  An overweight man in a t-shirt and jeans says "slob" to a woman.  But an overweight man dressed in a fine suit says "abundance".  In fact, if you don't hit the clubs wearing a suit then you need to go buy a well-fitting, tailored suits with an attractively colored dress-shirt and tie.  A larger man with broad shoulders is the kind of man who will look amazing in a properly fitting suit.  Don't believe me?  Run around town doing errands wearing the least flattering clothes you own.  Then, the next time you have to run around town, do it in a suit and tie.  Talk to people.  Smile.  Make conversation.  I guarantee that the way people respond to you will be a night and day difference depending on how you present yourself.  If you wear a suit and a tie and a smile, people will treat you like you are worth a million dollars. 

Wear clothing and colors that showcase your size and build rather than hides it.  Black, I have learned the hard way, is a good way to cover up your unsavory curves, but it hides the rest of you in the darkness of the bar or club.  And unless you are in a goth or fetish club, wearing all black is just too much for most girls.  Strong colors and clothing that fits your body well, combined with that positive body language and a smile transform you from “that fat guy over there” to “who is THAT guy over there?” 

Join a Gym and Get A Personal Trainer

Of course, the best part about starting out without the advantages of an attractive, lean body is the knowledge that once you get this game down as a bigger guy, things will be so much easier once you get yourself into shape.  Imagine the charm, charisma, and social intelligence you will have developed while you were overweight backed by a rockin’ body!  If you are really serious about losing the weight, join a gym and get a personal trainer.  After years of having my own weight go up and down like a yoyo, a personal trainer has been the only way I’ve had good results in losing the pounds.  In fact, since I started with my PT, my friends are constantly going on about how much weight I’ve been losing, and more women have been OPENING ME than ever before in my life.  And let me tell you, nothing boosts your self-confidence more than a beautiful woman approaching YOU. 

Happy sarging,

Prophet

About Prophet

We’ve been getting some heart-warming reviews for our programs lately over in the Our Reviews section of the forum.  So I thought I would try to capture the best examples of what it is like to be a student at one of our bootcampa.  And what better examples are there than first-hand accounts from our students themselves. 

The two day seminar portion of the bootcamp was the most surprising part of the weekend… During the individual exercises, Discovery, Hobbes and Rascal were going around each group making sure that we understood and achieved all the goals for the particular exercises. Truth be told, on both days, we ran almost 45 minutes to an hour over the scheduled time because all the instructors were more concerned with making sure we learned and absorbed all the lessons they gave us for that day (which was an ENORMOUS amount of knowledge, concepts and material) than being on time with a preset schedule. 
- prestigepua, Dallas bootcamp, 2010

Day two is the day where I felt I got my money's worth due to the fact that Mystery, Matador, and Discovery gave the bits and pieces, applications and personal twists on how they all make it their own. These guys are VERY different in their approaches, but they still have the M3 model checklist in their minds and seem to abide by it. The best part of hearing all 3 of them, you get to separate the foundation from the frame. 
- VInuzzio, LA Bootcamp, March 2010

 After the seminar had ended, we were matched up with our instructors for the night. I got Brendan. We didn't have much time, so I went up to my room to change. When I got back, he was talking to a waitress. Even though it had been less than 2 minutes, she kept following us around for the next hour. That is some solid game if you ask me. And even we didn't have much time to get ready for going out to the clubs; he spent more than an hour helping me with my body language/walk.
- Shadow6546, LA Bootcamp, March 2010

 …You have the VA team in your ear correcting all the bad habits you have ON THE SPOT and reminding and explaining to you of all the different concepts that we had learned in the actual seminar. Hobbes was kind enough to show me a "non verbal" routine to open sets in the dancefloor of a noisy club and Rascal was always making sure our energy level was great and that we continued to be the "observed" instead of the "observers".
- prestigepua, Dallas bootcamp, 2010

The coaching experience here, is just matrix like, a coach will enter into your set ,shout "neg the target" in front of everyone and at the same time no one seems to notice him. It's just amazing how he will always find a way to show you the next move, not the mention an amazing demo to make his point when he thinks it s required. Usually coaches leave you do your thing, and give you a feedback after, here they totally interact with you while you re in the set, and I have to say that it s an amazing learning experience. My coach fucking rocks!
-  Zoorps, London bootcamp, 2010

 VA didn't just tell me how to own a set. They taught me how to own my life, own the club, own my job, and be in control. Its about building a life. As I said, Mystery was awesome, and not only taught, but demontrated that this works. Discovery also demonstrated, and tackled questions with real savvy answers. 
- “the only sultan”, Dallas bootcamp, 2010

The combination of theory during the day and live in-field training during the night is extremely effective. There's a really low ratio of coaches to students in field (generally one coach per two students), which assures really good feedback from the coach during and after the in-field training. You can also expect the opportunity to ask anyone you want (Mystery, Discovery or any one of the really skilled coaches) any and all questions you have related to pickup during the weekend.
- Atlas, London bootcamp, 2010

…when I went to the Dallas bootcamp in March with Mystery and Discovery, it was like having my eyes opened after realizing I was merely dreaming before. Don't mean to juxtapose the arts, but truly, watching two masters work their art painted a PERFECT picture for me!

Working my own, and having them, and the other instructors there to correct me was amazing! In one night, I had improved more than I could have in a month, alone.
- MANimal, Dallas bootcamp 2010

Breakout Sessions- You would think this was just an add on but these sessions have TONS of information. Daygame, Routines and my personal fav Hired Guns! From the basics to the in depth they covered each one and more. Discovery and Mystery shared even their personal material. I would highly recommend these sessions as they add dimensions to your game.
- Capone,dallas bootcamp, 2010

A while ago we had a contest on our forum to see who could come up with the best voicemail greeting for our lead UK instructor, Discovery.  The winner, Jadler, got to request the next topic I wrote an article about for the blog.  Jadler’s question was about how to keep things fresh and positive with your wings, both in the field and when just chilling and discussing game.  

This really made me sit down and examine how my wings and I interact with each other, and made me take a good hard look about my experiences with past wings and consider what worked and what did not.  I considered the wings that have come and gone from my life and why we just couldn’t work well together.  I considered the wings I have been sarging with from the very beginning such as Showcase and Wild Card, and what it is that makes us such an awesome team in the field.  And I considered the wings that, even though we were only able to sarge together a handful of times and even though they are in other parts of the country (Charisma and Majin, for instance), I could easily just jump back into the field with as if we’d never skipped a beat. 

So I took all of that and I came up with a small list of things to do and not to do when you’re working with your wingmen, both in the field and out:

Me and my Wings.  From left to right: Wild Card, Showcase, Me (Prophet), HBRadio

Remember What A Wingman Is

I think a lot of people forget where the term “wingman” originally came from.  In aerial combat, the wingman is the guy who watches your back.  He is the guy who tries to keep you from getting shot down.  He supports you and together you are twice as powerful and far more agile in tight spots than you would be alone.  What the wingman doesn’t do is put you down, pick fights with you, try to steal/sabotage your sets, stab you in the back, or betray your trust.  You do not need people like that in your life, do you?  Your wingman is your brother-in-arms.  Protect him and respect him. 

Encourage Your Wing

This is the most important part of being a wingman.  You have to, HAVE TO, ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO encourage your wing, both in the field and when you’re just chilling and discussing theory and material.  I see so many aspiring PUAs out there come back to their wingman after a set and not even get so much as a “well done”.  You should be just as excited about any advancement your wing makes in the field as he is.  Did he receive his first kino pings ever in the field?  Tell him how great he did!  Did he just get his first make-out?  Go buy that man a drink!  Did he just have his first same-night-pull?  Call him up the next day and give him props! 

Remember the value of positive reinforcement.  The better you help your wings feel for even the smallest of his successes, the more he will want to succeed.  If you and your wings are all constantly adding positivity and encouragement into your group, it will quickly start feeding back into itself and inspire each of you to encourage the other even more. 

In order to do this, however, you MUST avoid letting your own insecurities and inner game issues get the better of you.  I mean, you want to be happy for your wings when they succeed, don’t you?  You would want them to be happy for you, right?  So why are you letting yourself feel jealous because he got a make-out and you didn’t?  One of the biggest traps that wingmen fall into when they are first starting to hit the field together is competitiveness.  Don’t get me wrong here, it’s great to be a little competitive with your wings – but only so long as you both are coming at it from a place of positivity.  It should never be about proving something or being better than the rest of your wings, because that’s only going to create animosity and even stronger negative, competitive attitudes.  If your wing is gets more numbers than you do and it bothers you so much that you cannot be genuinely happy for him…. you are going to lose your wings.  Lovedrop’s “The Ghost and The Flame” model in Revelations applies very well here as well. 

Value Different Styles

A PUA should always be open to change.  In all aspects of life, the man who is too stuck in his ways to explore anything different will eventually find himself vastly out-skilled by the man who is always ready to try something different.  This is incredibly important when you are sarging or hanging out with wings who practice styles of game that appear very different than your own.

One of the hardest things for most PUAs to do when they start meeting new wings is to avoid getting caught up in fanboy camps. It’s so easy to get up in arguing whose style of game is better and it accomplishes nothing.  Avoid thinking that your style is better or more correct than everyone else’s.  Every single coach in VA has a slightly different style of game in the field.  What matters is that they are all based on the same foundation of understanding of the female mind. Seek out other wings who have different styles than you.  Observe what works for them and what doesn’t and see if you can implement some of those tactics into your own game. 

Don’t Be A Coach – Be A Wingman

A great many people out there enjoy the ego boost that comes from adopting the “coaching” frame with other PUAs.  And even though they do not possess anything close to the in-field experience and understanding of the theory behind what we do in the field to back up what they do, you still see them advertising out there, upstart PUA companies run by wannabe gurus that are popping up all over the internet like mushrooms.  But that’s not what we’re talking about here.

It’s very easy to go out into the field with some other PUAs and tell them to open sets while you stand around and wait for them to come back for you to critique them.  But are you really learning that much?  Sure, you can learn a lot about how the game is played by watching what other PUAs do right and wrong, and you do learn a lot of theory by teaching, but why are you really out in the field?  To feed your ego?  To observe and learn the theory?  Or are you out there to practice these skills for yourself?  Remember the 3-1 rule of practice vs theory: for every hour you spend reading/learning theory, you should be spending three practicing it in the field.  So if you’re going out there every night and just pushing your wing into sets while you watch without being ready to go open the very next set yourself, then you are not getting the most out of your time with your wing.

Be a wingman.  You guys are in this together.  Good wings have a very strong brotherly bond.  We watch out for each other, help each other avoid pitfalls, save each other from egos and insecurities.  But do so as a friend and a brother, not a teacher and a mentor.

Challenge Each Other

Every good PUA needs an accountabilibuddy.  We all need someone who is going to keep us on the right path and keep our eye on the prize.  At times we all need someone to drag us out to the club we think is too loud, or that party we don’t feel like traveling across town for, or to the beach with those girls who you weren’t sure liked you but invited you out anyway.  A good wing will always be there to kick your ass when you are feeling lazy or making excuses. 

Drag your wing out into the field, even if he bitches and moans about it.  Get him excited, come up with crazy experiments (i.e. “we’ll spend the whole night trying to over-neg our targets”, “we can only answer questions with another question”, or “purposely look at the wrong person when responding to someone”), and get out there!  Push your wing into sets if AA overtakes him.  It’s easy to open a set for your wing with “Hey, my buddy has a question for you…” and then forcing him to take over.  Make bets over silly things!  First one to get 5 drinks bought for him gets lunch the next day, first one to get 20 people to kiss your belly gets to wear the Championship Belt the next time you go out.  You are really only limited by your imagination here. 

Debrief after the Club

I’m always kind of surprised when I see PUAs almost rush to get to the cab and get home after the club is out.  Unless there is some vital early-morning event that you really do need to get to bed for, I find that, if I’m not going home with someone, it’s always great debrief with my wing while it’s still fresh.  Grab a bite to eat at some all-night place or chill out at someone’s place and talk about the night.  Almost every single night for the first two years that Showcase and I went into the field together, we would go back to either of our places, smoke some weed, and laugh about the ridiculous things that happened that night.  We’d figure out what we did wrong and make a plan for fixing it, and then the next night we’d both be able to remember what the other was going to fix this time around.  Again, an accountabilibuddy really helps!

Meet New People

Don’t be afraid to meet friends or wings.  If your wing knows someone else or you’ve been talking to someone on a forum, meet him! .  It’s surprising how easily egos and insecurities can cause two people who would otherwise have been great friends to want to stay away from each other.  Meet new people, check out new venues, bring fresh ideas and energy into the mix!

After a while, you’ll also spot other PUAs in the field. Talk to them!  Don’t fuck up their sets or try to blow them out – chat them up when they’re not in set. Who knows, maybe they’ve been looking for a good couple of wings too!

Have Fun!

Make sure you are spending some time NOT in the field.  Go see a movie.  Play a round of golf or paintball or even just chill and play some video games.  Invite a wing or two out to a party (just make sure you let him know if anyone is off-limits) or some local event you would both enjoy.  Hang out and smoke some weed.  Go on double-day-2s together even.

The point is to HAVE FUN with your wing!  Have an adventure and create that brotherly bond that every good PUA needs with his wingmen.  Fun like this also makes for some great DHV stories in the field.  Almost all of my really good stories involve zany situations that my wings and I have gotten ourselves into over the years.  Hang out and be friends. Women are especially perceptive of the kind of bond that good friends have and if you are bother high-value males, then this will make you both much more attractive. 

Phew, I think that was all of it.  Jadler, hope you enjoyed this!

Happy sarging everyone!

Prophet

About Prophet

Role Objective
To assist the Sales Manager and Sales Director to maximize all Venusian Arts Leads/Enquiries/Prospects to convert as many as possible to Bootcamp training.

Background Information
A unique opportunity to work directly for the hosts of a Hit Reality TV Series on VH1. Our show has generated and continues to generate 1000s of leads per month to learn the skills and secrets we teach on our show. We now have over 100,000 leads interested in attending our training bootcamps. We have employed the help of an Award winning International Sales Trainer, who is looking to recruit a further 5 sales staff from throughout the US to complete our thriving and highly rewarded sales team.

What you can offer

Essential Criteria
• Previous 1 years sales experience
• Able to commit minimum 10 hours per week to sales time
• Able to conduct sales calls between hours of 5.30pm-9pm on agreed dates Mon-Fri, or weekend
• Have access to internet and phone, ideally Skype (free download)
• Good telephone communicator with good sales delivery
• Competent working on own

Desirable Criteria
• Previous 2-3 years sales experience
• Previous 1 years telesales experience based on outbound prospecting
• Sales Person who is passionate about selling and wants to earn in excess of $30,000 pa for only 10-15 hours work per week
• Has a working understanding of using sales databases to record and schedule sales activity
• Good at managing personal time effectiveness and goal setting

What we can offer
• Full and part time flexible role
• Very high commissions on all sales
• Warm and hot lead list, ready to be sold to immediately
• Weekly telephone support
• Monthly Sales Training from an International Sales Trainer
• Support from the Sales Director/Manager in closing off your hot leads
• Opportunity for worldwide travel assisting the Sales Director set up sales teams globally
• Opportunity for rapid promotion
• You get to socialize and party with recognized TV celebrities
• Long term career opportunities

Remuneration
10% on all sales money received by Venusian Arts directly related to your sales efforts

Items required for the role
computer with internet access
Skype account with LA online number
USB headset
location to conduct calls from you home uninterrupted

If you feel you are an adequate fit, please email discovery@venusianarts.co.uk.

About Discovery

this opener (1 of 3 to do with Facebook) actually was field tested in Starbucks, West Hollywood when I was out visiting Mystery and the gang. Now guys if like me you are from the Uk and not used to seeing super hot women, man this starbucks had more hotties than I see in a month in Nottingham, UK lol. But this Starbucks is special as it was right over the road from Vivid Porn Studios and it just seemed to be a haven for hotties.

So there is me beavering a way on my laptop, while being constantly distracted (God I was like a dog with 2 dicks and a street full of lamp posts!)… So anyway I was working on some new Day Game openers and stuff I could use in normal social settings and kept having a browse at my facebook, pondering on whether or not to remove my then recently ex'd girlfriend – well we had split up after 9 months (this was during the end of my 1st year in the game) – I had, had to feel the pain, knowing she would move on and as a hotty would get all the attention in the world and I would have to get out of my comfort phase and get my sarging head back on.

I was trying to move on quickly, but kept getting shitty messages about me and the women in photos I was getting tagged with (IOI? I don't know, felt more like bitterness to me) but it was causing problems with the friendship I really wanted us to retain. I had found strength to move with some great advice from my friend James Matador…. And my dilemma was….. whether or not to remove her from my facebook and all the back lash it would create.

so what the hell, I typed it out there and then in Starbucks W. Hollywood and to get me out of the headspace of where and when to run it, I agreed with myself, the minute I stop writing it, I will run it on the first 8+ that walks by.

10 minutes later, finished, a girl that a year ago I would have considered way out of my league walked by with a vibrancy in her step and a smile that said I am something special (the ones we tend to shy away from .

Here is what happened on that day in its raw format:

——————————————————–
Me: "Hey, let me get your thoughts on something real quick."
[i didnt wait for her to respond]

Me: "How long, if at all, should you wait before removing an ex from your facebook?"

HB: "Well how long have you been split up?"

Me: "Well only a month, but I'm out here and she's touring and I keep getting all these questions about what am up to because she has seen me tagged in various photos while I've been out here."

HB: [slings her bag off her shoulder and sits down] (I like forwardness of American girls) "ooo this is an interesting one"

Me: "Grab a seat why don't you" [neg with playful attitude]

Me: "So anyway, I always used to tell her that if I were away doing shows [open loop] and she ever felt uncomfortable about any pictures she saw me tagged in, not to keep it inside and be frustrated, but ask me and I'd be happy to fill her in on what was going on"

HB: "Oh that's nice of you" [I never caught onto the IOIs until later reflection, which is normal when you are running new material as you are too focussed on getting it out to practise - and that's why you shouldnt be changing your material every week to find the next best opener!]

Me: "woah there, slow this down, by me a coffee before you hit on me like that" [cute laugh in return to neg 2]

Me: You know I felt for her…. a. she was in less of a position now to ask the questions and b. I didnt have the opportunity to re-assure her – so she was kind of like getting a double emotional wammy…. and all because some women dragged me into a harmless photo at a friends party [pre-selection].

HB: mmm she ponders

Me: "well right or wrong I just told her, look…. you're not going to like it, but we are both going to be meeting new friends and getting back to growing our social garden and I dont want you feeling niggled every weekend when you look on my facebook, so am taking you off for a month or so, so we can both relax and not feel judged".

HB: "Yeah that's fair – So what you doing in Hollywood?" [IOI]

————————————————————–

Now just so you know how it all went, she invited me and a friend to a house party in the hills (after a bit of text game later the next day) which I went to with Matador and the host (a Director of some old Movie that I had never seen, but Matador had) really liked us, which in turn added to our value with her. She turns out to be one of the Playboy Golf models (not the Mansion types, but more the everyday pretty types Playboy uses for corporate events) – and has loads of contacts – now I was only there a couple of days, so rather than play and run, I decided (friend zone I hear you shout ) to put her into my non FClosed cool GFs – who has since hooked me up with no end of parties and her friends in Hollywood and LA…. ahh good times, as I stare out my apartment window at the rain of Nottingham .

so in summary:…………

1. Hey, let me get your thoughts

2. How long, if at all should you wait before taking an ex of your facebook

3. let her speak for a moment then cut in

4. FTC – well what I said to her was xxxxx

Nice and simple!

Yeah I know… and in the day time (more so as she sat down indicating she did have time too) or social settings I like to extend the openers as to also demonstrate value with embedded DHVS.

I like this opener as its about relationships, dilema, facebook (I call it Fakebook for laughs) which is all current, your touring GF of value, the fact that she is still chasing you somewhat, that you have your social life going on, and some open loops for further conversation. All in all – solid 'chick crack'!
Definitely in this original format was suited to more calmer environments for delivery.

Try it out and let me know how you get on – lets see if we can get 50 guys to try it out – once 10 of you do, I will share the other 2 versions that I have created since then about Facebook.

There! I told you I get sucked in and takes me ages to type out!!! Hope you got some benefit

ps. any opinion opener I use, is taken from my real life, which is kind of a personal rule of mine in the game.

About Discovery

The concept of being able to acquire a skill set in order to handle the Alpha Male in the group. The idea for most to be able to blow out the guys that generally succeeded in getting the girls prior to our knowledge of pick up can make any person excited. The reason why AMOGing works is because you can systematically take the attention away from other men who are competing for attention. By holding court, re-framing, and being in your own head space, you can successfully handle the threads AMOGs will throw at you.

The weird thing about AMOGing is that, while strangers will do it to you without hesitation, your best friends will too (keep in mind, when in-field your wing should never attempt to AMOG you). What I have noticed is that when two people have a connection in their friendship, they tend to banter with each other more than two individuals that do not share that connection. This is how Discovery and I developed the concept of WING-MOGING.

Wing-moging is a concept where wings can display a strong brotherhood and camaraderie by banter with each other. The routine not only displays a connection between the two, but also has DHV spikes embedded in that will set off attraction switches. The reason that the attraction is generated when viewing the display of connection is due to her sub conscious thought that is she aligns with one of the guys, she is guaranteed the social network, protection, resources and love from his wing and the other guys in his group.

The guys who have a strong connection with each other and have a tight "Entourage" game, can also be remembered much more by using wing-mog tactics. This will lead to the entire group being invited to better social occasions, girls tell their friends about the "friends" and say things like "you should meet these guys, they are so much fun”. You gain instant pre-selection to other targets by the girl who witnessed the wing-moging. Girls will invite us along because she knows her friends will appreciate her for meeting such awesome guys (which is rare). By Discovery and I using our wing-moging tactics, we can add to the social value and energy to the group. The possibilities become endless.

Example: Let's say Discovery is making fun of my beard

Discovery: What’s with the animal on your face bro?
Colgate: Man the chicks won't let me shave it, you should try it baby face!
Discovery: You know my girls like that "I've just had a face wax feel". Anyways your new Miss November girl surely can't like the feel of a badger scratching her bikini line!
Colgate: Man, (with exaggerated hand gestures) Miss November isn’t interested in my facial badger, she wants access to my Jurassic Park area! (Strokes groin area with cheeky smile)
Discovery: Why's that bro, cause it hides a monster? (said teasingly)
Colgate: Hey we are among friends here (puts arm around group and pulls them in and whispers) honestly more like a hamster. (when delivery is flawless the result is shrieks of laughter)
Colgate: So bro now that we are sharing how did the operation go (more serious tone)
Discovery: I will only get into it because I feel we are amongst friends, but it hurt like childbirth. You women have breast augmentations, BUT did u know you could literally double your length and increase your girth by 3 time!!! (pause) Now that the bandages are off, (release) I am so proud of my 3 inches!!!!
(Both guys howl with laughter while displaying to the group a connection in their friendship)

The idea is to generate a great vibe, embed DHV’s, show a tight brotherhood, while also not compromising each others values. Keep in mind this is not AMOGing, this is not meant to blow anyone out of the set. If anything it raises the value of both guys. Discovery and I can not tell you how many times this routine has led to us to being upgraded to V.I.P booths, celebrity after parties, invites to exclusive events, etc. We have also used it to skip lines at exclusive clubs when we have not had any pre-selection at all. When the guys have a strong frame and they demonstrate their brotherhood on the in they can easily persuade the bouncers that they offer value to the club. It is a very powerful gambit to add to you arsenal.

A word of advice, the delivery of both guys must be not only flawless but must also be genuine. Practice this enough until it comes off natural and real. It should not be scripted or feel scripted. When tight friends’ vibe together the energy they transmit is very powerful, Discovery and I developed this concept intuitively due to our tight brotherhood.

Another idea to keep in mind is that it can be done in front of other guys. Those guys who normally might try to be difficult or attempt to AMOG will sit back and observe both guys wing-moging. This will leave them with no place to interject and attempt to AMOG because they can not compete with two dominant forces putting out a great vibe, therefore, this is ideal for mixed set.

FIVE WING-MOG TIPS

1. Divide holding court: By dividing the attention, both guys can hit the attraction switches equally and be perceived as high value.
2. Feed off each others energy: When both guys are enjoying each others stories and adding value through laughter, the group will feel the emotional richness and enjoy the company of both guys.
3. Don’t under any circumstances make each other look bad: Wing-moging is meant to increase the value for BOTH guys. Do not make each other look bad, by one guy making his friend look bad, it in turn lowers his value.
4. Be comfortable displaying physical contact with each other: Hug your wing and do it comfortably. Not only will this give you plausible deniability to hug the girls more but it will visually show the connection of the brotherhood.
5. Be okay with laughing at yourself: If you are comfortable with laughing at yourself and your wing is as well, both of you can gain from the possibilities by telling stories of each other (be sure to embed DHV’s).

This concept has proven effective in many dynamical situations. We have ran venues with our vibe and have people remember us on a first name basis wherever we go. People are attracted to people who show appreciation for other people. They will not only attempt to be a part of your social circle, but they will go out of their way as well.

- Colgate

About Colgate

The Pick-Up Artist 2 (tv show) is a reality show on VH1 and iTunes, starring our very own Mystery and Matador. (Click for full article.)

The Pickup Artist: The New and Improved Art of Seduction (the book) is our new release from Villard books, by Mystery, author of The Mystery Method: How To Get Beautiful Women Into Bed, and Lovedrop, author of Revelation.

Coming off the success of his first bestselling book, The Mystery Method, Mystery once again teams up with writer Chris Odom to "impart some pearls of wisdom," and this time, he has quite a story to tell. Just as his VH1 reality show The Pickup Artist is about to debut in the United States, Mystery and his crew have withdrawn to their gorgeous Miami mansion to get into shape and plot their next move. A one-on-one pua student, Adam, comes to stay at the house and get his every question answered. As a kaleidoscope of crazy pua characters enlivens the scene, Mystery begins to draw Adam deeper and deeper into his world, where he witnesses firsthand the pitfalls of the pickup artist lifestyle, and gains an intimate portrait of Mystery's ideas and struggles. Eventually Adam must decide whether the powers of the pua game are worth the surreal lifestyle that comes along with it. As the book progresses, Mystery and his partners, Lovedrop and Matador, travel from the sands of South Beach to the strip clubs of Las Vegas, criss-crossing the country to teach their seminars on pickup and seduction. They party in the Hollywood Hills, set up their own Pleasure Bubble, and taste the high life among the towering skyscrapers of Manhattan. Along the way, Mystery reveals the next level of game theory and technique, designed to catapult timid and insecure men into a world of confidence, attractiveness, and all-around success with women. Mystery serves another rich helping of knowledge this go-around, for those readers seeking his techniques…

• A list of all the triggers that create—and destroy—attraction

• A new way to approach strangers and start a conversation: microcalibrated openers

• Mystery’s most powerful humor technique, The Absurd—so you’ll never run out of things to say again

• A full chapter on physical escalation (touching, kissing, “making a move”)

• The solution to inner-game issues, for improved confidence

• A chapter on exotic dancers and strip clubs

• How to set up your pimp pad

• Mystery's philosophy on life

• Plenty of gambits

• And much, much more…

When it comes time for Mystery to reveal the secrets of physical escalation (touching, kissing, 'making a move') he says,

"Physical escalation is actually quite easy. Just read along with me, and I will show you how. Just do what I say and it will work. Don’t worry, it’s easy, and the moves I’m going to teach you will not get you rejected. Trust me, it’s fun and you can stop anytime. Now, let’s get right into it…"

With all the good advice in this book, Valentine's day is sure to be just a little less lonely this year. We didn't know it could be so easy, Mystery. Thanks for all the good work. The Pickup Artist: The New and Improved Art of Seduction, by Mystery with Chris Odom. Foreword by Neil Strauss, author of The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. Also by Mystery: The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women into Bed

          Click here for more information on The Pickup Artist book…

Etiquette is important when you are on the phone.  Proper phone etiquette conveys social intelligence and is a DHV.  Yet sadly it is something which most people simply do not have.  These days, people do a lot of annoying things when they are talking to a person on the phone.  As a PUA you need to be a man who not only doesn’t do those things, but also a man who doesn’t stand for it when someone else does them to you.  As with my previous articles, everything mentioned below is a guideline only.  These rules are not set in stone!  You have to adapt and calibrate your actions as you go.

One of the most annoying things that happens on the phone is when you call someone and they are busy with something else and not giving you their full attention.  If you call her up and she sounds distracted or busy or like she’s with friends or at work, cut the call short.  Have you ever called a woman and then, in the middle of a sentence, had to stop because she got distracted by something else on her end of the phone and was ignoring you?  It’s annoying and rude and as a PUA, you should be too busy to sit and wait for her to finish talking to her friend while you are sitting there on the phone alone.  Just say “You sound pretty busy over there.  How about I call you back.”  This will build comfort because it shows that you are mindful of what is going on in her life, and build value because it conveys that you just don’t have time to sit around and wait for her to pay attention to you.  If she realizes that she was being rude, she might apologize, in which case you can say “Oh it’s no problem.  I just don’t like talking to someone when they can’t give me their full attention.  Don’t worry about it.”  Do this with a friendly and understanding tone.  Do not sound disappointed, angry, or annoyed.  She’s a busy girl just like you, and you understand and respect that.  You would simply prefer to talk to her when she’s not distracted. 

This same rule should apply to you if things start coming up on your end as well.  If you cant be sure that you can commit 100% to the conversation without being distracted by external factors, then just let her know that and call her back later.  Just say “Hey I’ve got ______ happening over here, and I know how much I hate talking to someone who is distracted by something on their end, so how about I call you back?”  This can be a very powerful because it shows that you expect whoever you are talking to on the phone to show you the same courtesy and won’t put up with that kind of rudeness on the phone. 

However, having said all that, you can build a tremendous amount of value if you ARE distracted by something important that is happening on your end of the phone.  Most of the time, I will answer my phone if I know that she will hear the sounds of adventure and excitement in the background.  If there are people laughing, shouting or shrieking excitedly, or if there is music playing in the background then I’ll answer as I’m leaving the room so that she can still hear the noise but will be able to hear me fine.  The key here is to let her know that you can only talk for a second because you are in the middle of something, but still talk to her for a little longer so that she can try to hear what is going on.  If your target asks you what you are up to you should use your best judgment regarding whether you should tell her or just be coy about it.  You’re probably not going to want to tell her that you’re all just playing Call of Duty at your apartment, but you are going to tell her if you’re having some drinks at a friend’s place while he grills up some steaks.  The idea here is to demonstrate that you are a busy, sociable guy who has a lot going on in his life.  Just be sure to remember the rules for etticate described above when you do this. 

Another important rule to remember here is to never give her the impression that you are TRYING to keep her on the phone when she doesn’t want to be.  The moment you sense that she’s isn’t really invested in the conversation, end the call.  If applicable, get her to call you back, but add in that she can’t call you during a certain period because you will be busy then yourself.  The phone is all about comfort.  Not just building it, but preserving it as well.  She should never feel uncomfortable talking to you on the phone and it should never feel like you are TRYING to keep her there.  In fact, it’s a good rule of thumb to end the call before she does, that way you can be sure that you are never dragging things out too long. 

Finally, DO NOT rely on texting for your phone game.  This is another common trend amongst new PUAs: they see texting (and also online messaging) as a way to avoid the awkwardness and anxiety of a phone call and so they only ever text their targets.  But unless you’re dealing with extremely young or immature girls, most women will tell you that a man who texts her instead of calling is probably doing it because he’s too afraid to call her and is thusly is not going to get a date with her. 

Don’t believe me?  Make this into your opener (“Hey guys, phone or text?”) and find out for yourself. Women are a lot more perceptive about these things than you think. 

Texting should be used for sending silly messages back and forth, to let her know you’re thinking of her, or maybe sending a quick update on plans you have already made (see my previous articles on phone game for more on this).  It is VASTLY more difficult to build comfort via text than it is through a phone call.  People need to hear a voice.  They need to feel your emotions when you tell a story.  Far too much of the meaning in your communication is lost in text messaging.  It’s for this very reason that I almost never add my targets to MSN, Facebook, or any of that stuff until after we have had – at the very least – a solid Day-2. 

Well that’s it for phone game.  I think I covered everything I’ve learned here in these articles.  Check back soon for my next article on make sure you and your wings are learning the most from each other. 
 

About Prophet